There’s something about summer that just puts parents into Fear Factor Mode. One part is because we have that “Happy Days” image that the next few months will be just plain wonderful -- a lazy, hazy, glorious kind of summer the kids will remember fondly for the rest of their lives. About two weeks into the summer we get hit with a heavy dose of Reality 101: The kids are still around, they expect to be entertained 24-7, the neighborhood has chosen your house as Grand Central, and the schools don’t open for another two months.
I asked you for your most
pressing summer parenting questions, and you delivered!
Watch the TODAY Show tomorrow morning (
Friday, May 30) to see my Summer Parenting segment, where I will answer many of the questions asked here. Maybe I answered yours!
One of the biggest problems parents seem to have is the transition from the scheduled school year to the unscheduled summer free-for-all. Here is one question about that from Kathy.
I have 2 children in grade school. They are so scheduled during the school year that I worry they will go bonkers without all the scheduled activities during the summer. They tend to get very restless and constantly say, "I'm bored!" when there are plenty of things to do at home or around the neighborhood. Any idea of how to keep them occupied and happy without turning myself into a school teacher?
-- Kathy 
What about making it your goal to help your kids learn to enjoy unstructured time? What would they do instead? Well, what about looking at the clouds? Experiencing what grass feels like between their toes? Watching a ladybug fly from flower to flower? Face it, their lives are so pressure-packed with laundry lists that emphasize their intellectual development that I fear many don’t know how to do the greatest skill of all—just enjoy life!
My first bit of advice:
Ease the guilt. Learning to handle unscheduled time is the one lesson most of our kids are flunking. See this summer as an opportunity to help your kids learn those crucial life skills like creative thinking, resourcefulness and problem-solving that you can’t learn when everything is so programmed and supervised.
My second piece of advice:
Reframe how you see your parenting role these next weeks. Your job is not to have to play “social director” all summer long. You can still make this summer fun.
Here are unstructured possibilities that go beyond the usual summertime activities (like camp, soccer practices, sleepovers, scout-a-ramas, art, music, and computer lessons) that may be even more beneficial for our kids.
- Think outside the box (literally). The Smithsonian voted the cardboard box as the absolute best toys – ever. Stock up on them. They’re not only free but also can provide hours of imaginative play. Give your kids marking pens and masking tape and they can make igloos, forts, villages, castles, garages, storefronts and hotels. Give them flashlights and they can turn them into caves. Put sheets over the top of boxes and chairs and there’s a whole new dimension.
- Think hats and costumes. Draw out your children’s singing, dancing, writing, or acting talent and suggest they write, direct and perform plays (for the neighborhood, their family, or certainly grandma and grandpa).
- Think oldie but goodie type games. Check out one great book (like Bobbi Conner’s Unplugged Play) and review all those great outdoor games you did (okay, or your parents did) as kids. Red Rover. Mother May I? Hopscotch. Tag. Buy sidewalk chalk and get your kids to draw on that driveway. Think of this summer as the great play revival!
- Think games. You know you have them. Cards. Clue. Scrabble. Candyland. Chutes and Ladders. Hold Risk championships and Monopoly marathons. Teach your child and his best friend at a sleepover and you’ll start a trend.
- Think arts and crafts. Start looking around your house and stock up and stuff you already have like popsicle sticks, glue, pipe cleaners crayons, paper, scissors, marking pens. Also think of recyclable items like toilet paper tubes, magazines, and newspapers. Or what about carpentry: give out hammer, nails and wood.
- Think hobbies. This is the summer to get your kid excited about one hobby or passion. Support that interest—whatever it is. Guitar. Knitting. Yoga. Drawing. Architecture. Photography. Computer. Macramé. Cooking.
- Think collections. Rocks. Flowers. Bugs. Coins. Stamps. Get your child interested in one type of collection. Anything! If it’s butterflies then just give him the net to catch the butterflies and the board to mount them. Check out a few library books about the subject, which brings me to….
- Think library. Check out books, books-on-tape and videos. Enroll your kid in the summer library program. Make going to the library a weekly event. Get your kids reading for the sheer fun of it (and not always from that required school reading list).
- Think unplugged. Don’t let your child rely on electronic “stuff” to entertain them all summer. Television and video games can be an easy way out for a kid who can’t think of anything to do. I’m not suggesting you go “cold turkey” but consider at least setting limits on daily television or video game watching. Then hold your kids to those limits. Some parents make their kids track their viewing hours (on the honor system) on a paper taped to the side of the TV. Or you can set the timer from your TV’s remote for the total minutes allowed per day. But limit television viewing.
- Think real. The absolute last thing I’m suggesting you do is all this stuff. But why not just trying one new thing this summer? Just one.
And if one of your kids just dares to say, “I’m bored!” tell them you have the perfect solution. It’s a list of household chores that you just happen to have posted on the fridge. I bet you anything they’ll find something to do.
All the best!
Michele Borba
Click here to read more of Michele Borba's Q&As, or leave a comment below with your own questions and it may be answered next week.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of
No More Misbehavin': 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them .