You just received a memo: your parent-teacher conference is scheduled. What should you ask the teacher? I’ve sat on both sides of this one: as a mom of three (I always wonder how many hours I spent at those school events) and as a teacher. I learned that there are things parents can do before, during and even after the conference to make the most of those meetings with the teacher. In fact, if you ask the right questions, you may just learn a few things about your child. Here, suggestions to maximize the meeting.
What to Do Before the Conference
Take time before the conference to jot down any questions so you won’t forget them. Your goal is to find out not only how your child is doing, but also ways you can help out at home. Here are my tips to help you prepare for the meeting but, of course, tailor your queries to your child and your concerns.
1. Briefly review your child’s latest schoolwork, tests, and assignments. Do you have any concerns or questions?
2. Talk to your child: Ask if there is anything he’d like you to ask his teacher (such as the homework schedule or when the library books are due). Also ask: “Is there anything you think the teacher will tell me that I don’t know?” Better to not be surprised -- right?
3. Review teacher guidelines: Take a look at the classroom rules, holidays, homework and behavior expectations, dress code, and contact numbers. Doing so may save you from taking time away from discussing your child’s progress. If you don’t have a school handbook, ask your child to bring one home.
What to Do During the Conference
1. Be on time. The teacher has only a set time to talk, so you should use it wisely. Walk in with an open mind and listen. You can always schedule another conference later.
2. Bring paper and a pencil to jot notes. Also bring the key questions you want answers to. You want to try to get an accurate assessment of how your child is doing academically, but also socially and emotionally. Here are a few questions you might want to ask:
• School work: How is my child doing academically? Socially? Behaviorally? How does he compare to other children? How is he doing on tests?
• Social competence: Does he fit in? How does he get along with others? Who does he play with or hang around with? Is there any child you think might be a good friend for him that he currently doesn't associate with?
• Strengths and weaknesses: What are his strengths? His strongest subjects? What about weaknesses? Is he keeping up? Should we be concerned? What can we do at home to help?
• Homework: How much time should he spend on it each night? Is he turning it in? Is there a list of books he should be reading at home? Is there a homework schedule? You may also want to inquire about scheduled book reports or upcoming projects. The goal is to find out if your child is not only doing his homework and turning it in, but if it’s also done at the level the teacher expects.
• Emotional well-being: Does he seem comfortable and happy in the classroom? Does he appear confident and willing to participate?
• Behavior: How does my child behave around adults and other kids? Is he polite and respectful?
• Teacher contact: What is the best way to reach you? (i.e., email, phone, note).
• Your role: If you are so inclined, ask if there is anything you can do to help out in the classroom or outside of school.
• Problems: If the teacher does mention a problem (a learning disability, a behavior concern, low test scores, or the possibility of being retained), stay open and gather as much information as possible. Your goal is to find out what the teacher plans to do to help remedy the problem, how significant an issue it is, and how you can reinforce the plan at home. Find out how you will know if the problem is improving or escalating. Let her know you want to stay on top of things. Figure out how the two of you will monitor the issue together.
What to Do After the Conference
Now go home and share what you learned with your child and your parenting partner. Always start with the positives, and if there is a concern discuss how you and his teacher will monitor things so there is an improvement. Then commit to doing what you discussed. If you still have concerns or unanswered questions especially about a behavior or academic issue, schedule another conference in a week or so. If appropriate, write a note to the teacher thanking her for her time and advice.
译文:
家长会攻略
要开家长会了！您刚刚收到了通知。那么，您该在会上问老师什么问题呢？我本人扮演了两种角色：既是三个孩子的妈妈（我经常会惊讶于自己参与学校活动的时间），又是一名教师。我了解到父母可以在家长会前后及开家长会时做一些工作，与老师配合，使家长会取得最佳效果。实际上，如果您只是向老师问了正确的问题，您可能仅仅了解到孩子的部分情况。下面，我给您提出一些使家长会充分发挥作用的建议。
家长会前，写下任何您想问的问题，防止遗忘。提问的目标不仅是了解到孩子的表现怎样，而且是找到在家里帮助他的方法。下面是我的一些小技巧，可供您参考进行准备。当然，您的提问应该符合孩子的情况及您关心的问题。
1.简单总结一下孩子最近的作业、考试和任务完成情况。您有哪些忧虑或者问题？
2.与孩子谈话，问他是否有想问老师的问题（如家庭作业的进度，以及图书馆借书何时到期等）。此外，还要问他“你认为老师会不会在家长会上告诉我一些现在不知道的事情呢？”最好不要到时大吃一惊，对吧？
3.回顾教师指导守则，了解学生守则、假期要求、家庭作业和孩子活动的要求、着装要求及联系电话等。这样有助于您减少讨论这些问题的时间，从而用更多的时间讨论如何使孩子进步。如果您还没有学校手册，让孩子带一本回家学习。
会上该做些什么？
1. 按时参加。教师的时间是固定的，所以您应该认真利用。参会时保持开放的态度，认真倾听。其他会议总是可以以后再安排。
2. 带好纸笔做记录。而且带着您最想了解答案的关键性问题参会。您可以了解到对孩子的评估，不光是学习方面，还包括社交和情绪方面。下面是您可能想问的一些问题：
- 学校作业：孩子在校学习怎样？朋友交往怎样？有什么行为？他与其他孩子相比怎样？考试成绩如何？
- 社交能力：他合群吗？与其他同学相处怎样？他玩耍的伙伴是谁？是否有您认为他值得结交的朋友？
- 优点和缺点：他的优点有哪些？他擅长的科目是那些？缺点是哪些？他是否跟得上？需要担心吗？在家可以怎样帮助他？
- 家庭作业：每晚应该花多少时间做作业？他交作业了吗？是否有一些书单上的书应该在家里读？是否有写作业的计划表？可能您也想询问是否要写读书报告或者其他的作业。这样做的目的是确定孩子不仅完成并按时交了作业，而且确保作业符合老师要求达到的水平。
- 情绪健康：他在教室里感到舒服和快乐吗？他是否表现得自信而愿意参与？
- 行为方面：孩子在大人和其他孩子面前的行为表现如何？他是否礼貌，尊敬别人？
- 联系方式：您的最佳联系方式是什么？（如电子邮件，电话，留言条等）
- 您的作用：如果您愿意，可以询问老师在教室里或学校外需要那些帮助。
- 有关问题：如果老师确实提到了一个问题（如学习障碍，行为问题，考分低或者可能留级等），您要保持开放的态度，尽可能了解更多的信息。您的目标是了解到老师计划如何解决这个问题，问题的严重程度如何，以及您如何在家里辅助实施老师的计划。您怎样了解问题的发展程度，是逐渐被解决还是又严重了？让老师指导您希望掌握情况，并且找到与老师共同监督的方法。
会后该做些什么？
现在该回家了。你需要就家长会的情况与孩子和其他家人进行沟通。一定要先说好的方面，如果有问题，那么讨论应该怎样做才能配合老师进行监督，促进情况改善。然后根据讨论的结果坚持做下去。如果您仍然有顾虑或者还有其他没有找到答案的问题（特别是在孩子行为或者学习方面），那么与老师安排再开一次会议。方便的话，给老师写张条子，感谢她的抽出时间开会及她提出的建议。