原文: 8 Tremendously Important Ways That Gratitude Can Change Your Life

“If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice.” - Meister Eckhart

It’s amazing how one simple, easy, positive action can change so much in a person’s life.

One of the things that has had the biggest effect on my life is the realization of the power of gratitude. Simply giving thanks.

It has affected everything. It has made me a more positive person. A more productive person. A better achiever. A better husband and father and son and brother (at least, I like to think so). A happier person. I’m not perfect, but gratitude has made me better.

Can it change your life as well? I can guarantee it. You might not get the exact same benefits as I have, but there’s no doubt in my mind that the simple act of gratitude on a regular basis will change anyone’s life, positively and immediately. How many other changes can claim to be that quick, that easy, and that profound?

Let’s take a look at some of the ways you can incorporate gratitude into your life, and how it will change your life. These are just some examples, based on my experience and the experiences of others I’ve talked with, and not all will apply to your life. But pick and choose the ones you think will work for you.

1. Have a morning gratitude session. Take one minute in the morning (make it a daily ritual) to think of the people who have done something nice for you, to think of all the things in your life you’re grateful for. You won’t get to everything in one minute, but it’s enough. And it will instantly make your day better, and help you start your day off right. Can you think of a better use of one minute?

2. When you’re having a hard day … make a gratitude list. We all have those bad days sometimes. We are stressed out from work. We get yelled at by someone. We lose a loved one. We hurt a loved one. We lose a contract or do poorly on a project. One of the things that can make a bad day much better is making a list of all the things you’re thankful for. There are always things to be thankful for — loved ones, health, having a job, having a roof over your head and clothes on your back, life itself.

3. Instead of getting mad at someone, show gratitude. That’s a major switching of attitudes — actually a complete flip. And so this isn’t always easy to do. But I can promise you that it’s a great thing to do. If you get mad at your co-worker, for example, because of something he or she did … bite your tongue and don’t react in anger. Instead, take some deep breaths, calm down, and try to think of reasons you’re grateful for that person. Has that person done anything nice for you? Has that person ever done a good job? Find something, anything, even if it’s difficult. Focus on those things that make you grateful. It will slowly change your mood. And if you get in a good enough mood, show your gratitude to that person. It will improve your mood, your relationship, and help make things better. After showing gratitude, you can ask for a favor — can he please refrain from shredding your important documents in the future? And in the context of your gratitude, such a favor isn’t such a hard thing for the co-worker to grant.

4. Instead of criticising your significant other, show gratitude. This is basically the same as the above tactic, but I wanted to point out how gratitude can transform a marriage or relationship. If you constantly criticize your spouse, your marriage will slowly deteriorate — I promise you. It’s important to be able to talk out problems, but no one likes to be criticized all the time. Instead, when you find yourself feeling the urge to criticize, stop and take a deep breath. Calm down, and think about all the reasons you’re grateful for your spouse. Then share that gratitude, as soon as possible. Your relationship will become stronger. Your spouse will learn from your example — especially if you do this all the time. Your love will grow, and all will be right in the world.

5. Instead of complaining about your kids, be grateful for them. Many parents (myself included) get frustrated with their children. They are too slow to do things, they have a bad attitude, they can’t clean up after themselves, and they pick their nose too much. Unfortunately, sometimes parents will communicate that frustration to their children too often, and the kids will begin to feel bad about themselves. Many parents have done this, and while it’s not perfect, it’s a part of parenthood. But there’s a better way: follow the method above of calming down when you’re frustrated, and thinking of reasons you’re grateful to your child. Share these reasons with your child. And then take the opportunity to teach them, instead of criticizing them.

6. When you face a major challenge, be grateful for it. Many people will see something difficult as a bad thing. If something goes wrong, it’s a reason to complain, it’s a time of self-pity. That won’t get you anywhere. Instead, learn to be grateful for the challenge — it’s an opportunity to grow, to learn, to get better at something. This will transform you from a complainer into a positive person who only continues to improve. People will like you better and you’ll improve your career. Not too shabby.

7. When you suffer a tragedy, be grateful for the life you still have. I’ve recently lost an aunt, and my children recently lost a grandmother. These tragedies can be crippling if you let them overcome you. And while I’m not saying you shouldn’t grieve — of course you should — you can also take away something even greater from these tragedies: gratitude for the life you still have. Appreciation for the fleeting beauty of life itself. Love for the people who are still in your life. Take this opportunity to show appreciation to these people, and to enjoy life while you can.

8. Instead of looking at what you don’t have, look at what you do have. Have you ever looked around you and bemoaned how little you have? How the place you live isn’t your dream house, or the car you drive isn’t as nice as you’d like, or your peers have cooler gadgets or better jobs? If so, that’s an opportunity to be grateful for what you already have. It’s easy to forget that there are billions of people worse off than you — who don’t have much in the way of shelter or clothes, who don’t own a car and never will, who don’t own a gadget or even know what one is, who don’t have a job at all or only have very menial, miserable jobs in sweatshop conditions. Compare your life to these people’s lives, and be grateful for the life you have. And realize that it’s already more than enough, that happiness is not a destination — it’s already here.

“Everyday, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” - Dalai Lama

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译文: 感激常在，生活精彩！——行之有效建议8则

 

“一生单言谢，足矣。”——①迈斯特尔·埃克哈特（Meister Eckhart）

 

一简单积极之举改变人一生的威力竟有如此之大，着实叫人惊诧不已。

对我一生影响最大的莫过于感恩二字——简单说来就是感谢。

“感恩”二字佛光普照无处不在。它叫我愈发积极进取，收益颇丰，功成名就；它使我更好地扮演着夫，父，子，兄的角色（我这么认为）；它铸就了一个乐观开朗的我。虽非完美，优秀却日益见长。

感恩之心能否让你收获同样的精彩呢？我可以向你保证。也许你的受益与我的不尽相同，但我相信微小频繁的感恩之举能行之有效地为每个人的生活增添一抹亮色。哪里还有其它方法能使改变如此快速，简单，深刻呢？

让我们来瞅瞅这些值得纳入生活，改变生活的方法吧。它们仅是我或是与我交流之人的经验之谈，不一定每条都适合你，你可以择优取之。

1. 怀揣感恩心，清晨作祷告。  早晨，用一分钟去回忆那些帮助过你的人，回想生命之中那些令你深深感动的事物（使之成为每日必须）。一分钟虽短，但已足够。它将赋予你一个妥帖的开始，照亮你当天的行程。试问还有比它更有意义的一分钟吗？

2. 诸事不顺之时，拟定感谢清单。  人人有困难之时。我们为工作身心俱疲；对他人大吼大叫；痛失至亲之人；伤害至爱之人。我们未能完成合约签订，抑或在一项目上表现不佳。结束倒霉的一天的办法之一便是制定一份感谢单。生命中总有些要感谢的人——你的至亲至爱，健康，工作，你头顶上的屋檐（为你遮风挡雨），背上的衣服（为你蔽体御寒），或是生活本身。

3. 少些辱骂，多份感谢。 这是个重要的态度转变——是种彻底的情绪大反弹。因此，要做到这一点不那么容易。但我敢保证这很奇妙。如若你对同事的所作所为愤愤不满，要抑制住怒气，切忌雷霆大发。几口深呼吸，让心情平复，试图想想能引发你感激之情的因素。他是否帮助过你？他是否出色地完成过任务？找到一些因素，不管是什么，即使这很难。把注意力集中到你感激的方面。你的情绪会渐渐好转。如若感激之情日益加剧，则向他开口言谢。这将陶冶你的性情，改善你的人际，使事物往更好的方向发展。道谢之后，不妨开口请求——问他以后能否不要再撕碎你的重要文件。而在那个情境之中，你的同事会很快答应你的请求。

4. 少些责难，多份感激。 此点与上述方法雷同，但我想点明感恩之心在婚姻或人际关系中的作用。你若时常对你的另一半抱怨，你们婚姻的殿堂将慢慢崩塌——我向你保证。点出问题的存在很重要，但没有人愿意永远扮演问题的载体。因此，意欲抱怨之时，稍作停留，深呼吸一口。平静下来，想想你对他的感激之处，然后马上表达你的感激之情。这样你们的关系会更加稳定。你的他（她）也会向你靠齐——特别是你总是这么做的话。你们爱情的果实会壮大，一切都会美好起来。

5. 少些怒气，多份关怀。 许多家长（包括我自己）对孩子失望透顶。孩子们做事不利落，态度不端正；他们洗漱不自觉，老爱抠鼻子。糟糕的是，家长们频繁把话挑明了讲给孩子听，在孩子心底埋下自卑的种子。许多家长是这么做的，尽管这不对，但已是亲子关系中的一部分。但有个好途径：当不满高涨之时，按前面提到的方法让心情平复，想想令你感激孩子的因素，把它们说给孩子听，紧接着，趁热打铁，教他你想教的，而不是一味地批评。

6. 面临重大挑战，感激战胜压力。 许多人把挫折看作是坏事。一旦受阻，则埋头抱怨，自怨自艾。那样做无济于事。学会抱有一颗感激之心面对挑战——学习，进步，成长的良机。这将促使你完成由自哀自怜者向乐观进取者的蜕变。你将成为一个更加受人爱戴事业有成的人。告别卑微。

7. 大祸降至，更爱生活。 就在不久前我失去了一个阿姨，我的孩子们失去了一位祖母。若你甘心诚服，灾祸将逍遥法外。当然我不是说你不该悲恸——你肯定会——但你也获得了更宝贵的东西：感激你那依旧奔跑的生命。生命本身的飞逝便是种值得欣赏的美。爱那些依旧可以触及的人。赶紧去向这些人表达感激之情吧，抓紧每分每秒享受生命。

8. 少些奢求，多份珍惜。 你可曾四下攀比，抱怨己有之甚少？你可曾感叹所居之所并非己之所往，所驱之驾未达己之所求，所玩之物品味不及他人之物，所司之职前景不比他人之职？如是之，则借此机会感激你已拥有的吧。要忘记千千万万比你情况更糟的人很容易——那些食不果腹衣不遮体的人，那些没有车也不会有车的人，那些不曾有过玩具甚至不晓得玩具是什么的人，那些失业或是没日没夜在恶劣环境中卑贱劳作的人。较之他们，你的生活不知要美好多少，心怀感激吧。该意识到，拥有的已足够，幸福并非遥远的梦，它就在你的手心。

“每天醒来，告诉自己，今天我还活着，这是多大的荣幸，我有宝贵的生命，我将不会虚度。我要努力壮大自己，真心关怀他人，为全人类的利益贡献力量。我将善待他人，永不辱骂诅咒。我将尽全力帮助他人。”

——②达赖喇嘛(Dalai Lama)

 

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注：

①迈斯特尔·埃克哈特（Meister Eckhart 1260—1327）——德国哲学家，是中世纪思辨的神秘主义的主要代表之一，对以后欧洲神秘主义深有影响。