2008
点评了译文
快帆船
最近忙乎的,都没时间整理整理了,趁着这个周末,来重新看看上周和这周的译文。
1.Her topsails and flying kites had a faint glow upon them where the dawn caught them.上桅帆和迎风飘动的轻帆映着晨曦的微光。
这句实在可以赞一个。特别是“映着晨曦的微光”,简洁又形象。本人自己的版本,缺了个动词。划线的flying kites ,原来是轻帆的意思,有所误解。
2.hoisted inboard,原来是描述,舱内的舷灯被挂起。我又误解为,船儿随着浪升起。
3. every sail she wore burned rosily like an opal turned to the sun,这句话,参考译文是这样的:...船上的风帆好像面向阳光的蛋白石一样透着玫瑰色。自我感觉,它没将"burn"这么强烈色彩的词翻出似乎有些可惜了。偶自己的这句,倒还好些。呵呵,纯属个人观点。
4.She was radiant; she was of an immortal beauty, that swaying, delicate clipper. 这句,参译将其翻成了感叹句:她灿烂绚丽,美若天仙,那只款款而动、体态轻盈的快帆船呀!值得借鉴,而且四字词语用得也是恰倒好处。
5.Coming as she came, out of the mist into the dawn, she was like a spirit, like an intellectual presence.参译的这一处,实在让人译想不到呀。她一路驶来,出迷雾,入熹微,她好像一个魂灵,一个智慧女神。这个
6. there was color upon the boats and tacking 划线处词组指的是快帆船附带着的小船和船具,它们也被太阳染上了颜色。偶的理解还是有些偏差的。
7.One thought that she would that speak in some strange language or break out into a music which would express the sea and that great flower in the sky.且看参译(差距啊!!):人们以为,她就要用一种陌生的语言开口说话,或演奏一首乐曲来抒发对大海的依恋,歌唱太阳的温情。
8.the red 代指测深铅锤。
9.she shook the sea from her as she rose,Shook,参译用了一个“抖”字,抖掉全身的海水,拟人手法。
10.adding our position and comparing our chrono- meters,确定位置,核准经纬仪,这点我就不是很懂了。有什么用的。