Does anyone else cringe when they hear the term "networking"? The term, when defined as "making social connections in the interest of your career," is about as cold as you can get. And yet, we all feel like this is something we're supposed to be doing. "Never eat alone," the business pundits tell us. It's even worse when such networking is scheduled. You go to a conference and scheduled between the keynote lecture and lunch are 45 minutes marked "Networking Time" (of course, you assume that the conference coordinators just wanted one less speaker to pay). And all the while, you feel as if it's all pretense, with everyone simply looking for more business (after all, they didn't order a thousand business cards last week for nothing).
Are you a cynic? Sure. But can anyone blame you? Probably not.
The mindset of my generation (18-34) is a cynical one -- a mindset that desires authenticity and is skeptical of randomly nice people (after all, how many times has a "nice person" turned out to be selling insurance, CUTCO knives, or a spot in their MLM downline?). So the idea of people befriending you with an agenda other than friendship is a bit disconcerting. So what's a potential entrepreneur to do? Obviously, you need the connections, but at the same time, you can't stand the "game." Well, here are five mindsets to take with you next time you shudder at the thought of networking.
You're Making Friends I once read about a woman who was asked, "Do you have a network?" to which she replied, "I have friends." Don't see other people as utilties -- see them (and treat them) as friends. Don't make it your goal to find out their skillset and positioning in your industry. Instead, find out who they are, what you have in common, and all the other normal things that make a person a "someone." Although discussing one's work is often an intricate part of any conversation, if you can't talk as casual friends first, you may be coming across as just a marketer.
Help Their Goal, Not Yours Too many people look at skilled workers as simply assets to accomplish
their own thing. They see an accountant and think, "He can help with my taxes." They see a web designer and think, "He can help my personal website." Never do they think that these people have greater goals themselves. Perhaps the accountant is trying to finance a charity for third-world countries or the web designer is organizing some grand web community. But instead, they're recruited to help with taxes and personal websites. Instead of fitting people into your goals, find out what
their big dreams are, and try helping them out.
Expect Nothing Don't treat relationships as a zero-sum game, expecting an equal return for any help you give out. Workers-for-hire do this, not friends. When you enter into a continuing dialogue with another person, be willing to help them out even if there's nothing in it for you. Helping others grow their business is not easily forgotten and helpfulness doesn't often go unrewarded. Plus, if you expect nothing (and keep a good attitude), you'll never be disappointed or unnecessarily upset.
Follow the Flow Get the word "networking" out of your head -- it's far too mechanical and impersonal for real-world scenarios. You shouldn't become "not you" just to get your elevator pitch in or to get your business card in their pocket. You may never talk business your first meeting. Or they may have no interest in what you do at first. Don't try to steer the conversation to where you want it to be. Just relax, hold a normal conversation, and do what fits. Any pretense or forced conversation will be very obvious to your new acquaintance.
Nice Guys Finish First You don't need lofty position or a rapier wit to impress strangers. In fact, I think the best "networking" method is simply being sincerely nice to everyone you meet. At the end of the day, people will remember who just told jokes, who just talked about their company, and who was actually positive and sincere about what they do. Try to be in this last category and people will respect you.
So the next time you find yourself among business card-toting strangers, there's no reason to go into cynic mode (at least, not until they try to sell you health supplements). Just be real, be yourself, and try to keep these few points in mind...
译文:
5种意识重塑你的社交网
听到“社交”一词有恐惧感吗？它被定义成“为个人职业利害进行的外交。”你所获得的是冷漠。这是我们一直都默认的。业界前辈劝告我们，“决不单干”。即使最糟糕的社交关系。你参加会议一般演讲和午餐时安排花45分钟用作“社交时间”（当然，你可认为会议主持者希望少一个发言人）。同时，你感觉好像是假的，每个人简单的看上去很忙（毕竟，他们没有为无关紧要的人准备许多名片）
你畏惧吗？当然，别人会指责你？可能不会。我们（18-34）这代意识是畏惧- 一种意识需要可靠性(毕竟，很多时间是“好人”成为保险销售人CUTCO knives,或MLM spot.).人们亲近你代替其它朋友关系。所以潜在企业家？显然，你需要处及，相同，你不能靠这个“规则”。恩，这里5种意识让你在思考社交时畏惧。
交朋友
曾经我读过一则故事关于一个女人被问，“你有社交网吗？”她回答到，“我有朋友们”，不懂其它人对待朋友像他们利用别人一样。不要让你的专业技能和定位成为社交的理由。相反，和普通人交往，融入他们。虽然讨论一个人的职业经常是一个比较复杂的话题，如你不能和一般朋友第一次就谈这个，你可以像营销员避开此。
帮助他们找到目标，而不是为你。
许多人是技术能手用有限的资源实现自己的目标。他们了解会计师及其思维，“他能在税务方面帮我”。他们了解网络设计师及其思维，“他能在我的个人网站方面帮助我。”他们从不认为这些人有远大的目标。可能会计师为第三世界国家筹措善款或由网络设计师组织一些重要的Web 社区。改变，因你的目标而交往的人，找出他们的目标并帮助他们实现。
不要指望
不要把关系弄的像零和游戏一样，期望得到你所付出同等的回报。工作像这样，就没有朋友。你在与其它人讨论时，可能帮助他们解决问题如果对你来说不算什么的话。帮助他们增长业务不是的简单忘记无用的不需要报酬。另外，如果你不指望什么（保持良好的心态），你决不会感到失望或多余。
跟随潮流
让“社交”在我们的脑海里淡出- 它太机械化和现实个人化 .你不应该变成“不是原来的你”就像你在电梯间营销或让他们接收你的名片。你可以第一次会面中不谈业务，他们可能对你初次所做的不感兴趣。不要在对话中掌握主动权。放松下，就像普通会面并融入进去。对于你新认识的人中任何借口或有意会面是很明显的 。
好人命不好
你不需要高职位或留给陌生人深刻印象。其实，我认为最好的“社交”方式是朴素真诚对待每个你相遇的人。一天结束后，人们会记得谁讲过的笑话，谁谈论过他们的公司，谁又是工作最积极认真的。试着做最后一类，你会得到人们的尊敬。
所以下次你在商务圈中感到自己没有理由畏惧（至少，他们向你出售保健品）。这就是真实的自己，你自己要有这几点认识。