If you have friends with kids and you wish they would stop inviting you to visit, just pick up an item or two from the following list the next time a gift-giving occasion rolls around.
The first reason is obvious. There are usually thousands of them, and within 5 minutes of the package being opened they are everywhere. Second, assuming the kids actually do use the beads for their intended purpose, they proudly present you with a mismatched, half-completed poorly-made necklace/bracelet which they then expect the parent (you) to wear every day of your life.
Does this one even need an explanation? Just know that they put a screw on the battery compartment for a reason. No, it’s not so the kids can’t eat the batteries, if your kids eat batteries, they deserve what they get. It’s so the kids can’t replace the batteries, because there is no way that the parents ever will.
Slime + Furniture/Carpeting/Curtains/Anything = Angry Parent + Child with a sore rear end.
Scientists have calculated that there is only a 31 second window between the time a Barbie Doll leaves the box and the moment it is discarded by the child, hair matted and/or cut and completely naked. And speaking of that box! It is easier to get a cat in a bathtub that to get the stupid doll out of that box. The process goes like this…Cut tape, open box, slide out inner backing with doll and accessories attached, remove wire ties, cut tape, take a break, have a drink, cut strings, cut plastic, repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat…(I’m going to stop here, but at this point only half of the accessories have been freed from their plastic purgatory).
Have you ever stepped on a lite-brite peg at 2 am? If not, let me know, I’ll be happy to send you a couple so you can share in the experience.
Umm-umm! Nothing says gourmet cuisine like old batter from the toy store, cooked to runny/gooey/burned perfection by a 60 watt light bulb! See the beautiful treats this young girl has prepared? That’s not even close what your kid is going to make. If you give this a gift, be prepared to receive the results as a thank-you present.
How could bubbles possibly make this list? After all, they’re just soap and water? They’re harmless, right? WRONG! Parents hate bubbles like rednecks hate the government. They make anything they touch in the house sticky and leave water-soap rings on furniture, so you have to insist that the kids only use them outside, which results in: “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, “Can we go outside to blow bubbles?”, etc, etc, etc.
See: Bubbles
Gotta Catch ‘em All! At $5-20 a pop, catching ‘em all is a great financial plan if you are into poverty. These things are like kiddie heroin, one taste is all it takes. Plus, half of them don’t really look like anything, or at least not anything you would want to play with. Look at the example above (Sudo Woodo), it had to be inspired by a diet high in corn and peas. And the show!!! Try and watch it, I dare you.
You might as well wrap your children in colored toilet paper as these heavy-duty toughskin-quality threads. They are made from the flimsiest materials available, stitched together with the thinnest thread and typically unravel as you take them out of the packaging. See how happy the children are in the picture above? They’re getting paid to smile. It’s a triple whammy: Wasted money, ruined costumes and crying children.
Contributor: BishopWhiteT
译文:
排名前10位的父母们最惧怕的玩具【Top List】
如果你有家里面有小孩子的朋友，而且你希望他们不再邀请你去他们家，那就在下次再有送礼物的场合到来时，带上下列玩具中的一两样去就可以了。
第10名
小珠子
第一个原因显而易见。这种小珠子通常有成千上万，打开包装后用不了5分钟，就弄得遍地都是。第二，假设孩子们真的想以他们的目的来使用这些小珠子，他们便会骄傲地向你显示他们那些错配、半完成品、做工不好的项链和手链，而且他们会希望你生命中的每一天都会戴着。
第9名
电子发声玩具
关于这点还需要一个解释吗？要知道人们在电池盒上装个螺丝扣是有原因的。不，不是因为这样做孩子们就不能吃到电池，如果你的孩子们吃了电池，他们是罪有应得。因为这个原因，孩子们不能换电池，因为家长们绝不会允许。
第8名
粘质物
粘质物+家具/地毯/窗帘/任何东西＝恼怒的父母+孩子疼痛的屁股
第7名
芭芘娃娃
科学家们计算过了，从芭芘娃娃离开包装盒到被孩子们丢弃，头发被铺散开或者被剪掉，被剥得一丝不挂，用不了多久的时间。再来说说包装盒！很容易找到一只浴缸里的小猫把那个傻娃娃从盒子里边弄出来。步骤通常会是这样——弄断带子，打开盒子，把娃娃和附属物滑出来，弄掉捆绳，弄断带子，休息一会儿，喝点什么，弄断细绳，弄坏塑料，重复，重复，重复，重复……（我就说到这儿吧，但是至此才只有一半的附属物从塑料包装里脱离出来）。
第6名
彩灯箱子
你是否曾经在凌晨2点钟踩到彩灯箱子上面的小螺钉？如里没有，告诉我一声，我很乐意送你一组彩灯箱子好让你分享一下这样的经历。
第5名
简易烘烤炉
啊，没人说过美食家烹饪的老式奶蛋面糊是用商店里的玩具做出来的，没人说过用60W的亮灯泡能做出稀嫩嫩的、粘糊糊的、完美火候的食物来！来看看这小姑娘装备的这么可口的美食吧，那不是你的孩子能做出来的。如果你送这样一份礼物，就做好会收到一份谢礼的准备吧。
第4名
肥皂泡泡
肥皂泡泡怎么会被列入到此名单？毕竟，它们只是肥皂和水啊？它们是无害的，对吧？错！家长们憎恨泡泡就像乡巴佬憎恨政府。孩子们把屋子里他们所碰到的一切东西都弄得黏黏的然后在家具上留下肥皂水的环形印迹，所以你坚持要孩子们只在室外玩肥皂泡泡，于是导致：“我们可以去外边吹泡泡吗？”，“我们可以去外边吹泡泡吗？”，“我们可以去外边吹泡泡吗？”，“我们可以去外边吹泡泡吗？”，等等，等等，等等。
第3名
节日彩带
见：肥皂泡泡
第2名
口袋妖怪
想要把它们都集齐！每个5-20美元，如果你很穷的话，想把它们都收集齐也是笔挺大的开支。这些东西就像是儿童海洛因，仅需一次品尝。此外，拥有一半的口袋妖怪看起来真不怎么样，至少不是什么你想玩的东西。看看上面的例子（Sudo Woodo），它们必须用高谷物和高豆类的饮食来鼓舞。还有它们的表演，来看看，你敢试吗？
第1名
演出服
你可能也用彩色手纸包裹着你的孩子们就像这些耐穿的厚厚的线团一样。它们是用最细的线把最脆弱的材料缝合到一起，通常是你把它们从包装袋里拿出来时就散套了。看看上图里的小孩子笑得是多么的开心吧！这微笑是有代价的。就是三倍的折磨：浪费金钱，坏了的演出服还有孩子们的哭声。
投稿人：比夏普·怀特·T