原文: How to Find Community

Byron Bay, Australia Caves Branch, Belize The 500sf home above was built using local, healthy, natural materials into a woodland hill in Wales, is sustainable and energy-efficient, and cost about 1500 hours plus £3000 ($6000). They are now planning to build a whole community of such buildings. On Saturday I'm off to my second meeting with an impromptu Natural (Intentional) Community forming group. The guy who brilliantly researched the 18 very diverse people he invited to the first meeting has moved aside and is letting the group self-organize, which is an inspired move. Those who have self-selected out of the group won't show up again, and each of us has been invited to bring some additional candidates for membership Saturday. So there will be a whole new playing field. It's a strange experience, accepting an invitation to meet a bunch of strangers in a huge house in the forest. I felt like I was in one of those mystery movies, looking for clues for why we were all there! The greatest single challenge in creating a sustainable Natural Community, or for that matter a Natural Enterprise (which is a form of Natural Community) always seems to be finding the right people. For it to work, you need to have a shared purpose, and trust and love for all the other partners in the community. If the chemistry is bad, forget it. So I got to thinking about the Natural Enterprises I know, and the Natural Communities I've heard about, that work, and how their members found each other and made it happen. In some respects Natural Enterprises are a little easier, because you need to go in knowing what your shared Purpose is, and what Gifts and Passions you bring to the endeavour that complement (but don't seriously overlap) those of your prospective business partners. Not simple, but it's a bit more methodical than what I've seen among those in Natural Communities, whose members often seem to be drawn together for the strangest and most illogical reasons. It is very much a self-selection process, and a self-managed one. There are a huge number of Natural Communities that are perpetually in the formation stage, always looking for the right site, the right financing, but mostly, the right people. Never realized. Perhaps the best idea is just something like a big Open Space event, where you work very hard on the invitation, and let whoever shows up find affinity where they will.  Or maybe not. Those people who created Natural Enterprises by discovering the people who shared their Purpose and had complementary Gifts and Passions, those people who have created Natural Communities, mostly small but sometimes bigger, mostly physical but sometimes virtual, mostly fleeting but sometimes enduring -- these people all have one important thing in common: They know themselves. Every once in a while I find myself in the company of some physically stunning young woman who gives me the impression that she might be interested and I imagine her as part of the Natural Community I hope to create or discover...and then I think better of the idea. With very few exceptions, young people don't know themselves very well. They don't know what they want, only what they think they might want. They don't know where they belong or who they belong with. They have these dumb ideas of monogamy and parenthood and owning stuff, ideas that I have long outgrown and realized aren't what I want or who I am. I know who I am, now. It took me fifty fucking years but I know. I am only interested now in finding community with people who know themselves. Not perfectly, of course. Parts of us constantly emerge and surprise ourselves, and we look at them and say "how can that possibly be me?" but it is, and it's all good. One more piece of the puzzle, and we can see enough of it now that we recognize the overall picture, and know what's missing to make it complete. On Saturday I will probably disappoint a lot of the people at our second meeting. I am going to tell them that, rather than the Natural Community close to where we all live now that they've already picked out, a big, beautiful, hilly wetland East of the city, I would prefer to live in a Natural Community in a subtropical to tropical place, like Queensland (top photo above) or Costa Rica, or Belize (second photo above) or Açores, and that rather than a large modern house with suites and a common area I'd prefer to live in a community of adjoined small multi-purpose units blended into the landscape (like the third photo above) made from local materials, by the members, together. I will tell them that my dream is such a community with about 50 people in it, in the forest, not too far from the sea. I will tell them that my intention would be not to work hard there, but rather to spend my time in reflection, and writing, and in permaculture forest gardening, and that I would not be prepared to spend a lot of money or invest a lot of sweat equity because I don't think life should be or needs to be that much work, or that expensive. I will tell them that I'd like our tropical subsistence hobbit-like permaculture forest community to be open to others as a model, to show them not so much a better way to live, as how easy and simple and joyful and responsible and sustainable life can be when you don't complicate it unnecessarily. When you just be who you are. I will tell them all these things, even though they will be disappointed in me (and will probably indicate, subtly, that I might find something better to do with my time than attend the third meeting), because I know what I want, and who I am and what I want to be and do. This yet unfounded community, far from here, simple and sustainable and lazy and responsible, is where I am meant to live. I know that. In coming months, some of them will undoubtedly work desperately, idealistically, diligently, to make this promising fledgling community a success in the designated place East of the city, and will make themselves believe it's what they really want, and in the process make themselves into something that they're not just so they can be a part of this adventure, so that they can be admired and appreciated, and belong. Hey, not too long ago I would have done the same. I didn't know who I was, and I was prepared to try to be everybody else, if that's what they wanted. The only thing that can prevent us from being everybody else is to know ourselves. No one can be nobody-but-themselves if they don't know who that is. And we can't possibly know who we're meant to be in community with, all the people we're meant to live with and make a living with and love, sustainably, until we know who we are, what makes us happy, what makes us unique. What makes us us. That self-knowing is the start. It is the way out and the way forward. It is the only way. My self-knowing has taken an agonizingly long time, since I'm a slow learner. I repeat my mistakes because often I just don't recognize them as mistakes, if you can imagine anyone being that self-unaware.  I'm sure you can do better, make it in half the time. I can't tell you how, because it's probably different for everyone. But it's important. Maybe reading Patti's book will start you on your way. Maybe for you it's presencing, or meditation, or just paying attention. Maybe it's getting outside yourself, or getting outside your head. Maybe drugs might help. Maybe learn to really love yourself, or write your future obituary and work backwards. Become the author, at last, of your own story. Get out there and try stuff and discover what you really love being and doing, and where, and how, and why. Stop waiting or looking for permission to become who you want to be, who you really are. Know yourself. With self-knowledge, anything is possible. Without it, you are just everybody else. Category: Being Human

译文: 如何找到归宿

拜伦湾, 澳大利亚

岩洞河,伯利兹

上图的这个500sf 的家园是用当地健康且自然的材料建造成的 a woodland hill in Wales，既不破坏生态平衡也高效地利用了能源，花费约1500小时外加£3ooo(6000美金). 现在建造者们计划要造一整个包括这样的房屋的居所。

周六我去和一个临时组建的（特意）自然居所建设小组进行了第二次会议。那个曾经很出色地对被他邀请来参加第一次会议的18个很不同的人进行研究的家伙现在已经走开，他让小组自行组织。这是个具有创造力的举措。那些经过自行挑选，离开了团体的人不会再出现了，而我们每个人都已被邀请在周六带一些其他候选人来入会。因此那将是一个完全崭新的活动平台。

接受邀请去一间森林里的大房子和一大群陌生人见面，这的确是奇怪的经历。我觉得自己就好像身处于那些神秘电影里一样，在找寻有关“为什么我们都在那里”的线索！

创建一个不破毁生态平衡的自然居所着实是一个最伟大的挑战，就那点来说，似乎总能找到合适人选来构建一个自然群体（自然归宿的一种形式）。要想做到这一点，人们需要有一个共同的目标，相信，爱护团体中所有的其他伙伴。即使（你们之间）化学反应不佳，也没关系。

因此我开始回想我知道的自然群体，听说过的自然归宿，思考其成员是如何找到彼此使团队运作的。从某些方面来说，自然群体的构建比较简单一些，因为你需要做的就是了解你们共同的目标是什么，以及你需要投入哪些才能与热情使其与你那些未来的工作伙伴相互补充（但是不完全重叠）。这并不容易，但是比起我在自然归宿中看到的，已经来得有条理的多了。在自然归宿里，成员们总是看上去是为了最奇怪又不合逻辑的理由，形色疲倦的呆在一起。

这在很大程度上是一个自我挑选，自我管理的过程。有许多永远保持最佳竞技状态的自然群体，他们总在找寻恰当的位置，正确的资金(来源），不过最主要的是，合适的成员。也许从来没有意识到，最佳理念就象是一个巨型露天场所，你努力邀请别人加入，并让每一个出现的人找到热情。

也有可能不是这样。那些通过找寻与自己有共同目标，同时具有互补的天赋和热情的同伴来创立自然企业的人，那些已经创立了自然群落的人，他们多数规模 很小但有时大些，大部分应用物但有时更符合实际，大多稍纵即逝但有时会保持长久——这些人都有一个很重要的共同点：

他们了解自己。

每一次，当我发现自己所在的公司里有一个外貌出众的年轻女性，给我的印象是她可能会有兴趣,我就会把她想象成我所希望要建立或发现的自然群体的一部分...接着我就进一步思考了这个想法。除了极少的例外，年轻人不很了解他们自己。他们不知道自己真正想要些什么，只知道自己可能想要的东西。他们不清楚自己归属何处，归属于哪类人。他们只对关于一夫一妻制，父母身份，个人所有物之类的事有些无知的想法，这些想法是我早前就已经超 越的了，我发觉这些不是关于我想要什么或我是谁的想法。现在，我知道自己究竟是谁。尽管我花费了50年，但是我终究明白了。

现在我只对寻找那些成员都了解自己的团体感兴趣。当然，这不是绝对的。我们中的部分人经常会突现出来并令我们惊喜，每到那时，我们就会注视着他们并说“那怎么可能是我呢？”但是事实就是这样，而且这些都没什么不好。多一次迷惑，使我们现在足够了解整体蓝图是怎样的，也就知道缺少什么。

在星期六，我可能会令参加第二次会议的许多人感到失望。我将会告诉他们，比起他们已经挑选好的靠近我们现在的住处——那些又大又漂亮，位于城市东边有小斜坡的沼泽地的自然居所，我会选择地处亚热带到热带地区的自然居所，像是昆士兰州（上面最顶上的照片）或是哥斯达黎加，又或是伯利兹城（上面的第二幅照片）或是Açores；而比起一个宽敞的配备套间和公用场地的现代住房，我会选择住在这样的居所：它将互相毗邻的小型多功能房与自然风景混合一体（就像是上面的第三幅照片）,这样的居所由当地材料建成，靠成员们共同的努力。

我会告诉他们我梦想的居所是这样的: 50个成员，位于森林之中，离大海不很远。我会告诉他们我的目的并不是在那工作，而是在那思考，写作，从事森林园艺，我不会花费大量钱财或是从事艰苦的工作，因为我认为生活不应该也不需要如此多的工作，如此奢侈。我会告诉他们我希望我们的热带生存之道，像哈比人一样的园林修养社区向他人开放，成为一个示范，不是向他们展示更好的生活方式，而是让他们知道未必要多复杂，而是在你只做自己时，就能过一种简单，轻松，愉快，可靠，不破坏生态平衡的生活。

尽管他们会对我感到失望（可能会隐晦得暗示我比起参加第三次会议，我可以利用这时间找到更好的事去做），但我依旧会告诉他们所有这些，因为我知道自己想要什么，是怎样的人，想要成为怎样的人，想要做些什么。这个到现在还没有成为现实的自然归宿，离这里很远，它简单，环保，悠闲，可靠——它就是我想要去居住的地方。我清楚这一点。

在未来的几个月，他们中的一些人无意会拼命，理想化，勤勉地工作，这都是为了要在指定好的地方，城市的东边成功地建造这个充满希望又刚刚起步的自然居所，这也会让他们自己相信：这就是他们真正想要的，在此过程中他们会成为与以往不同的人，他们就可以、成为这次冒险中的一部分。他们将被钦佩赞赏，找到归属。嘿，不久之前，我也做过同样的事。我不知道自己究竟是谁，如果任何其他人愿意，我就愿意变成他们。

唯一能够防止我们变成其他人的方法就是了解自己。没有人可以在不了解自己的情况下成为独一无二的个体。直到我们知道我们是谁，什么会令我们幸福，什么会令我们独一无二，我们才可能知道我们想在团体中成为怎样的人，我们想和谁生活在一起，充满着爱，持续地生活下去。

自我了解是一个开始。它是让我们脱离困境，向前进的方法。它是唯一的出路。因为我是个领悟能力超慢的人，我的自我了解是一段长时间苦闷的过程。因为我常常意识不到错误，所以我总会重复错误，我就是你想象中的那种没有自我意识的人。

我相信你们会做得更好，用我一半的时间就能完成这个任务。我无法告诉你们如何去做，因为这可能因人而异。但这确实很重要。也许读Patti`s的书会帮你找到方法，使你开始。也许对你们而言它已存在，或是存还在冥想中，又或是在你专注的时候出现。也许你要解放自己，放飞你的思想。也许一些药剂能帮助你。也许你要学着真正地去爱自己，或者写下你未来的计划，往后继续工作。最后，成为一个书写你自己故事的作者。从那里解脱出来吧，去尝试你真正想做的事，去挖掘真正想变成的那个自己，知道自己想去哪，怎么去，为什么。不要再空等别人的允许，做那个你真正想成为的自己，那个真正的你。

了解自己。有了自我了解，一切皆有可能。

否则，你只会成为其他人。