Law seeks to thwart “puppy love”
制止早恋要靠法律了?

导读：8月底，黑龙江省首开先河，对“早恋”(puppy love)问题进行立法。新法规一经颁布，立刻在社会上引起巨大反响。不少人质疑：学生早恋是否应该纳入法规监管？它是否具有实际操作性？一纸法规对早恋究竟有多大作用？

8月底，黑龙江省十一届人大常委会第十二次会议对《黑龙江省未成年人保护条例》进行了修订，其中增加了有关未成年人“早恋”内容的规定：“父母或者其他监护人应当对未成年子女或者被监护的未成年人进行批评、教育、制止和矫正。” In late August, at the 12th session of the 11th Standing Committee of Heilongjiang Provincial People’s Congress regulations regarding the protection of minors were amended with the addition of provisions relevant to so-called “puppy love”. The provisions state that: “Parents or other guardians should criticize, educate, stop and correct minors.”
现行的国家和其他地方的法律法规中，并没有关于“早恋”的规定。黑龙江省成为首个对“早恋”问题进行立法的省。 Existing national and local laws and regulations have no provisions on “puppy love”. Heilongjiang is the first province to so legislate.

立法者：强调监护人责任无可厚非 Legislator: guardians’ responsibility.

黑龙江省人大的一位立法官员表示，对于有关“早恋”的规定，应当全面、正确解读。条例中的“批评、教育、制止和矫正”，并不是对所有的情况都一概而论，可由法定监护人根据具体情况，选择不同的有效方法。 A Congress legislative official said that the provisions should be used carefully. The directive to “criticize, educate, stop and correct” should not be dogmatically interpreted. It was important that legal guardians were sensitive to individual cases.

也有一些不同的声音，认为“虽说这样的法律条文很难达到预期效果，但不能把立法限制早恋读偏，对于立法价值也不能全盘否定”。他们认为，应当更重视法律的引导和教育功能。 Critical opinions are being voiced: “It will be difficult to use the law to achieve the desired effects. But we need to fully understand the legislation, we cannot simply reject it,” These voices think that it is the educational aspects of the provisions that are most important.

老师：早恋难界定，引导胜于法规 Teachers: “puppy love” or “intense friendships”?

广州某中学的吴小建老师认为，立法者的出发点可以理解，但从教育角度上看却欠缺人性化，难以实施。 Wu Xiaojian, a Guanzhou high school teacher, thinks that the provisions have educational value, but that they do not recognize the reality of the feelings of young people and will be difficult to implement.

“现在我们对早恋的界定本就存在争议：什么才算早恋？大多数高中生的生理已经成熟，心理却处于半成熟阶段，我们如今在教育中都不使用早恋这个词，而从行为角度进行界定，叫异性交往过密。学生对此也比较容易接受。”她说 “We have no real definition of the ‘puppy love’ the provisions refer to, or what kind of behaviors fall under the category of ‘puppy love’. Most high school students are less mentally mature than they are physically mature. We don’t use the phrase ‘puppy love’ in education any more. From a behavioral standpoint, it would be better to speak of ‘intense friendships’. Students, too, find that expression more agreeable,” Wu said.

家长：制止早恋写进法规不具操作性 Parents：difficulty of implementing legislation.

多数家长对这个法规并不赞同。 Most parents don’t back the provisions.

游太太的女儿刚上高一，对于这个新规定，她认为没必要。“早恋是孩子的隐私问题，写进法律本来就不对，把制止学生恋爱当作家长的一个义务也是不合理的，很难量化，也不具备现实的操作性。”她说，从孩子的心理特点来看，他们正处于叛逆期，强行制止和矫正，可能会适得其反，严重影响亲子关系。 Mrs. You, whose daughter has just entered high school, thinks the new provisions are unnecessary. She said, “This is a matter of children’s privacy and not a matter of law. It isn’t the responsibility of parents, but the matter is a difficult one because ‘puppy love’ is so difficult to understand and it’s difficult to implement rules with respect to it.” In their teenage years children often go through a rebellious phase. If the regulations are implemented heavy-handedly, it will not be good for relations betweens parents and children.

对于自己的女儿，游太太表示，当然希望她不要过早地恋爱，但如果真的恋爱了也不一定反对，因为健康的交往对她的生活学习未必就一定带来负面影响。“就算要‘制止’，也要很有技巧，不能单凭法律规定。”她说。 Mrs. You said that she hopes her daughter will not form a romantic relationship early, but if she does she will not oppose it for fear of it having a negative effect on her daughter. “To deal effectively with these issues, we need to act responsibly rather than depend on regulations,” she added.

学生：硬性规定可能会引起叛逆心理 Children: the rules will result in rebelliousness

此规定在学生中一石激起千重浪。 Students discuss the provisions.

就读于广州某知名中学的小陈看来，早恋至少可以分为小学和中学两个阶段，家长的处理方式也应有所区别。正值青春期初期的小学生，对于两性和爱情存在朦胧的认识，家长应科学地引导及纠正。具有一定是非辨别能力的中学生，更希望家长能像朋友一样交流。 Xiao Chen, a Guanzhou high school student, believes “puppy love” can be divided into two kinds, corresponding to the school levels of students. Entering puberty, primary school students are largely ignorant about the opposite sex, so parents need to guide and correct their behavior. Secondary school students, who are more capable of making judgments, are often eager to go to parents for advice

“费这么大力气定出的这些硬邦邦的法规条文，还不如在学校里安排一些亲子讲座，让家长和学生一起学习交流，这样的效果可能会更好。”她说。 “Instead of legislation, we need something like a lecture program to teach parents and children how to talk with each other freely.” she said.

专家： 粗暴制止孩子早恋不可取，不如一起面对 Expert: Let’s face the issue together

资深心理咨询师于东辉认为，在对早恋进行法律规定完全没有必要。 Senior psychologist Yu Donghui believes that the “puppy love” provisions are totally unnecessary.

“对孩子的教育是一个家庭的事情，你可以在道德上对其不适当的行为进行谴责，媒体可以加以引导，但早恋本身并不违法，上升到法律法规的层面是一件滑稽的事情。”他说。 “Children`s education is the responsibility of family. Certain behaviors should be condemned, it is true. And there is a role for the media in offering guidance. But it seems strange to make laws about puppy love, which is not illegal.”.

“早恋不可怕，可怕的是视其如洪水猛兽。对家长而言，一旦发现子女有早恋的苗头，首先要用恰当方式进行制止，否则可能会给孩子造成心理阴影。其次，父母要与孩子一起面对青春期的躁动和困惑，并提供适当的建议。” “There is nothing particularly wrong with ‘puppy love’, but provisions like these threaten to turn it into something monstrous. If a parent discovers a relationship they should try to find the right way to stop it. Handled insensitively, it will have a bad effect on the child. Parents should face the problems of puberty together, and offer advice.”

历数防止早恋雷人怪招 thunder-shock measures to stop puppy love

设定“标准距离” set “standard distance”

南京市某高中曾给所有女生开了一个会，要求女生在与男生接触时应保持44厘米的“标准距离”。 A Nanjing high school held a meeting at which girls were called on to maintain an “average distance" of 44 centimeters from boys.

删除《牛郎织女》 delete "Legend of Love"(Niulang,Zhinv)

在我国流传很广、家喻户晓的民间故事《牛郎织女》落选新学期小学语文教材，重庆市教科院教研员乔华分析说，可能是编者担心娃娃会受到早恋影响才删除的。 "Legend of Love", a famous folk tale, is no longer features in primary school textbooks. Qiao Hua, who works at the Chongqing Academy of Education and Science, says the reason may be that the editors considered the question of puppy love before making choices about selections.

实行男女分班 to assign the class by gender

上海、北京、重庆等地的个别中学，曾在高中部实行男女分班，以防止学生早恋。 In Shanghai, Beijing, Chongqing and other cities, some secondary schools have divided classes up by gender in a move to thwart puppy love.