One of the things that really bugs OmegaDad and me is when OmegaDotter doesn’t respond when we say something to her.
Case in point: This afternoon, after putting up still more drapery hardware (the office needs some more drapery rings, because I thought 30 of the darned things would be enough, but, hey, more are on the way and I’ve learned my lesson for the time, ten years from now, that we do this thing again), OmegaDad and I joined the dotter on the futon to watch the last 40 minutes of Karate Kid.
Cool movie. All sorts of Good Stuff about focusing, and working hard to reach your goals, and not using physical prowess to beat up skinny boys, and how you Shouldn’t Cheat, all with a few things slipped in about the effect the Manzanar camps had and the ease with which some folks use racial slurs to put Asians down. I know that there are oodles of Asian Americans out there who get grumpy about Pat Morita being a token Asian whose acting was full of stereotypes, but I actually think the Karate Kid can prompt a lot of good discussion.
("Focus" being one of our latest, not really related to this post. I think. Hmmm.)
Anyway, the dotter was on my lap, waiting for Daniel to do the Crane Kick and beat the Bad Boys.
Daniel does the Crane Kick, the bad boys are beaten, all is well with the world…
I say to the dotter, "Okie doke, up you go!" Happy tone of voice, all ready to jump up and get to work on other weekend projects.
And she sits there. Not a word, not a twitch, no response.
I say again, "Dotter, off the lap, I want to get up!" Still happy, though less so.
And she sits there. Not a word, not a twitch, no response.
We’re talking a minute at a time.
Dudes, I wanted to get up. And I did not want to be ignored. I wanted my lap back, thankyewverramuch. So I got grumpy, announced I was getting up, and dumped the dotter off to the side.
After which ensued a (loud) discussion about how it behooves people in the family to respond when other people in the family talk to them, yadda, yadda, yadda. The dotter sitting and looking sullen, which is her modus operandi when she knows she’s in the wrong. Then a talking-to from daddy. Then she got angry ("I was getting up, it just was taking me a while!"–coulda fooled me, and besides, this "taking a while" can last up to five minutes and was repeated over and over this weekend) and broke the reins to her new poseable stuffed horsie. And then it was waterworks time, complete with a "Mommy, can you fix my reins?"
Oy.
So I ended up sitting down with her, asking her how she would feel if she asked me to stop tickling her and I just kept on doing it, not saying anything, even after she asked me multiple times.
At wits’ end about how to get her to actually think about it, I made her write sentences. "I will answer when Mommy or Daddy asks me a question."
Oy! I felt like a Mean Mommy.
So: Any really good suggestions?