Timid,The Eight Years of George.Bush

By TangYong

《Youth Tabloid·Color Edition》2009,The First“The World is A Ball”

May 23rd,2004,Texas,the face of Bush,after fell down from a bicycle.

    George.Bush is leaving, in January, 2009. This is a man who gives you appetite. Eating and watching CCTV News,lots of families in China still keep the habit today,and among all the persons that appear after 7:25,Bush always sends a surprise, which is a good present after a boring day of work.He choked to a faint while eating biscuit, tumbled while riding a bike, dressed out of form in a colorful shirt while appearing on international conference, and took photograph while embracing a rabbit doll.

    ……

    There was a time I almost believe that he is the one, chosed by American people, to entertain us, but that's not true.

    After all, he is the president of the United States.

No one marries Uncle Bush

May 7th,2007, south lawn of White House, Bush looked like flashing his eyes at the Queen.。

    If we wanna describe Bush's style in just one word,"qie(Chinese, timid,cowardly,nervous)" may be the most appropriate one.

    In Chinese,，"qie" means “ tacky, unseasonable, except for timid.

    Grew up in Texas, Bush is always considered by elite medias as a rube with a western accent. Whenever the TV programme talks about international topics with Bush, the audience rating raises rapidly. Everyone wants to see the person who will probably be the next president of the U.S.A, showing his timidity in front of TV.。

    November 3rd,2000, in a TV station in Boston, the programme host, Andy Shearer, took by surprise, "Do you know who is the president of Chechen Republic of Russia?"

    Bush found that it was not in his prepared material.

    "I don't know, do you know who it is?" he got an agile wit.

    "Who is the general in charge of Pakistan?" Andy.Shearer asked again.

    "Seems like it has just been elected......” Bush faltered.

    "The premier of India?"

    "I still don't know" Bush said, "Then,can you tell me the name of the foreign minister of Mexico?"

    "I don't know, I don't run for president." Shearer said.

    "But you are a famous journalist, you don't know that, then you are not qualified. But are you unqualified? Everybody knows you are a qualified journalist, you can't use these stuffs(knowledges) as a yardstick." Bush fought back.

    The interview was seized by Bush's opponent, the campaign of Gore, Democratic candidate at that time. Gore has been vice president for 8 years, he knew everyone of the leaders of these important conturies.

    Bush's campaign palliated:"99.9% of American people and most candidates don't know these names."

    Unfortunately, people compare a candidate only with another candidate.The standard for Bush can never be the same thing for a big uncle in Texas.

    2005年，In 2005, Bush received the beautiful young British singer Charlotte.Church, and asked her:"Which state is Wales in?", "Idiot", Charlotte cursed inside. Bush didn't even know that Wales is in Britain.

    The transcripts of George.Bush.Junior in college shows except that he got B in anthropology, history and philosophy, he was in C or D level generally, so it's not weird that he didn't know where Wales is.

    There is a ballad, 《To Marry A Man Like Putin》, sang by Russian girls, no girls will marry queer Uncle Bush.

Gloomy, since childhood

April 25th, 2007, Washington, Bush was learning African dance, looked like a chimpanzee.

    Bush was never a happy child, his life in middle school was totally under the influence of his perfect daddy - a black-and-white photograph of his father hanged in the school aisle, who was a top student, the captain of school baseball team, president of student union.

    Senior Bush had no time for family, but had high standard for his children. Further more, Barbara, Junior Bush's mother is also a rigorous woman.

    Junior Bush has a sister Robin, 4 years younger than him. When he was 7 years old, Robin died of leukaemia. He was so sad that he wrote a composition to memorize her. When he read this to his mother, she said the word "tears" was repeated for thousands of times, too redundant, and he committed too many solecisms. So at last Junior Bush changed the word "tears" with "the lacerates ran down my cheeks".

    Since then, Junior Bush got a problem - until now, he can't tell the difference between singular and plural, "is" and "are".

    He was gloomy and suffered until his 30s, and was also a playboy. Got drunk and threw up, drove and crashed, these things consisted Junior Bush's life once.

    After he got MBA, married and grew up, he slowly turned around. In 1988, Junior Bush was 42, he entered his father's campaign as a counsellor.

Unfortunate 8 years

March 24th,2008, in Easter Egg Roll held in the White house, Bush embracing the "rabbit".

    Bush's victory of the presidential election was quite dramatic. In the election in 2000, Bush almost lost the game in the intraparty election to Mc Cain, and then struggled with Gore, and won fainty.

    Being president for just half a year, in September 11th, 2001, America was attacke by terrorists. The message was sent to Bush immediately, but at that time he was reading a text for the students in a primary school. The documentary 《Fahrenheit 9/11》 criticized harshly at Bush's reaction:Bush kept a poker face, tapping the desk again and again. Just as he was dumbfounded, the World Trade Center was hit for the second time. Bush fled by air, then hide underground until appeared on TV in the evening. He decided to revenge.

    In October 7th, 2001, the Coalition Forces of the U.S.A and Britain attacked Afghanistan, the Taliban regime which has lots of communications with Al Qaida, was destroyed.

    In March 20th, 2003, the Coalition Forces attacked Iraq, and by May Bagdad was seized. The war was unexpected fast.

    When someone queried that Saddam might not have mass destruction weapons, why still fight? Bush said something wrong:"He wants to kill my dad."

    Many elites were quite worried about Bush's favor for military, they feared that America would violate civil rights in the name of anti-terrorism, and finally became an authoritarian country.Besides, the costs of war made American burdened.

    From the beginning Bush luckily received a rich treasury from his predecessor Clinton, now he left with an once-in-century economic crisis to the next president.

Muddy EStar

October 30th, 2008, graduation ceremony of FBI trainees, Bush posed as a boxer.

    Bush has a scent of mud in diplomatic activities.

    He would carelessly beg that "get me some Olympic Game tickets of the USA Dream Team Eight", when met with HuJintao, Chairman of China, and would also receive MR and MRS Putin in a pasture in the countryside. The romantic French premier Sarkozy's adulation made Merkel angry, but Bush gets along well with her.

    The 8 years of Bush as the president is a period during which Internet has been superfast developed.Through the informationization, lots of Chinese people know that Bush often says things wrongly, always pulls a boner, and he has no son but two daughters.In the crosstalk of GuoDegang, Bush is figured as a stingy boniface, speaks in the dialect of Henan(because his private tutor is from Henan).In 《Birdcage Hill》 of HuGe, Bush speaks in Hunan accent. In America, the big shadow of war and economic crisis never stops people's laughter when they see Bush, all kinds of spoofs were applied to him: he reached out his salty pig feet to the British prime minister Tony.Blair, his heads were collected and consisted a set of poker cards, he was sometimes the queen, sometimes a hippy, sometimes Monalisa, and sometimes a chimpanzee......

    Films also endowed Bush with many images. For example, in the American TV play 《That's My Bush》, he is a unstrung hilarious character; in the film 《Silver City》, he is a cunning schemer; but in the British Film 《Death of A President》, they made Bush got shot with 2 bullets in head.

    During the presidential election in 2004, the film <Fahrenheit 9/11> tried its best to lampoon Bush, yet won a Golden Palm in Cannes Film Festival.

    After losing Bush, what a big loss it would be for American entertainment industry.

Bush and his pet dog Barney who may be the luckiest dog in the world, travelling all around the earth with his owner.