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What's Humor

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Proof that Girls are evil

What's Humor -- 1: First we state that girls require money and timeGirls = Time x Money2: And we all know: time is moneyGirls = Money x Money = Money ^ 23: And because money is the root of all evilMoney = Evil ^ 0.5Therefore:Girls = (Evil ^ 0.5) ^ 24: And we are forced to conclude that Girls = Evil See? I told you. :) 2008 采编 Jeremy0641
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A man laying sprawled across three entire seats

What's Humor -- A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, 'Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.' The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. 'Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.' Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched br... 2008 采编 ljbaggio
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0 人

No bull！

What's Humor -- Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 2008 采编 ljbaggio
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To yourhouse

What's Humor -- A guy sticks his head in the barber shop and asks, 'How long before I can get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop and says, 'About two hours.' The guy leaves. A few days later, the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, 'How long before I get a haircut?' The barber looks around the shop full of customers and says, 'About two hours.' The guy leaves. A week later, the same guy stick... 2008 采编 ljbaggio
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0 人

That's nice, that's real nice

What's Humor -- One day these two fine southern ladies were sittin' on the front porch having some iced tea. One of the women sticks out her hand for the other woman to see, and in her long southern drawl says 'Look at this ring my husband gave me. Isn't it nice?' To which the other woman replies, 'Oh that's nice, that's real nice.' The first woman then says , 'And just last month he took me on one of them Caribb... 2008 采编 ljbaggio
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Head goes to the bar

What's Humor -- A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest,... 2008 采编 hujiangang
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0 人

A man lost his wife

What's Humor -- When Mr.. Wilkins answered the door late in the evening one day after he'd lost his wife scuba diving, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen. We're sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife. Well...tell me! he demanded. The policeman said, We have some bad news, some pretty good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear firs... 2008 采编 hujiangang
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0 人

Trying to fix a clock

What's Humor -- Harvey's grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop. In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, Vat sims to be ze problem? Harvey says, I'm not sure, but it doesn't go 'tick-tocktick -tock' anymore. Now it just goes 'tick...tick...tick.' The old man says, Mmm-Hm... 2008 采编 hujiangang
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0 人

Actors picking parts

What's Humor -- A director is screen testing Sylvestor Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger for a new film about classic composers. Not having figured out who to give which part to, he asks Sly who he would like to be. Stallone says I like Mozart. I want to be Mozart So the Director says, Very well, you can be Mozart Then he turns to Arnie and says Arnie, who would you like to play ? And Arnie says Ah'll be Bach! 2008 采编 hujiangang
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Pigeon flying in sky

What's Humor -- But baby pigeon said, I can't make it; I'll get too tired. His mother said, Don't worry; I'll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine. The baby started to cry.What's wrong? said the mother.I don't want to be pigeon towed! 2008 采编 hujiangang
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A Mother Knows

What's Humor -- One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me and my brother who is four years younger than I am. He was maybe 3-1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident in which his arm had been broken. Someone had given him a little "tea set" as a get-well gift and it was one of his favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news and my brother was playing nearb... 2008 采编 sunnyyen
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0 人

Pigs

What's Humor -- A little pig came up to me while I was waiting at a stop light in Walnut Creek. He squealed "Pssst down here." I looked down. The pig looked up at me and asked: "Can you keep a secret?" I don't know, I said. It depends."Oh hell," said the pig. "I'll tell you anyway.""You know how Amazon has all those great web services."Yes, I said, I use them and they're great. "Well how would you like to get all... 2008 采编 Jessie_yu0539
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The World's Greatest Swordsman

What's Humor -- At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The grea... 2008 采编 briany
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0 人

Too Polite

What's Humor -- A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman.A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite... 2008 采编 pamela
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The Beat Seller in the World

What's Humor -- Harry saw an advertising in a window. It said: "Wanted. The Best Sales- man in the World. Top Pay."" I' m a great salesman." Harry told himself." I can sell anything. I'll go in and ask for that job."He went into the building and spoke to the manager."I'm the best salesman in the world," he said. "Give me the job. ""You must prove you're the best," the manager said."I'll pass every test you give m... 2008 采编 pamela
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Only cash and credit cards

What's Humor -- When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depend on room size and number of people." Do you take children?" the man asked."No, sir," replied the clerk. "Only cash and credit cards." 2008 采编 casper
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Does the dog know the proverb,too?

What's Humor -- The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 2008 采编 casper
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Early Shopper

What's Humor -- It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner."What are you charged with?" he asked."Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant."That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?""Before the store opened," countered the prisoner. 2008 采编 spence
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Give me a goose!

What's Humor -- In a small pretty village in Notting ham shire there formerly lived a respectable Squire， who excelled all his friends in amusements athletic， and whose manner of living was far from ascetic． A wife he had taken for better or worse， whose temper had proved an intolerant curse；but at length， to his great and unspeakable joy， she died when presenting a fine little boy．Strange fancies men have；—the f... 2008 采编 spence
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What Is a Traitor？

What's Humor -- Young hopeful：“Father，what is a traitor in politics？” Father（a veteran politician）：“A traitor is a man who leaves our party and goes over to the other one．” Young hopeful：“Well then，what is a man who leaves his party and comes over to yours？” Father：“A convert，my son．” 2008 采编 phipea
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