Each week Michele Borba answers your parenting questions right here on her blog. If you have a parenting problem or question leave a comment on this post and you may have yours answered next week! 
I currently live in Japan with my husband and our 5-month-old daughter. We are moving back to the United States in two months. I am worried about the stress the move will have on the baby: all new people, new foods, even a new ambient language. She will be meeting all her relatives for the first time. Also, I have been home with her until now, but I'll be going back to work two weeks after we get back, and my husband will be watching her during the day.
Do you have any suggestions for how to make these major life changes easier for our daughter? Also, do you have any good tricks for helping small children cope with jet lag?
I can understand your stress about moving with a child. The good news is that you couldn’t have planned this better. The best time to move children where the impact of the move is the
least is when they are under one year of age. That’s because their main concern is mom and dad. While there will be some stress, the real way they pick it up is through you. So keep yourself as relaxed and calm as possible. (I know, I know, but try. Babies do pick up on our signals). Don’t pack those most important things that give comfort to your daughter (her blankey or a stuffed animal), but bring them with you. Pack her crib at the last minute and she should be fine.
Since you will be changing caregivers, keep to a schedule such as the same feeding and play routines as well as the bedtime routines. Write those up so you and your husband adhere to those. Doing so will help her feel more secure.
The only red flag is that your daughter is at the age when usually separation anxiety creeps in. It’s normal and to be expected, but it is when she really will show a preference – usually mom – for a caregiver. She might cry or appear quite anxious when all those other relatives start making a fuss over her. Your best bet is to warn them all ahead to please go slowly and let your daughter warm up to them. Any one who is a parent will understand. Otherwise, you explain. Your daughter has plenty of time to get to know folks but right now too many folks making a fuss over her isn’t the right move.
Language should not be a problem. Just speak to her in the tongue you would like her most to speak. The early years of life are when children are most adaptable to languages – if we’d only teach foreign languages earlier!
As to jet lag, my only recommendation is a personal one. Whenever I flew when my kids were younger I’d try to get the flight that left late at night (midnight) and landed first thing in the morning. They’d sleep through the flight (heaven!) and wake up closer to their time zone. The worst flight was the one when they would fly all during the day and land during the day. Those flights took the most time to recover from and get them onto the new time zone. The other option is to gradually change her regular sleep schedule – which can take a few weeks – and put her down to bed later and later so she won’t be on quite so severe of a time zone change once she lands.
Hope all goes well, Mom. And welcome back to the United States!
Michele Borba
Click here to read more of Michele Borba's Q&As, or leave a comment below with your own questions and it may be answered next week.
Get more info from
TODAY on iVillage.
Dr. Michele Borba is the author of
No More Misbehavin': 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them .
译文:
孩子与搬家
每周Michele Borba 都会在她的博客里面回答你们的养育孩子的问题。如果你有这方面的疑问或问题，你可以在这篇文章上发表你的评论，或者下星期你就可以得到问题的答案。
我和我的丈夫以及五个月大的女儿现在住在日本。两个月后我们将会搬回到美国住。我担心搬家会给我的女儿带来压力：新面孔，新食物，甚至周围说的语言也不一样。她将会第一次见到她所有的亲戚。现在我还在家带孩子，但是我们搬回去之后的两个星期，我将要去上班了，白天则是由我的丈夫来带她。
你能给我点意见关于怎么样才能使我的孩子更好地适应这些生活上的变化吗？而且你有没有什么点子能让小孩子不惧怕时差呢？
我能够理解你带着小孩搬家的压力。但是好在你现在已经计划得好好了。孩子低于一岁的时候搬家对他们的影响是最小的。因为他们的注意力只要是在他们的父母身上。如果他们有压力的话，那压力也是来源于父母。所以你要尽可能的保持放松以及平静。（我知道，我知道，但是要努力，孩子正在看着你呢）。那些最能给你的孩子安慰的东西（例如她的宠物）最好不要打包，你们带着就好了。最后一刻打包她的床，她会没事的。
既然你们要换人照顾孩子，就按照时间表来吧，比如吃饭，玩耍，睡觉的时间要固定。然后你和你的丈夫就遵循这个时间表。这样做会让孩子觉得更有安全感。
唯一的问题是你的女儿到了能够感知分离所带来的焦虑感的年龄。这是正常的行为，但是她会比较偏爱于妈妈的关怀。当其他的亲戚对她表现出关怀之情时，她或许会哭或者会很焦急。你最好事先和你的亲戚打个招呼，叫他们不要着急，让你的小孩逐步来接受他们。已为人父母的人会理解这些的。要不然的话你就解释一下。你的女儿有很长的时间来了解他们，但是他们现在对小孩过于热情的关怀却不适宜。
语言不会是个问题。你希望她常说什么话，你就和她说什么话。孩子年幼的时候是学习语言的最佳时期——如果我们当初也能早点学习外语，那多好啊！
说到时差呢，我的建议只是我的个人观点。在我的孩子年幼的时候，每次坐飞机，我都会尽量选择在半夜起飞而在天亮时到达的航班，在飞行的过程中他们就睡着了。醒来的时间也和他们的时间区域吻合。最糟糕的航班就是他们是在白天飞行，然后也在白天登陆。坐这些航班你最需要时间来恢复并适应新的区时。其他的方法就是逐渐该改变你的孩子的日常作息时间，这可能会需要几周的时间。把她的睡觉时间逐渐往后推，这样当她坐飞机的时候就不会对时差有太大的反应。
这位妈妈，希望你一切顺利吧！欢迎回到美国！
Michele Borba