Distraught that Google employee Geoff Stearns hasn't gotten a haircut since moving to San Francisco from Brooklyn, his girlfriend has taken her appeal to the public. It seems the young Stearns has become obsessed with mullets, and is having delusions he'll become the next MacGyver — which any San Franciscan will tell you are early signs of the slippery slope that leads straight to Mission-hipsterdom. She's asking for donations for a flight back to New York to get his hair did properly, but I figured Valleywag readers could suggest someplace that will trim it up into something that says "I'm innovative, but I won't cause my new Google overlords any trouble."