Three mice are sitting at a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are. The first mouse orders a scotch, gulps it down and slams the glass on the bar. He turns to the second mouse and says, "When I see a mousetrap, I lie on my back and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, bench press it 20 times to work up an appetite, and then make off with the cheese."
The second mouse orders two shots of bourbon, slams them down and nearly breaks the glasses on the bar. He turns to the first mouse and replies, "Yeah, well, when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can, take it home, grind it into a powder, and add it to my coffee each morning so I can get a good buzz going for the rest of the day."
The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two, "I don't have time for this bullshit. I gotta go home and screw the cat."
译文:
无敌老鼠
一天夜里，三个老鼠坐在一个混乱街区的酒吧里，他们都想让其他老鼠知道，自己有多厉害。第一个老鼠点了一杯苏格兰威士忌，一口吞下，然后把酒杯砰的一声摔在吧台上。他转过头对第二只老鼠说：“当我看见老鼠夹子的时候，我就仰面躺下，用脚丫触发它。当夹子合上的时候，我就用牙叼住它做20次仰卧举重，好让我更有食欲，然后我就带着奶酪跑掉。”
第二只老鼠点了两杯波旁酒，一口吞掉，把杯子摔在吧台上，差点碎掉。他转头对第一只说：“是啊，而我看到老鼠药的时候，我就尽量收集起来带回家，掺到我每天早上喝的咖啡里，让我这一整天都有精神。”
第一只和第二只老鼠转向第三只老鼠。第三只老鼠长长的叹了口气，然后对另外两只说：“我可没时间跟你们闲扯。我还得回家收拾猫呢！”