Let me ask you a quick question. It’s a question that most men do not know the answer to… It’s also a question that most women do know the answer to…
The question: “What is Sexual Tension?”
Take a minute and “mentally answer” that question. Think it over if you have to. I’m not kidding. Think about it. What did you come up with?
I prefer a very pure definition of sexual tension because it is grounded in real sexual desire, and a very natural way of magnifying the tension felt by the woman.
Sexual tension is the occurrence between two people or in works of fiction where two or more of the individuals sexually long for one another, but the consummation is postponed or never occurs. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance, when two people or characters are alone, are physically close, but desire is never explicitly expressed.
Sexual tension is the presence of a controlled arousal state, in the absence of overt sexual interest. In other words, some guys think that the words Sexual Tension mean “negative anxiety about sex” or something equally unhelpful.
But, if you go ask a group of women what the words mean, you’ll get a much different answer. Women know what Sexual Tension is.
To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling that she feels during those times when she is interacting with a man that she feels for… but she doesn’t know exactly what’s going to happen.
Maybe she can’t tell if he’s into her, but the conversation is so good that something must be happening…
Maybe he’s making her laugh a little bit “too much”, and she’s unable to control her feelings towards him…
Or maybe it’s obvious that he’s interested, but he’s so in control of himself and the situation that he’s not blatantly “making a move”… and she’s on the edge of her seat waiting to know what’s going to happen.
These are all possible examples of Sexual Tension. Now, just because one of these situations is happening doesn’t mean that Sexual Tension is present. But these are the types of situations where it is most likely to be present.
With that, let me see if I can take you behind the scenes and give you a different perspective. Men and women have some BIG differences when it comes to attraction.
Men have their “attraction mechanisms” “triggered” by much different things than women.
For women, things usually begin with a small spark. Eye contact for a little too long. A Cocky & Funny comment. A teasing remark. It can be anything. The point is that something sparks the attraction.
Then it grows over time.
It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, but it does usually require time. It might take an evening, or it might take a date or two… but if a man does all the right things he can AMPLIFY one these little sparks of attraction into a powerful emotional feeling for a woman… that is too much for her to resist.
Of course, as we both know, a man can usually feel a sexual attraction to a woman instantly. What’s worse, we totally don’t get how things work for women.
So we tend to do all the wrong things. And when we do all the wrong things, women don’t even get the little sparks that can grow into full-blown attraction.
And remember, building intrigue and anticipation is not a task that you need to do with techniques. It is fun, women love it, and when you get the hang of it, you will too.