Do you believe in "sensory processing disorder?" My 6 year old is a happy and cooperative kid at home and at school but when he's at violin lessons, he becomes very hyper and uncooperative. I was told he needs occupational therapy because he's "sensory seeking." The OT tested him and agreed. Isn't he just acting up because he doesn't want to be there after a long day at school? This sensory disorder business sounds like a load of hooey to me.
--Judy Barnes
Well, well. I have to start by explaining my background so you know where I’m coming from. I’m a former special education teacher who has taught just about every spectrum disorder there is and had a private counseling center for a while. My doctorate is in educational psychology and counseling and I’ve worked with thousands of parents and their kids. I say all that because I think too often kids these days are “over-labeled” and “over diagnosed.” There are clearly times when children do need labels to help them get the treatment they need so they can survive and thrive. But don't just throw on the label for the label sake. So how do you know when a child does need the label?
I tell parents to use four factors when trying to figure out if a problem is “normal” or too far out and needs some kind of “diagnosis” or “label.” So think about these and your son.
Four Factors To Determine If Your Child Needs a Diagnosis or Label - “The Family Factor”: Is your home life compromised and everyone is walking on eggshells because of this family member?
- “The Struggle Factor”: Is your child’s problem getting in the way of his happiness and ability to function in life?
- “The Gut Instinct Factor”: Do you feel deep down that something is not right with your child?
- “The Duration Factor”: The problem has persisted or even increased over a long period of time and every normal child rearing solutions hasn’t worked. Despite your efforts and your child is suffering and it’s carrying over to different elements of his life.
If you say “Yes” to one or more of these four factors, then it’s time to take this seriously and do something about it.
So add up those factors Mom. None of those four factors are red flags. In fact, you yourself don’t think there’s anything wrong. (I swear the “Mom Gut Instinct Factor “ is the most telling.)
You have a HAPPY kid who is cooperative and from what you say is doing well in other areas of life. Yes? The only thing he isn't happy about is playing the violin--or at least having to play it after a long day of school.
My advice, stick to your instinct. Maybe change instruments? But forego the darn diagnosis. If the problem crops up in other areas and he struggles and changes his cooperative demeanor, then and only then do you worry.
There! Go hug your son. (Sounds like a great kid by the way.)
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Dr. Michele Borba is the author of
Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essentail Virtues That Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing.