Bizarre and Dirty Jobs

No matter how weary you grow of your job, there will always be one that you won’t envy and make you respect the normal job that you have. Before you say, “I’m willing to do anything to get out of this job,” consider these that you won’t typically find in the Classified Ads. And the next time you shrink from that dreaded buzzing of the morning alarm, be grateful you don’t have to work at any of the following bizarre and dirty jobs and take solace in the fact.

Armpit Sniffer
Works for companies that make deodorant.

Photo Tempestually

Barker
Attempts to attract patrons to entertainment by exhorting passing public, shouting out attractions of the show to incite listeners to attend.

Barnyard Masturbator
A researcher who collects semen for insemination purposes. They might ram an electric probe up an animal’s rectum, shove an artificial vagina onto the animal’s penis, or simply do it the old-fashioned way — manual stimulation. The first option, electroejaculation, uses a priapic rectal probe to send electricity pulsing through the animal’s nether regions and generally requires anesthetizing the animal. The AV — a large latex tube coated with warm lubricant — is used primarily to get sperm from dairy bulls.

Breath Odor Evaluator
Odor judges smell nasty morning breath or breath ‘insulted’ with strong scents like garlic and rate the breath on a scale from 1 to 9. To test odor-reducing products like gum or mouthwash, they smell the breath again and assign it a new rating.

Brain Picker
Trims meat, glands, and organs from carcass heads for use in making meat products or processing for medicinal use or byproducts. Removes brains, pituitary gland, and other parts, and places them in separate trays.

Chicken Sexer
Sorts through baby chicks to determine if they’re male or female, and then segregates them. The chicken sexer puts the chicken hatchlings on the appropriate track, enabling them to receive optimal nourishment for their likely commercial role from an early age.

Photo Nature Lover

Chicken Dresser
Slaughters and dresses fowl in preparation for marketing, performing any combination of following tasks … chops off bird’s head or slits the bird’s throat to slaughter it with a knife. The bird is hung by the feet to drain blood. They’re then either dipped into scalding water to loosen feathers for removal or plucked by hand.

Carcass Cleaner
Clean corpses for display by immersing the body in boiling chemicals, placing maggots or beetles on the carcass, or picking off the leftover flesh. The boiling method can induce putrid and sometimes harmful gases if inhaled.

Dog Sniffer
Analyzes the odor of dog’s breath to test the effect of their diet on their teeth. Breath is graded on a scale of 0 to 10 and categorized as sweaty, salty, musty, fungal or decaying.

Photo Er!ck

Diener
Prepare corpses for the pathologist before autopsies are performed in hospitals.

Dysentery Stool-Sample Analyzer
One who spends their working hours opening sloppy stool canisters and analyzing feces from the diseases victims of diarrhea and dysentery suffer from, analyzing their contents in order to test the effectiveness of the company’s kits. The analysis allows these scientists to develop intestinal diagnostics to ease those suffering from the disease.

Egg Smeller
Smells eggs after they’re broken open to check for spoilage, and separates yolks and whites of eggs for use in food products.

Photo Kalimistuk

Flatulence Odor Judge
Gastroenterologist Michael Levitt recently hired 2 brave souls to indulge repeatedly in the odors of other people’s farts. Sixteen healthy subjects volunteered to eat pinto beans and insert small plastic collection tubes into their anuses.

After each ‘episode of flatulence,’ Levitt syringed the gas into a container, while maintaining fart integrity. The odor judges then sat down with at least 100 samples, opened the caps one at a time and inhaled, rating just how noxious the smell was. The samples were also chemically analyzed, and Levitt determined the most malodorous component of the human flatus — hydrogen sulfide.

Flatulence Smell-reduction Underwear Maker
Create underwear that protect against bad human gas for people who suffer from gastrointestinal problems. The underwear is made with various materials and filters to help remedy hydrogen sulfide gases.

Photo Ricko

Foley Artist
Uses whatever they can find to create and record the noises used to make the sound effects in films and commercials such as heavy footsteps, rolling thunder and creaking doors.

Gastroenterologist
A specialist in intestinal gas who determines potentially critical medical symptoms by the smell of what his research subjects expel in their flatus.

Gold Reclaimer
Scour old teeth for fillings, melting the gold from them with broken gold jewelry into tiny gold pellets which is then re-sold to jewelers.

Golf Ball Diver
Of the billion or so golf balls produced each year, it’s estimated that as many as 1 to 3 million find their way into water hazards that plague everyday golfers in the U.S. Ball divers call them ‘white gold,’ and the good ones — those who can come up with 3,000 and more balls in a day — can make $50,000 to $100,000 a year, according to some estimates.

There is money to be made, but there are also obvious hazards — visibility is zero and ball divers have to comb the mucky bottom with bare hands and there is no telling what they might find there.

Gum Buster
That sticky mess doesn’t just disappear, so who ya gonna call? GumBusters. A gum buster scrapes it off using a special steaming tool that removes gum stuck to various surfaces. The company eliminates most gum from sidewalks and facilities.

Photo GumBusters

Hair Boiler
It sounds like a B rated horror movie. This fortunate person gets to boil various kinds of animal hair until it curls for later use. They turn valves to admit water and steam into vats and drain water from the vats after the hair is boiled. We know that burning hair smells terrible — imagine the aroma of hair boil soup all day, shudder.

Hazardous Waste Cleanup Crew
Clean up chemical spills, sewage, mold asbestos, and also called in by police to clean up crime scenes. Scraping the blood off the sidewalk after a homicide doesn’t exactly sound like a fun day at work.

Knife-Thrower’s Assistant
Most job applicants would consider calling the police if an interviewer asked them to stand still and have knives thrown at them. It involves a considerable degree of bravery on the part who perform as a knife thrower’s target assistant who so faithfully put their fate in the hands of such throwers.

Photo Brett M BC

Manure Inspector
Wade through farming manure, inspecting different kinds of animal waste to make sure it’s free from contaminants. By checking the manure, these scientists make sure that the harmful materials do not spread to infect vegetation, animals or consumers.

Ocularist
Paints artificial eyes.

Orangutan Pee Collector
Collect and analyze ape urine to study factors that effect their reproduction. The work involves tracking down apes and laying down large plastic sheets or attaching plastic bags to poles in hopes of catching adequate samples to analyze.

Paper Towel Sniffer
Paper towel manufacturers prefer their products to be odorless before, during and after their use. Paper towel sniffers ensure that once a paper towel is used, there’s no noticeable scent.

Porta-potty Servicer
Service workers clean these single-stall facilities to achieve certain standards of sanitation.

Photo Nancy.

Safe Cracker
When combinations are lost or forgotten, safe crackers use their ears and fingers to open the safe.

Semen Washer
Take semen samples under microscopic observation to study their sperm count, then spin, separate, add preservatives and freeze the samples for in vitro fertilization.

Snake Venom Collector
Extract the venom from snakes, holding the snake behind its head and putting pressure on it, which forces the mouth to stay open. The thumb is then placed on the roof of its mouth and pressed, and the venom flows down into a glass beaker.

Tampon Tester
Check all sizes of tampons for absorbency and cord strength in accordance with FDA standards. Most testers check up to 125 pieces per day.

Worm Picker
Some people earn ‘big money’ from harvesting worms, and some earn a lot of money thanks to the actions of worms. Estimates that a good worm picker can earn are as much as $300 per night, based on a price of $24 per 1000 worms.

Sources: Career Planner, Travel Golf, Nature North and Medicine Net