如何处理害羞——成功的3个秘诀

读者: 1633    发布时间: 2007

原文: How to Deal with Shyness - 3 Secrets for Success

If you do not know how to deal with shyness, your attitude may be misinterpreted as a sign of rudeness or a lack of interest. For example, if you are in the company of a friend's friend and you hardly speak at all, it may be taken as a sign that you do not want to talk to them. If your friend runs to your defense and says that you are "just shy", then that is the only time that other people will understand.

 

What if there is no other friend to defend your attitude? For this reason, you should know how to deal with shyness and take steps towards slowly climbing your way up in getting over it. Much like a lifelong disease, you may not completely overcome shyness that is why you should know how to deal with it and live a full life despite having this feeling. Take a look at these tips on how to deal with shyness:

 

1. Be comfortable with who you are

One of the main causes of shyness is feeling insecure about one's self. All fears should be conquered from the inside. Shyness is a fear of speaking in front of a group of people out of fear of being embarrassed that is why you need to be comfortable with who you are first. Once you have a total acceptance of who you are as a person, other people will react to your renewed sense of self-confidence. In turn, once you have enough self-confidence, you will feel more comfortable facing other people in any given social situation.

 

2. Identify your strengths and use them as a foundation to boost your self-esteem.

In life, we try to compensate for the things that that we lack by making up for it in other ways. The same thing holds true in overcoming shyness. If you feel that shyness is negative quality that you just cannot seem to do anything about, then make up for it in other ways. It is important to determine your strengths and weaknesses. So you know that you are painfully shy.

 

Take a look at the other side of the coin. What are your strengths and what makes you a unique character? Shyness cannot be the entire aspect of your being. Once you have pinpointed your strengths, you can build them up and in turn, you can boost your self-esteem. This way, you can feel a lot better once you are in the company of others because you know that there is nothing to be insecure about since you do have plus points on your side.

 

3. Remember that overcoming shyness is a slow process but if you continually work on it, you can certainly achieve your goal.

 

Shyness cannot be cured or overcome in a span of one night, or even a week or a month. It is a tedious, slow and sometimes painful process. However, much like conquering your fear, you can never completely get over your shyness if you do not do anything about it. Take it one step at a time. Start by being more open to conversation with people that you often meet.

If you do not normally chat with the grocer on the store that you always go to, try doing so now. If you often lounge in your apartment on a Friday night, try going out with your friends for a change. Take exercise classes, self-development classes, join a sport that you have always wanted to try. Letting yourself adapt to a new environment will make you meet a lot of people who will help you get over your shyness eventually.

 

These tips on how to deal with shyness are sure-fire ways on how you can overcome shyness so that you can live a fuller life filled with experiences from all the wonderful people that you can meet.

译文: 如何处理害羞——成功的3个秘诀

如果你不知道如何去克服害羞,你的态度可能会被认为是粗俗无礼或者缺乏兴趣的标志。比如说,你在一个朋友的朋友成立的公司工作,你平时几乎不说话,别人可能认为你不愿意和他们交谈。如果你的朋友对于你的缄默说你只是因为“害羞的”,直到此时其他的人才会明白。
但是如果没有朋友为你的态度辩护呢?由此,你应该知道如何克服你的害羞并且采取措施慢慢的直到最终克服它。很像一种终生的疾病,你可能不会完全的克服害羞,所以你应该知道如何处理它并且丰富的过一辈子而不论是不是存在这样的感觉。看一下以下如何处理害羞的一些提示:
1.对自己满意
造成害羞的一个很主要的原因就是对自己不确定。所有的恐惧应该从内心来战胜。害羞是在很多处于窘迫情况下也不会恐惧的人面前讲话时产生的一种的恐惧,这就是为什么你需要对自己满意的认为你是第一。一旦你被作为一个人而完全的受到认可,其他人的反应将会再度让你树立自信。反过来,一旦你有足够的自信,你在任何特定社交状况下面对其他人时都会感到非常舒适。
2.找出你的优势并利用它们作为依据来刺激你的自尊
在生活中,我们尝试着弥补那些在其他方面我们所缺乏的东西。克服害羞有着同样的情况。如果你觉得害羞是消极性质的那么你看起来并不需要为此做什么,只是在其他方面弥补它就可以。确定你的优势和不足是很重要的,因为你知道你正为害羞而觉得痛苦。
事物是有两面性的。你的强项是什么,又是什么使得你形成了一个独特的性格?害羞不可能是你的全部状态。一旦你明确了自己的强项,你会把加强它们并且反过来刺激你的自尊。这样,当你在其他人的公司里的时候你会感觉好很多,因为你知道当你增加观点时没有什么可以担心的。
3.记住克服害羞是一个缓慢的过程,但是如果你一直坚持下去你总会达到你的目标的。
治愈和克服害羞不是一个晚上、一个星期、甚至一个月就能实现的。它是一个枯燥乏味、缓慢并且有时会觉得痛苦的过程。然而就像战胜恐惧一样,如果你什么都不做你可能永远也不能完全的克服你的害羞。一次采取一步措施。从通过和你经常见面的人进行多一些的交谈开始。
如果你通常不和你经常去的商店里的老板聊天,现在就试着和他聊天吧。如果你经常在星期五的晚上在住宅周围闲逛,试着和你的朋友们一起出门来改变你的习惯。参加锻炼班、自我提升班,参加一项你早就想参加的运动。让你自己适应一个新的环境将会让你接触到很多可以帮助你最终克服你的害羞的人。
这些如何处理害羞的提示对于你克服害羞是很有用的,因此你的生活会变得丰富多彩,充满了那些你从所遇到的成功人士那里得到的经验。