It’s the season for award ceremonies – particularly in the world of entertainment. We’ve just had the Grammies and Bafta, not to mention SAG, Golden Globes, Emmys… the list is endless. Tonight things reach a climax with the 81st Academy Awards, the Oscars.
Other industries do have awards, although there isn’t such a song and dance made about them. Good companies also have staff recognition schemes, where individuals or groups/teams have awards for “going the extra mile”. This normally would imply some achievement or additional effort that takes them beyond their basic job description. Or benefits the organisation in some way in the eyes of its customers.
Whether you are winning (sorry, receiving) an Oscar or some staff recognition award, its nice to have some positive feedback from your peers and superiors that they think you’ve done a good job.
Getting good feedback or recognition happens in other ways. My twin daughters both work at a local restaurant. Waitressing remains one of those jobs where it is still custom to give tips for “good service”, although this practice has been abused and diluted by restaurants adding a flat “service charge” to the bill.
Despite the fact that the restaurant they work at is a pub with pretensions of being a restaurant – awful name “gastropub” – they do pretty well for tips. Last week they were both working one night and one daughter returned upset and angry. She’d spent the evening just servicing one large party, who had left virtually nothing in tips.
However, her frustration turned to joy the following shift. Someone from the party had sent a thank you card, containing a small remuneration, to the manager thanking the restaurant for such a nice evening and singling out my daughter for particular praise and “working hard to make the evening special”.
The manager pinned the card to the staff room wall, and there’s been no living with her since!
Now it’s fairly clear that both our self esteem and self confidence are given a huge boost when we receive praise, thank you’s and other recognition for a job well done. One important point though is to ensure you accept such feedback properly. Don’t say “it was nothing” or “anyone could have done that”.
No-one receives an Oscar and says “I don’t really deserve this, anyone could have done what I did .. I just showed up and did my job” So, learn to accept feedback and enjoy the moment. Say thank you, but, again, don’t dilute or try to shrug off your achievements.
Whilst watching award ceremonies can be excruciating, its quite interesting to see how recipients are generous in their praise and thanks of others (we just wish they didn’t have so many to thank!).
The other point relating to building your own confidence and self esteem is to give yourself appropriate positive feedback and “achievement awards”. Unfortunately, saying thank you and handing out praise isn’t as widespread as in the entertainment industry.
Criticism can be more likely than recognition at times. And as I said above, recognition is usually for doing something out of the ordinary and beyond your usual job or role. You can work hard and contribute greatly, but if thats what you normally do it goes unrecognised!
Get in the habit of being pleased when you have done a good job – be it at home, school, work, wherever. Don’t find fault, find strengths. If you have perfectionist tendencies start chipping away at your unrealistic aspirations. Treat yourself as you would a friend - give yourself praise for doing a good job, rather than waiting for things to be perfect.
Saying thank you to others is also something that can indirectly improve our self confidebce and self esteem. This is osmething we should get in the habit of doing naturally, and not allow it to become a forced or “corporate” led activity. Giving positive feedback should come naturally, being aware you are helping others through what you say is a nice side effect of saying “thank you“.
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译文:
给自己颁个奥斯卡
这是一个颁奖的季节——尤其是对世界娱乐圈来说。刚刚颁了格莱美奖，英国电影和电视艺术学院奖，美国演员工会奖，金球奖和艾美奖就更别提了。总之，名单一大堆。而今晚的第81届奥斯卡金像奖则将这一旺季推向了高潮。
别的行业虽然没有歌舞的颂扬，但也一样有奖励的措施。好的公司有一套员工奖励方案：只要是孜孜不倦的个人或团体都会获得奖励。这当然在激励员工在完成基本工作的基础之上做出一些别的成绩或努力，不然就是在某些方面做出有益于公司形象的贡献。
无论你是否赢得了奥斯卡或者是别的奖项的认可，只要能从认可你工作的同辈或前辈那得到一些积极的意见，就是件值得高兴的事。
意见和认可还能从别的途径中获得。我的两个双胞胎女儿都在同一间酒店工作。在那儿，服务员会从顾客那儿得到“服务周到”的小条子。虽然这项措施会被顾客滥用，而其意义也被酒店附加在帐单上的小费冲淡不少，但它还是被当成了一种惯例保留了下来。
她们工作的酒店只不过是个酒吧，但却把自己标榜为酒店，还安了个令人讨厌的名字叫“gastropub”。然而，她们却在里面表现出色。上个星期，有天晚上她们俩一起上班，但回来时有一个却感到很沮丧。原因是她整晚都在为一个大型聚会服务，却没有得到任何条子。
然而第二天上班的时候她却转悲为喜了。因为有位宴会上的客人给她们经理送了张谢卡，还附上了一些酬金。他感谢酒店为他提供了一个如此美好的夜晚，而且他还特别表扬了我的女儿，说她"为了营造那个美好的夜晚在一直辛勤工作着"。
很明显，当我们因出色的工作而得到赞扬，感谢，以及别的不同的认可时，我们的自尊和自信都会得到很大的激励。而最重要的一点是你要确定自己是当之无愧的。不要说“这没什么”或“这事儿谁都干得来”。
没有人会在获得奥斯卡奖后说：“我真的不该得奖，任何人都可以完成我所做的一切。我只不过刚好出现，然后完成了这项任务罢了”。要学会接受赞扬，享受那一刻的快乐。要向对方说谢谢，但还是那句话，不要把你的成就看得很淡，或更根本不把它们当回事。
虽然观看颁奖典礼很无聊，但每当看到获奖者们从容地面对他们的赞词，并把感谢送达他人时，却又觉得很有意义（只要他们的感谢不要太久就行）。
另一种建立自信和自尊的方法是适当地给予自己一些意见或给自己颁发“成就奖章”。可惜的是，生活中表达感谢和赞扬的机会并不像娱乐界那么多。
有时批评可能也是一种认可。正如我上述所说的，获得认可是因为你做了一些不平常的事，或是你的服务超出了你的职责范围。你努力工作，努力奉献。但如果你一贯如此，那么之一切就不会受到重视了。
当你表现突出时要表扬自己，使其形成一种习惯——在家里，学校，办公室，任何地方都要如此。不要挑剔自己的缺点，要发现自己的长处。如果你的完美主义理念不断削弱着你那不切实际的雄心，那么就把自己像朋友那样对待吧——因为工作出色而表扬自己，而不是期待着事情会变得更加完美。
对别人说谢谢也可以增强自身的自信心和自尊心。这种影响是潜移默化的。我们应该使之成为一种习惯，自然地流露出来。而不是勉强的说出口，或只在“公司”里使用。感谢别人应该是真心诚意的。要知道当你说“谢谢“的同时，你也在帮助了别人。这就是感谢的附带作用。