In a legislative movie whose brilliance may even surpass the famed
Johnnie Cochran Chewbacca Defense,
R. Kelly's evil genius lawyer used the
Wayans Brothers mediocri-comedy classic
Little Man to illustrate how his client may not have actually appeared in the child-porn sex tape in question. As we all remember, the remarkable special effects that allowed us to suspend our disbelief that
Marlon Wayans' head could realistically exist on the body of a tiny baby could also have been employed by just about any garden-variety special effects professional who had an axe to grind with R (and who at Industrial Light and Magic
doesn't hate the guy?). Sayeth the defense (via
/Film):
[R. Kelly’s attorney], in an attempt to suggest that Kelly’s head could have been superimposed onto somebody else’s body in the sex tape, asked [gal on witness stand] whether she had seen the Wayans brothers’ movie “Little Man.” [Attorney] said, “They put the head of Marlon Wayans on a midget and it looked real, didn’t it?” But, to widespead laughter, [gal on witness stand] replied, “Not really!”
"Not really"!?! Are you telling me that WASN'T a hilarious baby who just so happened to look like Marlon Wayans!?!? If those Hollywood video wizards are capable of such highly sophisticated forms of visual trickery, just what can we accept about the nature of our own reality? Is ANYTHING we see even real? There is no spoon, and of course R. Kelly didn't have sex with an underage girl - for all we know, that could have just been heavily manipulated video of a walrus playing volleyball with
Al Roker on a trampoline.