Readers: 0 | Updated: 2008

Sell That Shit!

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A little old lady got a huge shock when she took a painting to be appraised on PBS' "Antiques Roadshow" in Palm Springs, CA. The memaw was given a 1937 painting by artist Clyfford Still as a housewarming gift by a friend almost 50 years ago. The friend was a student of Still's. Well, the painting turned out to be the best fucking housewarming gift ever, because it was appraised at $500,000!!! Memaw won the lottery! You know she did the Cabbage Patch when she found out.

The painting is the most expensive piece every appraised on the American version of the show.

Alasdair Nichol, the dude who appraised it, said it could be worth a lot more. Recently, a painting Still created 10 years later was sold at auction for $21 million. Oh hell no. I'm going to go through my mom's garage, rent a U-Haul and take everything down to the "Antiques Roadshow" to get appraised. My old ass Snoopy Sno-Cone machine has to be worth something.

The show's producer told The NY Post, "Clearly, the woman who brought this to us knew she had something special. She just didn't know how special it was."

That memaw better have called up the damn A-Team when she was told how much that shit is worth. Thieves were probably waiting to pounce on it! Damn. If I was there, I'd leave a trail of caramel squares from the venue to my car trunk. You know that memaw would fall for it! Then I'd snatch that treasure out of her hands and drive off! Well, she'd have a bunch of caramel squares and memaws love those things!

The $500,000 episode will air on PBS in January.

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