Positive anger? Yeah right. When I am pissed at someone, it clearly is not a positive vibe and I am definitely not in the mood to bail on my principles simply to make peace. Right? Are you with me??

Well, as stubborn as you may be, there may be another way out of this. I'd like to mention a short story narrated by Tushar Gandhi, who is a great-grandson of Mahatma Gandhi. Yes, this is the Gandhi, the most prominent leader of the Indian freedom struggle and known as 'Father of the nation' in India. I read this story in a newspaper sometime back, so I'll try and recollect the main part of the story.

The story goes like this -

One day Tushar's father (Mahatma Gandhi's son) had to attend a conference in the city and asked him if he could drive him to the city, which was about 20 miles away. Tushar agreed and as per the plan, during the 2 hours when his father will be busy, Tushar will take the car to the service station and get a routine check-up. However, since Tushar was young and restless (he was 18 at that time), he instead decided to go and watch a movie and hence was 3 hours late.

When his father asked him why he was late, Tushar lied and said that the car repair took a lot of time. Eventually he confessed but his father was very disappointed and angry. Dumbfounded at how this could have happened, his father walked 20 miles to get home. On the way, he pondered where he went wrong with Tushar's upbringing. Tushar was dumbfounded at this decision of his father. Instead of punishing his son, he decided to punish himself for his son's error in judgment. This incident had a profound impact on Tushar and he never lied again.

In the above story, we could see that Tushar's father was definitely angry with his son but instead of bursting out and yelling at him, he decided to be calm and follow a non-violent method to vent his anger. At the same time he made his son realize his mistake. This is what we might call "positive anger"- anger that has a positive effect.

Anger is a natural phenomenon and suppressing that may not be a good solution always. Instead we can practice such positive anger in our life through these tips:

Practice Patience
Patience is the foundation of positive anger. An impatient person is sure to lose his cool in such situations. Hence you should practice patience (yes, believe me or not, it can be practiced!) through meditation and observing others who are more patient than you.

Reason before Action
Any step taken in haste is bound to produce unwanted consequences. In the story, if Tushar's father would have started shouting at him then the corresponding impact would have probably lasted on Tushar for a short term and he would have never narrated this story. Hence before you take any action, think, reason and then decide, even when you are very angry.

Breathe, breathe and breathe
If you really cannot control your anger and just want to shout, then wait and instead of doing that, start taking deep, long breaths. Yes, this is a common technique used to control anger and get the blood flowing in your brain and its usually very effective.

Celebrate Life
You should embrace trouble as a part of life and instead of loosing your cool in such situations, work with a calm mind towards a resolution. When you do resolve it, celebrate your success. Yes, celebrate those small moments of cheer and happiness and be thankful for having such a wonderful life!

Hence, anger, if " practiced " in the right manner can have a profound and a very positive impact on your life thereby taking care of a lot of further troubles which could arise out of anger. It is said- ' Anger is the worst enemy of man'....why not make it a friend :)

Cheers,

Abhijeet