Learn to accept yourself, that’s the way to construct your own mind.
American psychologist Nathaniel Brandon had given an example of himself. Many years ago, a 24 year-old young woman named Lolisy seeked him for psychologic therapy after reading one of his books unconsciously. Lolisy got an angel face, but quarreled with inurbane words. She used to hit the pipe and prostitute herself.
Brandon said: on the one hand, anything she did made me disgust. On the other hand, he liked her very much. Not only because her beautiful appearance, but also because he believed that she must be an excellent person under the covering of corruption. In the first beginning, I used hypnogenesis in order to make her remember of what she looked like when she was in junior high school. She was really smart at that time, but feared of projecting herself because she feared of the jealous from classmates. She had ever gotten a rise out of classmates just because she was much excellent than boys in physical education, even including her brother. She practised vacuum training according to my commands, and then she wrote those words with crying: You trust me, and you do not consider me as a bad girl! You make me feel painful, and also give me the hope! You just take me back to the reality life, I hate you!
One and a half years later, Lolisy was matriculated by Los Angeles University for studying writing. Then she got married and became a reporter few years. One day after ten years, I came across her in the street, I could nearly recognize her: she wore gorgeous clothes, with spunky temperament. You can’t ever feel any ravage of past from her again. After greeting, she said:”you are the only one who hadn’t looked down on me as a bad girl, you treated me as a special person, and you also made me believe it. I hate you so much at that time. I never fell across this before, because I have to admit who I am and what kind of person I am. People always say it’s really hard to accept your own flaws. Basically, it’s also very hard to accept your own virtues.”
Why could it be so hard to give up perfection and carry through self-approval? That’s because you have to keep your brain working during the process of self-approval. Stir yourself, catch hold of opportunity and ahead for the challenge of life, that’s what the self-conscious life and positive attitude mean. If you treat friends unfrankly, then you are unable to do self-approval and maybe feel be abandoned. Thus it can be seen, self-approval is a confident consciousness and brave behavior!
You must learn to give up perfection, and not always seek for it in order to face success, because there is no apple-pie person. Actually, it is really a comfortable fact. The earlier we accept the truth, the earlier we could stride forward new goals. That’s the true meaning of life.
How can we improve ourselves without self-approval precondition? Such as how to look on self-image.
Standing in the front of pier glass and looking into yourself from head to foot. You may like or dislike some parts of yourself. Some parts of yourself may make you feel uncomfortable. Do not escape, do not collide, and do not disavow your own visage even if you don’t like it. At that moment, you have to give up perfection, and give up “public” standard, just treat yourself on your own standard. Otherwise you may unable to carry through self-approval.
France great thinker Rousseau ever said:”The nature created me and then he broke up the mold.” These words sounded really incredible. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t fit each person, and regrettably, most of people are not willing to accept selves losing molds. So they figure themselves once again with perfect standard, which meant “public mold”, as a result, every person looked similar, and lost selves.
“To be yourself!” That’s why this proverb became easy to learn but hard to do. How could you still talk about self-improved without selves, personality and self-awareness?
Then how shall we do? You must look yourself into mirror, and try to tell yourself:”I will accept myself unconditionally and do my best to like who I am.” Thus, you may feel confused: why should I accept unconditionally as if I don’t like myself?
Accept means to accept truth, to accept yourself entirely. You’ll feel relax and comfort when you accept yourself. After short time, you may realize the supplemented relationship between self-approval and self-confidence. That’s the way to construct your won mind when we learn to accept ourselves.