The curse of the 21st century is that we spend our time trying to succeed in everything at once - work, our significant relationship, family, exercise, friendships, keeping the perfect house, the perfect garden…
No matter how hard I try I never succeed at everything. If I work hard I don’t have time to walk my dog. Go out with friends? I need to clean the house. Create some art? It never happens. Is this exhausting perfectionism really what is meant by a work-life balance? Can we really do it all?
When I am busy at work I just don’t have the head space or emotional energy to cope with doing anything else. If I put more effort into my personal life I find being at work such a bore. I want to be out doing all those fun things that matter to me personally, not being stuck at work. Instead of neatly balanced, my work-life scales are swinging wildly.
One day I read over my journal entries for the past 6 months. I was horrified to read that the first thing I wrote every single day was, “I’m tired”. I realized the toll that trying to do it all was having on me: I was exhausted, boring and definitely not succeeding at anything. I decided there had to be a better way. After some trial and error my scales have settled into more of a gentle sway.
A New Take on Work-Life Balance
1. Balance Your Month, Not Your Day
There really aren’t enough hours in the day for everything, but perhaps you can balance your work and life if you widen your timeframe. Think about all the things that are important to you and how many hours you work each day. Can you really do it all? If I took the work-life balance literally then I’d have to call my sister and my Mum, go to lunch with my best friend, exercise, draw, sew, garden, walk my dog, spend quality time with my husband, work 7 hours, commute for 2, cook and meditate all in one day. No wonder I’m tired!
It’s simply not possible to do it all and I fail at everything if I try. So now I try to achieve balance over a month and I try to be flexible. Basically I cut myself some slack. At times when work is really frantic I bump some items off my to do list and allow myself to spend the evenings relaxing, maybe read a little or soak in a bath. When work eases off then I have the energy to go out, to create and give to others.
2. Make Conscious Choices
If you are going to take a longer-term view of balance you need to be consciously aware of what’s happening in your life. Accepting that work is frantic at the moment is great, as long as you notice when you can ease off. Working long hours can be seductive and you can easily fall into a pattern of always being busy and never taking time for your life. I used to work through lunch every day and take work home every weekend because I felt I had to. Now I’ll occasionally put in extra hours but only when I choose to. If I know putting in more time at work this week will reward me with a better personal life next week, then I’ll do it. It’s a conscious choice and my eye’s firmly on the prize: more quality time for me away from work.
Take a few minutes to make a list of what’s most important to you. This will help you decide what can wait and what can’t. Dividing your goals into long and short term can really help too. I want to defrost my freezer, but work’s frantic and I’d rather wind down by going for a walk with my husband and dog. Most importantly though be kind to yourself and balance what’s best for you today and tomorrow. Then you really can have it all.
How do you balance your work and your life? Please share your experiences and suggestions in the comments below.
About the writer: this article was written by Jodie Healy.
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译文:
關於平衡工作與生活的新看法
21世紀最大的麻煩就是我們試圖同時把所有的事情都做好——工作，重要的人際關係，家庭，鍛煉，友情，保持房子乾淨整潔，花園完美無疵……
不管我怎樣努力，我從未做成功任何一件事。如果我努力工作了，我就沒時間遛狗。想和朋友出去，但我又需要打掃房子。想要創作，但也從未實現過。這是一種令人疲憊不堪的完美主義論嗎？工作與生活要達到平衡又意味著什麽？我們能做到嗎？
但我忙於工作時，我就沒有思考的空間或者情感力量去解決其他事情。而當我把更多的精力放在個人生活上時，我卻發現工作是多么的惹人煩。我想去做一些有關我個人的有趣的事情，不想被工作困住。但我卻無法使工作與生活的天平保持平衡，它不受控制地搖擺不停。
有一天我讀了過去六個月所寫的日記，驚駭地發現每天我寫的第一句話竟是“我很累”。我意識到由此而產生的惡果：我疲憊不堪，無聊乏味，一事無成。我決定找一個更好的方法。經過發福嘗試，天平終於不再那么激烈的搖擺了。
關於平衡工作與生活的新看法
1. 平衡一個月的生活與工作，而不是一天
一天中不可能有足夠的時間去做完所有的事。但只要你拓寬你的時間框架，或許你就能夠使你的工作與生活保持平衡。仔細想想哪些事對你來說事重要的，你一天能工作多少小時。你能全部把它們做完嗎？如果我按照字面意思來理解工作與生活的平衡，那么在一天之內，我必須打電話給姐姐和母親，和好朋友吃飯，鍛煉，畫畫，縫縫補補，打理花園，遛狗，與丈夫共度好時光，工作7個小時，上下班搭車花費2小時，煮飯，沉思冥想。難怪我那么累。
要做完所有的事是不可能的。而每一件我嘗試想做的事都失敗了。所以現在我想在一個月內達到平衡，有更大的靈活性。實際上，我讓自己有一些富餘時間。有時候工作讓我發狂時，我會從我所列的將要做的事情的單子上刪掉一些，讓自己有一些放鬆的時間，可能會讀點書或者泡個澡。工作減少時，那么我就有精力出去走走，幫助別人。
2. 做出明智的選擇
如果你想要保持長期的平衡，你必須清醒地認識到你生活中有什麽事在發生。既然知道你能夠把工作減輕，那么承認此刻的工作的確令人抓狂是很了不起的事。長時間地工作會讓你上癮，你很容易就落入一種忙於工作而從不花時間在生活上的模式。我過去常常是午休時間還在工作，周末也把工作帶回家，因為我覺得我必須這樣做。現在是只要我想，我也會偶爾多花點時間在工作上。如果我知道這周我多花點時間在工作上，下周我會有更好的個人生活作為回報，那么我會那樣做。這是一個明智的選擇。我看重的是得到的獎賞：更多過得有意義的工作以外的時間。
花幾分鐘列一張清單，想想什麽對你來說是最重要的。這會幫助你決定什麽能等，什麽不能。把你的目標分成長期和短期對你也會有所幫助。我想要給冰箱除霜，但是工作令人抓狂，我寧願先和丈夫牽著狗一起散散步，鬆弛一下神經。尤為重要的是，要對自己好，要使那些對你現在和未來有益的東西保持平衡。那么，你才能真正擁有它。
你怎么讓你的工作和生活達到平衡？在下面的評論欄里和我分享一下你的經歷與建議吧。
關於作者：此文作者為Jodie Healy。
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