The post from The Seven Year Itch, where the fallen star Marilyn Monroe won the world's heart with her dress blowing up around legs.
Researches work up some formulae to predict and measure "the seven year itch" and marriage crisis.
Recently, in view of the high divorce rate in Germany, Ms. Pauli, the mayoress of Felt, Bavaria, made a bold proposal that marriage should be expired after seven years or extended as required. This is aimed to save divorce charges. Althought her proposal remains to be discussed, the idea of "seven year itch" is yet well-known. Half a century ago, the blockbusting film The Seven Year Itch, featuring sexy movie star Marilyn Monroe , has impressed the world with this curse on love and marriage. The term is used to describe the feelings in the relationship, from passion, marriage, to disinterest, fatigue and run-away. Well, does it have any scientific basis?
Marriage Itch
The famous American psychologist, IBM's visiting psychology professor Sternberg came up with the well-known love triangle theory. He argues that love has three basic elements-- intimacy, passion and commitment. As the couple get along longer and their attitudes towards the other changes, the shape and size of the love triangle will be different. The size of the triangle represents the quality and quantity and of love, "the larger the triangle, the richer the love ." Different combinations of three elements in various proportion creats seven types of love. If people achieve the seventh love which fully contains intimacy, passion and commitment, their marriage will tend to be stable. On the contrary, it is possible to confront with such "marriage itch." Gao Tian, a US registered musical therapist and supervisor in muscial therapy from China Central Conservatory described a more vivid picture: marriage is repetition of old model--A (women complain) - B (men explain) - C (women get angry ) - D (men get angry) - E ( woman complain again) - F (men explain again). When marriage is cornered into a vicious circle, it will move towards G (breakup). One year is considered as a cycle. Marriage might fall into crisis if the problems haven't been solved by the 7th year. However, why is the 7th year?
The seven-year itch
"Marriage is a 'social contract'. The 7th year problem is a result of the main concern during the marriage cycle. In a common timetable, the 7th year should be a mature stage for both family and career. When a family with children enters their 7th year, the children has grown up a bit and become independent so that the couple can spare energy to re-examine their marriage. Another reason is that more rising temptation in the modern society are likely to make couples vulnerable to the influence of others. As a resulting, they think they have problems, too. " said Yubo Hou, social psychology professor from Beijing University, to International Herald Tribune. However, Zhenwu Zhai, Dean of Population Faculty from People's University presented another argument to the newspaper. He said, seven is a number more of statistics significance because a greater number break up or divorce in their seventh year. There exists an adaption period after taking a vow. 5 to 10 years are such period which appears relatively risky. Within 7 years, some might think of divorce; but after that, marriage will stay solid.
Solve the itch
Human emotions, being complex, vary from person to person. "Seven year itch" hasn't be cleared up by scientists, but it can be quantified. Researchers on love and marriage conclude ten reasons why the intamacy between couples becomes weakened : (1) spatial separation; (2) new friends replace old ones; (3) gradually dislike some behaviour and characteristics of the spouse; (4) exchange return balance is broken (5) jealousy or criticism; (6) can't tolerate the relationship between the spouse and the third party (7) leak secrets; (8) not offer an hand when needed; (9) not show trustful, positive, supportive behaviours ; (10) the preferences standard of one party changes. Researchers assume each reason is for 2 points. When there are three more reasons coming up, that is over 6 points, two people can easily end up with the "itch of marriage".
According to the divorce trend throughtout the world, human love may be guaranteed for a shorter period, "four-year-itch" being on the horizon . But in any case people are willing to believe that "seven" will no longer be a killer as long as the couple run their family heart and soul.