Happy Patriot's Day! Oh, wait, we're not in Boston? So you mean we can't start drinking now and go stand outside and watch the marathon runners zip by, happy that it's spring and that the wintry gray city finally looks bright again? Oh, that's too bad. I guess I'll just have to stumble along instead, chasing the answers to these blind items around and around, forever and ever. Much like Charlie on the MBTA. First up, we have a story from Jo Piazza about your favorite low-ceilinged smoke hut, the Beatrice Inn: "Which starlet left a black lace thong draped over the back of the toilet seat at the Beatrice Inn last week for the next patron to find, then went commando for the rest of the night?" Five more (!) items after the jump. Those of you who are in Boston on this wonderful day (especially those of you who may go to a certain Jesuit university along Commonwealth Avenue): you really should not be reading this. Go outside! Get drunk first. But then, go outside!
"Which weekly glossy just signed a mega-million-dollar contract with a certain annoying celebrity couple? The deal is the magazine will get exclusive interviews with the couple, but in turn they need to break up (again), get back together (again) and actually get married." [Jo Piazza]"Which NYC lawyer is in the process of negotiating immunity deals for a number of ladies who also will claim that they had sex-for-cash with that fallen great man? They hope to make even more cash by parlaying the exposure into a paying spread in a flesh magazine." [Gatecrasher]"Which nightmare celeb called an 'urgent' 2am meeting in her office - then told one of the girls to go home because she was too pretty?" [Mirror]"This B+ film actor who has been the star of some of the biggest films of all time had to have his stomach pumped this past week after he was found in his overseas hotel room unconscious. Seems he took too many pills from his growing collection." [Crazy Days and Nights]"Where oh where has the A list film star been hiding? Well he needs to go to rehab but doesn't want to ruin his good guy image. So, he has been hiding out at a home he owns which he has turned into his own personal rehab facility complete with counselor and doctor." [Crazy Days and Nights] 
