Professor Yu Dan shared this story about porcupines in her lecture on relationship management from
The Analects. This story is called the
Porcupine Philosophy.
A group of porcupines gathered together in deep winter. But they're in a dilemma. What is the best distance to keep between each other? If they're too closely huddled together, they will prick each other. But if they stay too far apart, then they can't keep each other warm. After several trial and error, they finally found an optimum distance where everybody gets to keep warm without pricking each other.
In managing human relationships, it is also necessary to keep an optimum distance between each other. Confucius said 子由曰：“事君数，斯辱矣；朋友数，斯疏矣。” It means that if you are too close to your boss, you are not far from humiliation; and if you are too close to your friend, then you're not far from the day that you drift apart. It is right to be loyal to your boss and work closely with him/her; it is right to open your heart to friends and care for each other, but you must also know when and where to draw the line. 不管是对领导 ,还是对待朋友，要有分寸. The optimum distance that one ought to keep with people is when you can still feel the warmth and care for each other but not end up hurting each other.
Sound advice. Chew on it.