Readers: 29 | Updated: 2008

An open letter to baby pokers [Inside Fatherhood]

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Dear world,

I completely understand how cute babies are and that the mere sight of their angelic little faces beg for interaction, but please, think before ever touching my kid. You should not at any point ever run up to a sleeping baby, especially mine, and coo loudly while playing with his hands, rubbing his face, tickling his stomach or engaging in any other form of physical contact. If you think that’s appropriate, leave me your phone number and I will call you at 3 AM and wake you up to tell you how cute you are.

Now let me ask you this, if I met you at a party and within moments started rubbing your lips with my fingers, would you consider that appropriate? No? How about if you woke from a sound sleep to find a stranger touching your mouth, that’s pretty good arrest fodder, right? Then don’t touch my kid!

I don’t mean to sound rude but care little if I do. I am more than happy to share my child with you when appropriate, I just don’t think it’s right to run up on any baby, especially sleeping ones and rub your dirty little hands all over him.

This was a good talk.

Thanks,

Bill

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