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爆强笑话接龙：让翻译生活有滋有味！


francis 2008

446 Replies, 1 - 20    ( Reply )

# 1
francis
2008
先接我的：

某男养一猪，烦，弃之。然其猪知家之归路，数弃未果。庶日，男驾车弃猪，当晚致电其妻曰：猪归否？妻曰：归矣。男吼道：让它接电话，老子迷路了！

A man had a pig, but he was tired of it and tried to throw it away. However the pig knew the way back home, and the man failed for many times.
Some days later, the man drove far away to throw away the pig. He called his wife that night, and asked, 'Has the pig gone back home?' 'Sure!' his wife said. The man shouted, 'Let him anwer the phone, I've got lost!'
# 2
lucky
2008
好想法，无聊之余，凑个热闹，俺来也......


一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."


A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"


# 3
jackiegao
2008
第二个好好笑啊，翻译的也好啊。支持！
也来看看发生我们身边真实的更好笑的糗事吧http://www.elanso.com/GroupTopic/JXHQNOMlHvVcKzU0NiW6PUIi.html
# 4
shog
2008
我的一个朋友，在美国空军里开利尔喷气机。他经常会被派到航展去，任务之一就是回答游客关于他的飞机的问题。总是有人会指着油箱问：“这飞机上装没装导弹啊？”我那个朋友的标准回答就是：“我也不确定这飞机上有没有装核武器。”

I have a friend who flew Lear Jets for the U.S. Air Force. He would occasionally be assigned to an air show where one of his tasks was answering questions about his plane. Someone would always point to the fuel tank and ask if it was a missile. His standard answer was, "I can neither confirm or deny the presence of nuclear weapons on this aircraft."
# 5
Lucia_xmy
2008
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"


一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
# 6
litsword
2008
好好玩啊，我也来接一个

An American stepped into a gun shop,"Give me the most powerful pistol."
"How many bullets do you need?"
The American walked to a telephone booth,"Hello. Is that the bank? How many people do you have,Please?"

一个美国人走进枪支商店:"给我拿一支威力最大的手枪."
"您需要多少发子弹?"
那个美国人走到公用电话间旁打电话:"喂,银行吗?请问你们有多少人?"
# 7
KAlittlecat
2008
从前有一只骆驼。它问他妈妈说:"我真的是骆驼么"他妈妈回答：“你真的是骆驼”。他又问他爸爸说：“我真的是骆驼么”他爸爸说：“你真的是骆驼。”于是他很无辜地问道：“那为什么我还觉得这么热呢”

# 8
litsword
2008
再接再厉哦~

小弟不才，发篇中文的博大家一笑，哪位高手有兴趣译成英文的让老外也跟着乐哈！08奥运要跟世界接轨哦~

孙悟空身材虽小，武艺精高，自以为是：“俺老孙会72大变，能驾筋斗云，闹过兜率宫，骂过玉帝佬，斗过如来佛。谁要是跟着俺老孙坐上筋斗云，到地球、月球、星球上去旅游，一概不用买飞机票及宇航票，也用不着办理什么出国护照！嘿嘿！”
可是，他遇上老家哈妹却是一个彻头彻尾的网迷：“好，好！请问……您会上网吗？”
孙悟空：“上网？上什么网？噢！俺老孙昔日大闹盘丝洞时，倒是上过蜘蛛网。结果被俺老孙一棍就把那网捣了一个稀巴烂，哈哈！”
老家哈妹一听，立马晕倒……  
# 9
ben_qq
2008
楼主这个idea不错，赞赞赞!!!我也贡献一篇，大家也别吝啬，有翻译帮忙翻译，不会翻译的多多贡献笑话，会比躲在背后默不作声的强哦~~~~~~~

^-^  

有个绅士从印度尼西亚的爪哇回到日本，带了许多爪哇麻雀。他把这些麻雀送给了一位很喜欢麻雀的贵人。一天，这位贵人的仆人在洗涤雀笼的时候，不小心放走了一只麻雀。这仆人知道他的主人查出了此事定会发怒。所以他找了一只平常的东洋麻雀放在笼子里，充当那只失去的麻雀，不久，这位贵人就来看麻雀，他看出了这笼子里普通的日本麻雀，就唤他的仆人，说：“这只普通麻雀怎样会走进这里的？它只是一只普通的日本麻雀？”这仆人回答道：“是的，主人，不错，那只是一只普通的日本麻雀，但因为其余的麻雀都是外来客，我想他们需要一位翻译呢！”
# 10
lucky
2008
我也有个翻译笑话，蛮可乐的....

美国记者埃德加•斯诺曾多次来中国访问和采访，中文不错，可以说是个中国通。然而，斯诺面对深奥复杂的汉语，还是常常一知半解，特别是对一些成语和引经据典的词汇，往往摸不着头脑，闹出不少翻译笑话。

1970年，“文革”时期，埃德加•斯诺又到北京访问毛泽东。谈话中：

毛泽东说：在中国，一些人对我有些恐惧心理。可是，我却是和尚打伞——无发（法）无天！
斯诺译为：“毛泽东说他是手执雨伞，云游四方的孤僧”。

毛泽东说：一诺千金，
斯诺译为：只要一答应，就要付美金一千元；

毛泽东说：丈二和尚
斯诺译为：一个叫丈二的和尚；


毛泽东说：胡适先生，驰骋文坛；
斯诺译为：有人能在写字台上跑马吗？有，那就是中国的胡适先生。
# 11
gery
2008
把爪哇麻雀翻了一下，看来翻译还真无处不在啊～～祝大家今年都能接到好项目吧～～

A gentleman came back to Japan from Java, Indonesia with many Javanese sparrows.  He gave these sparrows to a nobleman.  One day, a sparrow flew away when the servant of the nobleman was washing the cage.  The servant knew that his master would be angry if he noticed this, thus he put an ordinary Japanese sparrow into the cage instead.  Later on, the nobleman found the truth and asked the servant, “How did this ordinary sparrow come into the cage? Is it just a Japanese sparrow?”  “Yes, master, you are correct! It’s an ordinary Japanese sparrow, but since all the others are foreigners, they may need a translator!” The servant answered.
# 12
francis
2008
感谢支持这个帖子的兄弟姐妹们！所有回帖的人，2008年会很旺的，非常旺，嗷嗷旺！

# 13
jiawinters
2008
楼主的声音很响亮啊，生活中需要笑话，做翻译遇到的笑话也不少，拿来与大家分享，让大家都开开心心！
# 14
happy123
2008

认识你门我很高兴～～门也很高兴～～我家现在很冷～～～我就颤抖着翻一下楼下几层那个骆驼的冷笑话吧～～


Long long ago, there was a camel. One day, he asked his mother "Mom, am I a camel?" His mother said "Yes!"


And then he asked his father "Dad, am I a camel?" His father said "Sure!"


Then he asked sadly "Why do I still feel so hot?"


骆驼啊，你来给我暖暖手吧～～～～～～～～～～（颤抖中）


# 15
francis
2008
HAPPY123 和Jiawinters，认识你们我也很高兴！！
谢谢捧场哈，欢迎有事没事都来响亮的吼一声！
有好玩的别忘了也拿上来贴贴，什么都行～～～
# 16
jiawinters
2008
Jack participated in a competition for writing the shortest story. The organizers had put a condition that the story must have four ingredients i.e.religion, sex, suspense and mystery.
Jack's turn came after many attempts by others. Jack read out his story, which comprised just one sentence:

"Oh god, my wife is going to deliver a child".

Ostensibly amused, the organizers asked Jack to explain how it contained all the four ingredients.

Jack gave his explanation; " Religion is denoted by the words Oh God. "My wife" refers to sex. And "going to deliver a child" indicates suspense - whether a girl or a boy."
Amused one ofthe organizers asked; "Okay.... but where is the mystery?"
Jack replied. " Don't you see. There is no mention who is the father?"
# 17
bensun
2008
来个英翻中的，刚做完一个小项目，上来喘口气，大家同乐啊～～～～

The Same Service

A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor.

"When I was first married, I was very happy. I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop, and my little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. Now everything's changed. When I come home, my dog brings me my slippers,and my wife barks at me."

"I don't know what you're complaining about," said the counselor. "You're still getting the same service."

同样的服务
一个结婚10年的男人向婚姻顾问寻求咨询。

“我刚结婚的时候非常开心。我每天在店里忙了一天，回到家里，我的狗会围着我边跑边叫，我妻子会把拖鞋递给我。现在什么都变了。当我回家的时候，我的狗会给我拿拖鞋，我妻子却对着我大叫。”

“我不明白你在抱怨什么，”顾问说道，“你还是接受着同样的服务啊！”
# 18
chocolate
2008
支持一下！加油哟！挺不错的！
Do You Know My Work？

One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．

Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．

“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”

“You don't know my work，” said the other．

“What is your work？”

“I'm a policeman．

“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．

“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”

你知道我是干什么的吗？

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。

两个人站在外面，看着大火。

“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”

“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。

“你是干什么的？”

“我是警察。”

“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。

“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
# 19
Somying
2008
大家一起来减肥吧~~~姐妹们小心皱纹哦~~
It's all in the punctuation:
An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
# 20
Somying
2008
　　小明：I am sorry!
　　
　　老外：I am sorry too!
　　
　　小明：I am sorry three!
　　
　　老外：What are you sorry for?
　　
　　小明：I am sorry five!


   小明啊，你太“有才”了！
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