I’ve heard things said a lot of times, pertaining to how much a person had changed upon entering a certain relationship. It can be a positive change or a negative one. I reckon one can’t help it, yeah? A relationship can indeed change a person. I guess all that’s left to question is just how much, which will be the basis of it being positive or negative. So,
How much of yourself do you lose?
I’m talking about your personality. Ok. There’s no right or wrong answer here (depends on where you stand about this matter, though). Granted that you have a personality that’s less attractive than what people would normally prefer, losing much of it will be for the good of everyone, right? Or perhaps you have this steady disposition that you can easily adapt and sort of go with the flow but never risking any loss? Or you’re rock solid, no change ever happening.
But what about people who change a whole lot just for the sake of keeping his or her current partner? Do you think this is healthy?
There’s adapting in healthy dosages and there’s insecure mimicry. I just believe that your personality is your own. Choosing to give it up for something you think is “better” is a foolish thing to do. What if at the end of the relationship you find yourself a stranger to yourself. Yea, with all the “changes” you’ve gone through, you don’t know who you are anymore. Instead of having yourself as a solid wall to lean onto during this time, you’ll be feeling that you need to start all over again.
Again, this is just my personal opinion. Now, it’s your turn. What are your thoughts on the matter? Where do you stand? Is there an allowable amount of change a person can apply within himself/herself? Do share your opinions.
译文:
你丧失了多少自我？
当一个人陷入爱河的时候，他/她究竟改变了多少？我经常听到这样的话。这种改变或好或坏。我猜这种改变无法控制，对吧？一段感情确实可以改变一个人。我估计剩下的只是改变多少的问题，这也是判断改变或好或坏的基础。所以——
你丧失了多少自我？
我在谈论的是你的性格。好吧，这里没有正确或错误的答案（虽然这取决于你站在事情的哪个立场）。假定你的性格并不是人们通常喜欢的那样吸引人，那么改变这部分的性格对每个人来说都是好事吧？或者你可以轻易改变这种稳定的性情，有点顺着别人走却又不会丧失自我？又或者你的性格坚如磐石，永不改变。
但是对那些仅仅是为了现在的另一半而几乎彻底改变自我的人而言呢？你觉得这样好吗？
为了这种改变而改变的同时，也存在不安全因素。我只是觉得性格是你自己的。为了那些你认为是更好的东西，而选择放弃自己的性格是一件很愚蠢的事。要是当这段感情结束的时候，你发现连你自己都不认识你自己了该怎么办呢。是的，当你经历所有那些“改变”之后，你不再认识你自己了。这段时间你不再坚强，而是感到需要重头来过。
再重申一次，这仅仅是我个人的观点。现在，该轮到你了。对此你有什么想法呢？你站在哪个立场上？你认为有多少部分是人们可以改变的？欢迎分享你的观点。