As If Capitalism Didn’t Have Enough Problems…
Already reeling from misguided attacks from a variety of sources, capitalism was dealt another severe blow today when President Bush rode to the defense of the much-maligned economic system.
The President cautioned against “too much government regulation” and stressed that only central-planners, bureaucrats and super-secret regulators such as the newly empowered Hank Paulson were best suited to determine how much regulation and oversight were appropriate in order to be able to cling to the fiction that we were operating under a capitalist system.
“It’s like the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears,” the President said, “Some regulation is too little, a whole bunch of regulation is too much but a combination of taxes and draconian Federal powers is juuuuust right.”
When informed that laissez-faire capitalism was, in fact, characterized by a total lack of government interference in the economy Bush replied, “Well, that’s just not lazy or fair.”
In other news, capitalism, individual rights and speaking in cogent sentences were all denied assistance under the Federal bailout program as both parties in Congress emphasized that the legislation was “never supposed to help those things.”
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Cogito ergo B.S.
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Photo credit: EveryStockPhoto.com
译文:
布什为“资”辩解——资本主义经济制度将保持不变
似乎美国式的资本主义不足以刮起这场金融风暴……
近日，“资本主义”已成为国际各界的炮轰对象。面对各方质疑和抨击，布什总统今天公然表明其维护资本主义经济制度 这一坚定决心，从而再一次将“资”推到了风口浪尖。
布什总统称，要谨防“过多的政府干预”，并着重指出，规范政府干预力度的人员应不超过三类：从事规划部署的政府人员、行政官员以及负有保守国家机密义务的最高管理者——如新任财政部长汉克·保尔森。布什认为，只有在“自由经济”保持不变的前提下适当予以“政府调控”，美国的经济才能由逆转顺。
“这就像《三只小熊》故事里的金发女孩，”布什总统在描述自己的立场时，说道，“我们要做到整体不多，部分不少，刚好合适，保证政府和美联储所采取的税收及各项严格措施有力执行。”
有人认为，当今放任的自由资本主义经济，其实质是无政府干预下的经济。对此，布什总统的回答是：“这根本不是政府怠于管理和管理适不适度的问题。”
据其它媒体有消息称，国会两党纷纷强调，立法会的宗旨在批准和制定法律，而非确保经济危机得以解决。国会的这一态度决定了其通过美联储救市计划案，并非旨在保障自由市场和自由公民。
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Cogito ergo B.S.
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图片来源 : EveryStockPhoto.com