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Heinz Pulls Mayonnaise Ad Over Gay Kiss Furor, Yet Leaves Mayonnaise, Which Is Gross, On Market

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Condiment manufacturer Heinz has pulled the following commercial from airwaves after it sparked outrage from conservatives like Bill O'Reilly over its depiction of two men kissing each other on the lips. While I understand that Heinz might have succumbed to pressure from people who think physical intimacy between men - no matter how harmless and lamely presented it may be - is a disgusting abomination before God, but what's really repulsive is the creamy, congealed white substance that man is wantonly rubbing all over perfectly good sandwiches, several of which are being served to children. Children, people - poor innocent children forced by this sick culture of ours to eat mayonnaise, which we ALL KNOW is gross and disgusting and wrong. I mean, it says it in the Bible. Does anyone remember Jesus turning Mustard into Mayo, or serving an entire army with some loaves of bread, a couple fish and side of Mayonnaise? No, because God Hates Mayonnaise, and so should you.


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