Written on 4/09/2008 by Shelly DeVous.
“I laughed so hard, I cried.”
When was the last time you made that statement and really meant it; when you laughed so hard tears welled in your eyes? Hopefully, recently enough that you remember.
Laughter is a characteristic of a happy person and according to
Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, University of California-Riverside, the pursuit of happiness has many benefits:
- Higher income and superior work outcomes; better quality work
- Larger social rewards such as longer marriages, more friends
- More activity and energy
- Better physical health; lower stress and less pain
- Longer life
Sign me up! The benefits of happiness describe what most of us feel is an ideal life…more fun at work, many friends, successful relationships, lots of energy, and long life with less pain. And that’s not all!
“…happy individuals are more creative, helpful, charitable, and self-confident, have better self-control, and show greater self-regulatory and coping abilities,” according to Dr. Lyubomirsky’s research.
Convinced you should be a happier person? Our forefathers knew what they were doing when they include “the pursuit of happiness” in the Declaration of Independence. They planted the seed to what Dr. Lyubomirsky considers “…an American cultural obsession.”
If happiness is so beneficial, and we all seem to be obsessed with the notion, why aren’t more of us happy? The research suggests our focus may be misplaced:
“Pleasure-seeking, quick fixes, and self-gratification are proven to have limited long-term effects on true happiness.”
Forget about buying the new outfit, the fancy car, or the latest gadget as ways to achieve happiness. Purchases simply satisfy the short-term need for self-gratification. Things do not produce a happy life…
you do.
What does it take to be a truly happy person? Being happy and reaping the rewards of happiness does not mean adopting a “
Pollyanna” attitude. It is not smiling on the outside when you are really churning on the inside.
Real happiness has more to do with effort than attitude.
In her study [
.pdf], “Achieving sustainable gains in happiness: change your actions not your circumstances,” Dr. Lyubomirsky found that the secret to happiness is hard work
not “quick-fixes,” and compulsive self-gratification.
“Effort and hard work offer the most promising route to happiness….engagement in activities that promote one’s highest potential…enterprise, exploration of one’s interests and overcoming obstacles are the secret to happiness.”
Be happier by working harder? It sounds like an oxymoron! Most of us believe the opposite…work less and we’ll be happier, but that isn’t what the research suggests. The key to true happiness is to work at what you do best; do the work you are meant to do.
Remember the book, “
Do what you love, the money will follow: Discovering your right livelihood
?” It advances the idea that we should follow our heart to make a living. Dedicating your life to work that does not enhance your unique gifts it generates dissatisfaction and stress, not happiness. Work at what you do best, devote yourself to that effort, and happiness will be the logical result; not doing less of what you dislike, but doing more of what you love.
Doing what you dislike also thwarts creativity and hinders helpfulness. If you are unhappy doing what your doing, it is improbable that you will want to share your work or feel energized to apply creative effort. Dr. Lyubomirsky describes happy people as more creative, helpful, and self-confident. Confidence builds when we work creatively at what we are meant to do, and then selflessly share our work with others.
The pattern emerges: do what you love and creativity, confidence and helpfulness follows. You will be happier.
In my recent DLM article, “
Gain by giving: How to live a good life,” I described living A Good Life as sharing what is unique about you:
“Kindly, generously, share your opinions and ideas. Be truthful, honest and willing. Smile and be optimistic about your gifts. Give of yourself so others can gain. Do it everyday, with every encounter….Enriching another’s life with your unique gift is living A Good Life…however and wherever that manifests itself.”
Experiencing true happiness and living A Good Life are synonymous; the steps to each are the same:
- Be yourself
- Identify your unique gifts
- Engage in activities that promote your gifts—your highest potential
- Share your gifts with others
- Confront obstacles, don’t shun them
Pursuit of happiness is an inalienable right. You are meant to be happy…to do what you love not what you hate; using your unique gifts to enrich your life and the lives of others. When you do that, you will experience true happiness and all its wonderful benefits.
That is no laughing matter!