So you feel like you haven't dated since the Last Supper?
Sweetie, don't make these mistakes and you may survive!
- Men: It may be just a habit, but don't sit across the table from a date at dinner and start playing with the hair in your ears. Resist the temptation. I don't care if you can braid it. It is a fact of life, as men age they lose the hair on their heads and it starts coming out their nose and ears. Try to remember when you are getting ready for the big date, remove the hair that is everywhere on your body where it shouldn't be! Wonderful devices just for this purpose are sold everywhere. Or you can live it up and let the person who cuts your hair do a little snipping on those problem areas. Hair in the nose and ears is not sexy. Trust me on this one.
- Ladies: Leave the tight clothes for Cher and Madonna. You're over 40 and if the statistics are correct, you are back in the dating game, you're over worked and stressed 99% of the time, which leads to throwing your face into a bag of mini Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I speak from first hand experience, I can shovel chocolate in my mouth at record speed. A pudge on J-Lo is cute. You're light years past the cute pudge age. Look on the bright side, you're a survivor. You've taken the devil (your ex-husband) head on and won. Lift your head up and be proud. Trying to dress like Brittany Spears will not help.
- Everybody: Do not greet your date and in the next breath start blabbering about your evil ex-spouse. Not cool. We all know that as soon as you earn the designation of being an “ex” you have now entered the category of being a sub-human slime ball, low life. Yes, we all know that you have the worse ex-whatever in the world. Before you know it, you and your date are trading war stories about how you were “done wrong”. Give it up, move on. You're on a date, stop dragging that luggage of the old life around with you. Believe me, you won't find it attractive in the person you're dating. You don't want to hear about what a disaster his/her spouse was, in fact no one wants to hear it. Moving right along…
- Men: This little tidbit comes from my personal experience. I went on a blind date with a local business owner. He picked me up for dinner in his Mercedes. Ok, not a bad start, at least I didn't think he was an axe murderer. As soon as we were driving to the restaurant he started telling me his very best “fart” jokes and put his hand on my thigh. I don't know what was more disgusting, his idiotic jokes, or putting his hand on my thigh, which I promptly smacked. 15 minutes with this guy and I was hoping an axe murderer would stop the car. Lesson for all, Mercedes does not equal class. I'd have rather ridden with a gentleman in a Ford Pinto.
- Everybody: Turn off the cell phones! You have a real live person in front of you. You don't need a cell phone hanging off the side of your head. No one is counting the number of annoying cell phone calls you receive while in public. We hate them. Yes, it's time some one says it. People yakking loudly on their cell phones are becoming public enemy number one. If you have to check with the baby sitter, excuse yourself, go to the rest room and call home! A date should be adult time, not kid time. Believe it or not, you actually are entitled to an evening out and some fun.
- Everybody: Don't ask your date how much money they make. A man asked me to dance and by the time we got out to the dance floor, he had asked me where I worked, what my title was and my salary. I felt like I was filling out a credit application. Women are guilty as well. I've heard them grilling men, sizing them up to see if they are “husband” material. I've also seen the same men disappear faster than Houdini. We call these women Terminators. They can end a date in a nanosecond.
So, try to kick back, relax and make new friends. Let nature take it's course and don't set up housekeeping together after one date! After all, you are over 40….
