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Thousands have confessed to “letting ourselves go” — not making ourselves a priority in our own lives. It’s time to determine your greater purpose.
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Why Women Let Themselves Go
Ever-expanding to-do lists, fears of inadequacy — it’s enough to make anyone want to drop out of the game. Is this happening to you?
Women aren’t on their own list of priorities.
After taking care of everyone else, they are always putting themselves last on the list, and often have very little left to give. There are many women who aren’t living—they just exist. This is a form of self-abuse. Women often wear their exhaustion as a badge of honor. The more you do for your loved ones, the more acceptable it becomes to “let yourself go.” Women believe its okay to sacrifice themselves for their own families. This is a lie that we allow ourselves to buy into, but we need to wake up! The challenge for women is that they must re-language what it means to be a wife and mother. Being a good wife and mother means that if you don’t take care of yourself, in the long run you are ultimately harming all the other people you love in your life. You won’t be the only one who takes the hit.
Fear of Competition
Media and society frequently tell women we need to portray ourselves as “together” and be able to perform any task thrown our way. But when women look at the reality of how overwhelmed they feel in their own lives, they begin to feel like they are not good or worthy enough. Women often see other women who look like they are “doing it all”—and then when they compare themselves, they become overwhelmed and feel inadequate. It’s not easy to face feelings of inadequacy so women usually end up avoiding them. But women need to know you can’t show up in your own life if you are on the run. They tell themselves they are too tired and burdened to compete with others so they don’t believe they have the power to change anything. Then they “drop out” of the game—they give up and let themselves go.
We let fear take over.
Women become paralyzed in their lives and let themselves go because of an underlying fear. A fear of rejection, a fear to accept how they really feel about themselves, a fear of facing the idea that they aren’t enough, a fear of accepting how others may feel about them. They let the fear take over and let other people determine their own self worth. The internal barometer that gauges guides and directs your life as an empowered woman — that makes you know you are enough and okay — is broken and needs to be fixed.
It starts with SELF CARE;
Do you take time out to really take care of yourself? The truth about self-care is that it is necessary for your emotional, physical and spiritual well being, yet many of us put it on the back burner always thinking there are more important things to do.
Isn’t it time for you to practice some self-care?
Below is a list of what might be holding your back from being responsible and taking care of yourself.
Take time to visit this list and re-evaluate your lifestyle:
- A Desire To Please Everyone
- Trying To Be Perfect All The Time
- Negative Thinking
- Feeling Like You Don’t Deserve It
- Poor Time Management
- Lack of Planning and Organization
- Putting Things Off
- Difficulty in saying “NO”
- Worrying (All The Time) about the Future and Past
- Not Living in the present moment
- Lack of exercise
- Not eating healthy
Launch your personal comeback! Rediscover who you are!
You do deserve it and in fact you owe it to those around you. You cannot be very effective in your relationships when you are tired, run down or resentful of never being able to take care of yourself.
If YOU really matter to YOU, get serious about taking some time out to nurture and take care of the inner and outer you and …ENJOY it!
Do things that make you feel good, loved and special? Do things that help you connect to you? Do things for YOU!
Live Consciously!
Christine Spencer, Life / Success Coach
译文:
找回自我
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成千上万的人承认“放任自己”—不再把自己看作生命中的最重要的。该是确立人生中更重要目标的时候了。
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女性“放任自己”的原因
总觉得有做不完的事，生怕还有什么没做—这足以使任何一个人都想放弃。你是不是正受着这样的煎熬？
女人不重视自己
把其他人都照顾好了，女性却把自己放在了最后，能留给自己的也常常少之又少。所以说许多女人都不曾活着，她们只是存在于这个世界上。这其实是自我虐待的一种形式。对于毫无自我的忙碌，女人们却又引以为傲。你为自己所爱的那些人做得越多，有“放任自己”的想法也越可以为人所接受。为家庭牺牲自己的一切，女人们对此深信不疑。但这只不过是我们自己给自己找的借口，该醒悟了！女人们现在所面临的挑战就是要如何重新认识自己作为妻子和母亲的意义。做一个贤妻良母，就是说如果你不好好爱惜自己，那么从长远来来看的话，你会伤害到所有你爱的人。到时候，痛苦的不只是你一个人。
畏惧竞争
媒体和社会不断地向女性灌输这样的思想—我们得把自己塑造成“百事达”，能够妥善解决任何抛给我们的任务。但是，当女性看到她们自己却不是自己生活中的重点这一事实时，就开始怀疑自身的价值了。一些女性看到别人似乎把一切都做得井井有条，所以同样身为女人，她们觉得相比之下自己很逊色，做得远远不够。直面自己的不足总是困难的，所以很多女性就干脆采取逃避的做法。但是女人同时应该知道，如果就这样逃跑的话，也就没有了展示自己的机会。她们就告诉自己--自己太累，压力太大，无法和别人竞争了，这样也就可以心安理得的认为自己没有什么本事，无法改变任何事情。到最后，她们就中途退出了比赛，不愿继续这样下去，而选择放任自己。
我们自愿屈服于恐惧
出于内心深处的恐惧，女性决定不顾一切，任其发展。害怕被拒绝，害怕接受真正的自己，害怕自己做得不够，害怕别人对自己的看法--她们自甘成为畏惧的奴隶，让别人决定她们人生的价值。衡量、指导自己，让你觉得自己是“完美女性”的这一内心尺度遭到了破坏，需要修理。
这一切得从自我关怀开始；
你是否花点时间，好好地关心一下自己？自我关怀的真谛就是必须注重自己的身心健康，然而很多女性把这个都放到了最后，总觉得还有更重要的事情要做。
是不是该好好地练习下关心自己了？
以下列出的是妨碍你为自己负责，关心自己的一些因素。
花点时间看看这列表，重新审视自己的生活方式
* 想讨人喜欢的愿望
* 总想把一切都做到完美
* 消极思维
* 觉得自己没有权利
* 时间管理不善
* 缺乏计划和组织
* 把事情无限推迟
* 觉得说“不”很困难
* 一直在担心将来和过去
* 无法生活在当下
* 缺乏锻炼
* 饮食不健康
找回自我吧！重新发现自己！
你有这样的权利，事实上这是你欠你周围的人的。因为要是当你疲倦，无力，或则说一直抱怨自己没能好好照顾自己，你就无法和别人维持良好的关系。
要是你还是觉得自己很重要，那么你就该认真考虑下，怎样好好地关心下外在和内在的自己，重要的是要好好享受这个过程！
那些事情会不会让你觉得好一些，觉得自己是被爱着的，是特别的？让你觉得自己的肉体和灵魂是一体的？是的，那么就那样做吧，为自己！
活得认真点吧！
克里斯汀·斯宾塞，生活/成功教练