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Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day

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Jeff Dunham: Illegally Parking in the Handicap Spot

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Walter: My wife and I couldn't find any place to park anywhere near this stinkin' joint. And some jerk pulled up in a brand new Mercedes and pulled right into the handicap spot. He got out of the car and there was nothin' wrong with him, don't you hate that? So I ran his ass over. I made an honest man out of him! And his mother got out of the other side and started swinging her crutches at me -- t... 00:41
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Bellboy

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died."Congregation," the priest... 11-16
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Victorian Ladies

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- How many Victorian ladies does it take to change a lightbulb?One hundred.One to replace the bulb and ninety-nine to contract consumption and die beautiful, poetic deaths. 11-15
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Victoria's Five-Legged Secret

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Did you hear about the woman who has five legs? Her panties fit her like a glove! 11-14
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People in Grass Houses

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- The king of a small African nation had an elegant golden throne in his large grass hut. When an old friend came to visit from another nation, he was worried that the man would discover he was a king and treat him differently. He searched frantically for a place to hide the throne, but to no avail. Finally, he decided to have it wedged up in the ceiling of his hut. When his friend arrived, he went ... 11-13
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Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Senior Photo

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Yo' Mama is so fat, her senior photo is an aerial shot. 11-12
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It's the Big One - Take Cover!!!!!!!!!!!

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?It's all your fault! 11-11
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One-Handed Man Crossing

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Why did the one-handed man cross the road?To get to the second hand shop. 11-10
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Musicians and Lightbulbs

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, two, one, two, three, four! 11-09
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Pregnant Tree

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- How does a tree get pregnant?By a woodpecker! 11-08
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Snakeskin Punny

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- What kind of condoms do snakes use? Anacondoms! 11-07
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Let's Play Monkey In The Tree

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? 'Cause he was dead! 11-06
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Yo' Mama Is So Fat... Telephone Company

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Yo' Mama is so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes. 11-05
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Hunters Must Keep Quiet

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Joe takes his friend Steve hunting for the first time and reminds him to be still and keep quiet.An hour into the woods, Joe hears Steve screaming behind him. "I thought I told you to be quiet!" says Joe."Hey, I kept quiet when the snake bit me," says Steve, "and I was quiet when the fox attacked me. But when the two chipmunks crawled up my pant leg just now, I heard one ask the other, 'Should we ... 11-04
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Barbie

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 11-04
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Telephone Operator's Proposal

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- How did the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend?He gave her a ring. 11-03
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Yo Mama's So Fat... School Bus

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Yo mama's so fat that when she sees a school bus she yells, "Stop that Twinkie!" 11-03
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Little Johnny's Halloween

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- Little Johnny was on a park bench stuffing all of his Halloween candy in his mouth. An old lady came over and said. "Son, don't you know that eating all of that candy will rot your teeth, give you acne, and make you sick?" "My grandfather lived to be 105 years old!" replied Johnny. "Did he eat five candy bars at a sitting?" the old lady retorted. "No," said Johnny, "but he minded his own freakin' ... 11-01
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Halloween Ha-Ha-Frickin'-Ha

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit! 10-31
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Halloween Treats for the Dead

Comedy Central's Jokes.com: Joke of the Day -- What did the ghost get for Halloween?Some Booo-T 10-31
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