Elanso

Today I was extremely harsh with the Beamz Laser Music system. So acid, it seems, that the public relations company that represents the product contacted me about it:

Jesus: Ouch! - you really nailed us on the beamz video. Okay, you don't like the video - I get that. But that's not being fair to the product itself.

Of course, we do think the beamz offers plenty of opportunity for creativity and I am hoping you'll see that when you get the product. It is not meant to be a traditional musical instrument because that takes so much training for people to master. The beamz was conceived and created by an accomplished Hollywood musician and songwriter whose goal was to allow the average music lover to experience the passion of making music.

Without a doubt, everyone who sees the beamz in person and uses it, absolutely loves it. The beamz was a huge hit this weekend at its first major public event - Celebrity Fight Night. You can find photos of the beamz at the event here.

Jesus, it's easy to knock us for a video you don't like - but I'd rather you see and use the beamz, then give us a fair review based on the merits of the product - not based on whether you like the video.

So, as the PR agency representing the beamz, I am offering you the opportunity to borrow a set of beamz for a product review. Are you willing to do that and give us a fair shot?

Matt Silverman
Director of Public Relations
R&R Partners

And here's my reply:

I wasn't knocking your product because of a video I don't like. I was criticizing your product because I think the concept is flawed from the start, allows for no creativity whatsoever, and because, having played an instrument for a good part of my life, there's no room for expresion in your product. I'm sorry, but it is a technological gimmick, no matter if people have fun or not trying it.

In any case, I will put aside my judgement of the concept and give it a fair test opportunity.

So yes, even if I risk my soul and mental sanity in the process. Hopefully, it will arrive soon—and leave even earlier—but I will give it, like everything else we test, a fair shot.

In the meantime, you can check the completely absurd and grotesque video and leave your opinion here.