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Another great article from Christine at Girltime Coaching.net

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Love Your Body

Halter tops! Skinny shorts! Sleeveless frocks! Not to mention — bathing suits!

Summertime is like the World Series, Super Bowl and World Cup of body anxieties all rolled into one 12-week-long season. How do you cope — by wearing shapeless clothes? Shunning situations where you have to reveal your body? Cringing whenever a camera comes into view? If you answered “yes” to any of the above, you have plenty of company: More than half of all American women dislike their overall appearance, according to a recent survey.

You don’t have to let your shape — or your appraisals of it — run your life. Would you let someone else criticize you the way you criticize yourself? No!

Turning down the volume of your negative inner voice takes time and work, but the results are worth the effort. Overcoming a poor body image frees up a lot of energy that you can put somewhere else. Your body image is really about what’s in your head, not what’s on your hips. It’s not about having a perfect body; it’s about being happy about and proud of what you have. Ready to change your body thoughts? Read on.

Here are six feel-good rules for body confidence:

1. Keep a body-image journal.
This will make you aware of how your body image affects you day by day. You’ll need a notebook with the pages divided into three columns: Activators, Beliefs and Consequences. For at least a week, write down every instance in which you feel distressed about your body, noting the triggering event (or activator); how you interpret the event (your beliefs); and your response, in terms of your emotions and behavior (the consequences). Before you start the diary, improve your skill in recognizing your activators by writing down 10 or more episodes from your recent past. Your inner voice tends to click on in the same sorts of situations.

For instance, trying on a bathing suit in a department store may activate your inner critic, and you may express this belief: “Nothing looks good on me, because of my little breasts and big hips.” The consequence: Frustrated and disgusted, you leave without buying anything and hit the ice cream parlor to soothe your soul.

2. Establish the equal-time rule.
Whenever you notice yourself harping on the body features you don’t like, spend an equal amount of time complimenting yourself on those you do like. It may be hard at first — you probably don’t spend a lot of time contemplating all the things you love about yourself. (If you’re stumped, ask a friend or your spouse to help.)

3. Get intimate with your body.
Familiarity breeds content. The part of the body always rated highest by women is the face, which is interesting because we’re not all cover-girl material. Women get used to and become more accepting of their faces because we’re always looking at them. So, three or four times a week, spend a few minutes perusing your naked body in a mirror. If you can’t bear to look at your whole body, use a pocket mirror to focus on small areas. Try describing (”My thighs are muscular”) rather than judging (”My thighs are huge and ugly”).

4. Ration requests for reassurance.
Do you often ask friends or loved ones how you look? The more often you ask, the more insecure you feel, especially if you begin to sense your companion’s annoyance. This need for reassurance is part of what he calls appearance-preoccupied rituals — which include constantly weighing yourself, checking yourself out in every mirror and compulsively comparing yourself to every other woman in the room. To reduce interference from these rituals, resolve to limit them to a certain number in a given time. For instance, if you’re on the way to the beach, promise yourself that you’ll ask your husband only twice if you look fat. (The ultimate goal is to eliminate the ritual.)

5. Seek out sensual experiences.
Your body is so much more than a vessel. By focusing on how your body functions, you can redefine your body image. Do something that gives you physical pleasure every day: Slowly drink something very cold on a hot day, put a soothing lotion all over your body, teach your partner to touch you some new way, go swimming in a lake, play hopscotch, spend an afternoon listening to your favorite music.

6. Quit complaining.
Kvetching together about looks (or flaws) is a bonding experience for women, but it only serves to reinforce our unhappiness. Our cultural obsession with the runway model — young, tall and underweight — certainly leaves out a lot of other body types. Make a pact to stop body-bashing and start appreciating each other’s abilities, minds, talents, wit.

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