Almost half of us have been romantically tied to someone from work, and many more would like to find amour in a neighboring cubicle. You’ve got to be smart about this, you have to really think about what you’ve got to lose and what you’ve got to gain.
There are co-workers who meet and fall in love at the office - or, maybe, just have a fling. And then there are married co-workers who meet and fall in love at work - or, maybe, just have a fling.
If the first camp presents ample opportunities for workplace distraction and drama, just think of the dust storms the second camp can kick up - you know, angry spouses showing up in the lobby.
It may be difficult to see what there is to lose when diving into a relationship with the love of your life (for real, this time). But in the worst-case scenario a soured romance could damage your professional reputation, cost you your job or result in sexual harassment charges. Be prepared for office gossip, jealousy, tension and a lack of space, not to mention the possibility you’ll have to keep working with your sweetheart after a breakup.
Find out if your company has policies on dating. It may forbid or strongly discourage relationships between certain people in the company or require you to report the relationship when it begins.
A lot of employers pretty strongly discourage romances because if there is a breakup or spat it affects everyone else in the office.
According to the annual Office Romance Survey, 48 per cent of 945 employees surveyed say they’ve known of a married colleague who cheated on his or her spouse with someone at work.
Are people that open? Are they that blatant? Or are they being ousted by someone? There is the unlikelihood of keeping such activity under wraps in the workplace.
And while finding out about single colleagues who are dating one another may generate a little buzz, the involvement of married workers really gets the gossip mill fired up.
It can lead to results such as losing out on a raise or a promotion once the boss finds out - unless, of course, you are the boss. It’s fun to fall in love, but remember that you’ve worked too hard to jeopardize your work reputation by being distracted, missing deadlines and letting your projects suffer,
While workplace alliances are not among the top “precipitating factors” it happens not infrequently.” In some cases, two marriages end up being dissolved.
You’ll do yourself a favor by taking things slow. Before the relationship gets serious, be sure both of you have the maturity, judgment and tact to handle a potentially intense emotional experience in a work environment. If your honey shares intimate information with co-workers or blows up at you in the office, both of you will suffer the consequences.
So, if you’re married, and are considering making a play for a work colleague, here’s some advice “Stay the hell away.
“It can give rise to all kinds of complications and disappointments,” he says. “It could result in your losing your job, losing friends or losing your spouse. It’s not a good idea.”
If handled responsibly, an office love affair can be rewarding. Just make sure you weigh the professional risks with the personal rewards of your particular situation before falling head-over-heels.
译文:
办公室恋情利与弊
差不多半数的人都曾与工作伙伴有过风花雪夜的罗曼史,而更多的人则倾向于与公司同事发展恋情. 当你决定发展一段办公室恋情时,你就得理智自省了,你将从这段恋情中失去什么,得到什么呢.
有些人在办公室里见久生情,陷入爱河---或只是寻求一时刺激.也有一些已婚的人在共同工作中日久生情,梅开二度----抑或只是寻求一时刺激.
如果一个公司,员工有太多为爱分神之机或制造罗曼戏剧意外的话,那么离后院起火不远矣----比如,一个气极败坏的员工配偶在公司大厅中大吵大闹,丢人显眼.
若这份感情是命中真爱,那你就很难看到为这份感情你有何所失了(这里所指是那种真心实意的爱恋). 但若不幸, 是畸恋的话,那么你将面临的有名誉扫地,丢失工作,或性骚扰起诉等结果.你要等着应对办公室中的流言蜚语,嫉妒诽谤,草木皆兵,个人空间缺失, 更不用说当你和办公室恋人分手后两人再在一起工作是何其别扭了.
看看你的公司是否对谈恋爱有特别规定. 是否强烈禁止办公室恋情呢, 或是有特殊规定要上报办公室恋爱呢.
很多雇主都强烈反对办公室恋情,因为当一对办公室恋人分手或发生口角时,这也会影响到办公室里的其他人的.
一年一度的爱情调查中, 945名受访者中的48%表示,他们的已婚同事中有人对配偶不忠,与同事发生婚外情.
这些人真的这样开放?他们就这样无耻?或者他们不过是被配偶捷足先登而错过了爱情?在办公室中要掩藏这种事于众目睽睽之下似乎不大可能.
当办公室中的某位单身同事与另一同事谈恋爱时总能微微击起波澜,而在已婚人士的推波助澜下,流言蜚语甚嚣尘上.
其结果往往是当老板觉察时,当事人丢掉饭碗或失掉晋升的机会,当然如果你是老板则另当别论了.谈恋爱是一件美妙的事,但请记住,切不可过分沉迷而影响工作,耽误工作,导致工作声誉受损.
而且,因工作互助而结合并非是很明智的”恋爱诱因”, 两个人能长久结合的极少,只有极少数的人会因此而离婚.
你首先要帮助自己将事情缓和下来.在你们的关系进一步发展之前,先确保你们俩都能足够成熟,有足够判断力,能足够圆滑的处理你们将在办公室中造成的潜在情感敏感局面.如果你的恋人将你们的私人密事与众分享,或在办公室中大肆吹嘘,那么最后结果都将是你们不可承担的.
因此,如果你是已婚人士并有意与某人发展办公室恋情,那么以下是一些建议,让你”远离地狱”.
“可能是困难种种,或沮丧失意,”过来人如是说,”也有可能是你丢掉饭碗,失去朋友或失去伴侣.这些都不是好事.”
若处理得当,办公室恋情则应是值得称道的.但是在你头脑发热一头扎进爱河前请先把你工作上的失与你个人上的得掂量掂量吧.