 There's been a veritable outbreak, as of late, of leaked sex tapes and nude pics from a cornucopia of celebs. The released-without-consent sex tape is now officially a rite of passage for every young starlet and aging once-famous dude. And the Lohan/Monroe nude-photo extravaganza has proved what young female celebs have always told themselves: it's OK to be naked as long as it's classy or serious. What does it all mean? Is the sex tape/naked pic a career-starter or career-killer? And, more importantly, do we want? We explain the rules!
 Paris Hilton/Rick Solomon: The prototype of a sex tape as a logical part of a career trajectory. Her older scumbag ex-boyfriend Rick Salomon sold their video without her consent. So what! She got a lawyer to get her a cut of the sales. The video is filmed in night vision with an out-of-it looking Hilton. But she's even more famous-er now, and Salomon is only famous for divorcing Shannon Doherty and marrying Pam Anderson. Paris wins!  Lindsay Lohan: as for nude pictorials, here's the general rule of thumb: half-naked in Maxim? Trashy. Naked in Playboy? Trashy and whorish. However: naked while channeling Marilyn Monroe in New York magazine? That's OK because it's art. Get it? While the NYT rightly criticized the Lohan shots for looking "available for sale," she's basically above reproach. (See also: Vanity Fair or foreign art-y magazines).  This is also why Oscar-winning actress Marion Cotillard is exempt, even when she is getting naked all the time for sex scenesin films. Whatever, she's French! It's OK to be naked over there; they don't analyze it.  Diablo Cody: As for the recent spate of naked pics of Oscar-winning screenwriter (and former nude dancing girl), well, all those naked pics came from her very own blog! Diablo is in a different category: she doesn't give a fuck.
 Kim Kardashian: Playboy spread, subsequent sex tape. See, this doesn't really work, Kim. Playboy is trashy, and it looks like you're just trying to copy your celeb friends in hopes of becoming one. If they all jumped off a bridge, would you, too?
 Amy Fisher: the aging Long Island Lolita's weird boyfriend released their sex tape. She tried really hard to make the release of her amateur nonconsensual pornography work for her. But she was understandably conflicted about it. It's not like she's a fameball anymore, so this scandal can't really be milked to some larger end.  Gene Simmons, Fred Durst, Dustin "Screech" Diamond: On the male side, the sex vids tend to be formerly or semi-famous duds that you don't really want to see en flagrante delicto. Other than a few minutes of notoriety--which could have been gained just as easily as plowing your Mercedes into a retaining wall--what did the sex tapes gain these gentlemen? Pretty much nothing. Do not want!   
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