After the huge success of Vanessa’s previous article 4 Ways to Destress Your Teenager I asked Vanessa to write a post sharing her thoughts as to what the top three fears facing our teenagers today are.
Luciana Nechita
Vanessa, gladly accepted my request and went off to ask a bunch of her teen friends and groups what they worry about and here’s what her research reveals.
She has deliberately kept the post short to make it direct and welcomes your questions and comments. Thanks Vanessa.
1: Fear of Failing:
I know, sometimes we act like we don’t care. We act like getting a C on a test is no big deal, but usually this is a cover. We want to succeed and do well just as much as you want us to. We fear failing on an academic level, in our relationships, in our friendships and even on home projects. I think as a teen, our self-esteem and self-confidence are extremely delicate, so when we fail it is a real blow and we cannot recover as quickly as most adults.
2: Fear of Disappointing You:
Yup, parents put a lot of pressure on us. Whenever I did badly on tests, I had to not only deal with my own disappointment of not doing well, but then announcing it to my parents and dealing with their anger/ disappointment/ punishment—its really rough. We also know that if you do not like our boyfriend/girlfriend, set of friends or art project we also hear about it. If you do not like something we do, it feels like you do not like a part of us—and that is something we fear.
3: Fear of Being Misunderstood:
I mean this on many levels. Many of the teens I asked, said they feared friends not liking an outfit or the way they looked. They feared someone defacing their Facebook page and having gossip spread at school. They feared their parents over-reacting and freaking out about something they did. I call this fear of being misunderstood because, as teens, everything we do is about experimenting with our image, identity and persona. We want to perfectly portray who we are…yet, we do not even know that ourselves!
I think that parents can address these fears head-on with their kids. Ask them what they fear, bring these fears up—even if they disagree with my list…at least they are talking to you about a deep subject!
Vanessa Van Petten is the teen author of the book “You’re Grounded!”—a parenting book from a young perspective. She keeps an active blog for parents who want to know what their kids are really doing onlinhe, at High School parties or when parents are looking the other way. Her candid and young perspective, as well her constant survey of resources and updates about this generation of young people are a treasure trove for parents.