Staying together as a family takes a new set of communication skills, particularly during the teen years. Envisioning your family's plan is the first step.
School, sports and a variety of other extracurricular interests challenge a family’s ability to stay connected during the school year. Before the back-to-school routine begins to take hold think about how you would like your family to be this year. How often does everyone come together to share a meal, enjoy a weekend afternoon, or share a conversation? With a clear picture of how you would like your family to be the path to realizing this ideal becomes clearer.
Soliciting participation and support for the home team takes time and an ongoing effort. The “Picture, Plan and Promote” strategy can be a powerful way to bring family members together in a way that benefits everyone.
- Picture. Take 5-minutes to recall the events that bring your family together in meaningful ways. Sharing a meal, enjoying a movie and family trips garner the top spots on many lists.
- Plan. With a list of potentially engaging activities find the family calendar and look for opportunities to designate as “family time”. Plotting a date on the calendar increases the possibility of going to the beach, sharing a picnic or taking a weekend excursion ten-fold.
- Promote. If spending time together as a family has not been a regular part of the weekly routine there may be some apprehension or, in some cases, strong opposition to planned family gatherings. By including everyone in the planning process, family time becomes a group effort where everyone has something invested. In the Moran family everyone is responsible for preparing one part of the weekly family dinner. “Our six-year-old likes making ice cream sundaes, so dessert is usually his contribution. Julie, our thirteen-year-old typically opts for an original creation of vegetables or fruit. Sharing dinner together as a family keeps us talking and working together.” – Dee Moran
Using the “Picture, Plan and Promote” strategy creates an initial boost of energy and motivation among family members that can launch the home team forward in September. Maintaining excitement over the long haul can be more difficult.
Sustained momentum takes ongoing effort in the form of consistent communication among family members. The weekly check-in, different from a family meeting is a great routine to begin at the start of the school year. When families become accustomed to regular and frequent communication they can step away from the scheduled approach that a weekly check-in promotes.
Varying the venue also helps families come together. Search for new and engaging activities and environments for your family to explore this year that will bring new life to family gatherings, and above all keep fun at the heart of your interactions.
译文:
三步计划，与家人团聚更容易
与家人保持良好关系需要一系列新的沟通技巧，尤其是在您的小孩十几岁的时候。
第一步就是要想象一下你的家庭计划。
学校、运动以及很多其他业余爱好能够考察，一个家庭是否具备在学期中保持良好关系的能力。在常规的返校开始之前，先考虑一下你希望今年你的家庭变成什么样。大家多久聚餐一次，一起享受一个周末的午后，或者一起聊聊天？你可以清楚的知道你希望家人如何走下去，并且对理想状态更清晰。
请求家人的参与和支持需要时间和持续不断的努力。“描绘蓝图、计划并推广”的战略可以是一个让家人聚到一起并让每个人都受益的有利方法。
描绘蓝图。用五分钟想想有什么事让你的家人以恰当的理由聚在一起。很多人都会先列出这些：如一起吃顿饭，看场电影或以家庭旅行等等。计划。家庭日历上面会列出一些可能会参与的活动，并寻找机会指定出“家庭时间”。在日历上标记出具体日期将增加10倍去海滩、野餐或周末远足的机会。推广。如果全家人不能每周固定有时间在一起，可能需要一些体谅，或者在某些情况下，强烈反对事先计划好的家庭聚会。如果将计划过程中的每个人都包括在内，家庭时间就需要所有人共同努力，每个人都需要投入。在墨兰家，每个人都负责准备每周家庭晚宴的一部分。“我们6岁的孩子喜欢做圣代冰激凌，所以饭后甜点一般都是他来贡献。13岁的朱莉喜欢保留蔬菜或水果的原状。全家人聚餐让我们可以一起聊天，一起准备饭菜。”——迪·墨兰
使用“描绘蓝图、计划并推广”的战略在家庭成员之间创造精力和动机的原动力，这可以让全家人的动力一直保持到九月。在这么长时间假期时间一直保持兴奋可不是一件容易的事情。
保持动力需要不断的努力在家人之间保持沟通。在学期开始的时候，每周都聚一次，而不是以家庭会议的形式——这是一种很好的常规活动。当家庭成员之间对定期的及时交流习以为常的时候，他们就可以不必每周安排聚会了。
改变地点也可以让家人聚在一起。今年寻找新的可参与的活动以及环境，让你的家人去探索，这可以为家庭聚会带来新的生机，以上种种让你们的互动保持乐趣。