原文: Dr. P's Top 10 Back-To-School Tips

"BACK TO SCHOOL" - 3 words certain to fill your children's hearts with despair and yours with joy. It's an annual rite of passage and a good time to take stock: How can you help your kids to make this school year academically productive, socially fulfilling, and safe as can be?

Here, in no particular order, are my top 10 suggestions. Feel free to share your own.

1. Get organized! Plaster a monthly/yearly school calendar on the refrigerator to highlight upcoming events, deadlines, etc. Figure out and agree on morning routines: when to get up, bathroom rules and time, getting dressed, eating a decent breakfast, etc. in a "no nagging required" environment.

2. Talk things over. Arrange a "planned discussion" with each of your kids to talk about his/hers and your academic goals for this year. Is there anything she is particularly anxious about? Be sure you include your expectations for performance - just make sure they are appropriate (perhaps a tad high) and fair, linked to his/her talents and potential. If she's a brainiac, then good grades are reasonable to expect. If an average student, don't set the bar so high she is sure to fail. Remind her that what you really expect is for her to try hard and do her best, no matter what her final grades may be. Discuss expectations for completing homework. Construct positive (hopefully) self-fulfilling prophecies about the year. Reassure her that a lot of kids are anxious at the first day of school, but you know she'll handle this just fine, as she usually does. Remind her about the good things that happened last year.

3. Talk some more. What are his/her social goals? Is he looking to make new friends? How might he best accomplish that? What might be some of the social challenges this year? Ask about what's important for social status in school this year (it changes on a dime). What kind of clothes, shoes, backpacks, hair styles are in? It's important to give this some sort of adult perspective but - make no mistake - social status is very important to all of us, and your kids are no exception. So don't belittle their feelings and desire to fit in, rather help them to achieve that within the values and aesthetics and monetary constraints of your family. Allow him/her to pick his/her own school supplies and clothes, but within an agreed-upon budget and your veto power in extreme circumstances (like too-sexy clothing). Click on the above image to read the very funny Onion parody of necessary school supplies.


4. Discuss and rehearse walking to school safety. Have your child walk (with or without adult supervision, depending on his age) to school if possible. It's great low-tech exercise and a wonderful time to socialize with friends in the great outdoors. Find a couple of reliable pals to walk with each day. Review pedestrian safety. Take a rehearsal walk or two, noting potential dangers along the way. Find a direct, safe route with the maximum crossing guard support. Be sure she always crosses at a crosswalk (or at least a corner). Be sure she understands to look for a green light and walk sign. Be sure she knows to stop at the curb, look left and then right and then left again (unless you're British), and listen while crossing all streets. Beware parked cars or other obstacles blocking vision of the street.

5. Go over appropriate response to strangers. Role play: What if a nice stranger came up to you and asked to help him to look for his poor, sad, missing dog? What if he offers you a ride on a rainy day? How about some candy, little girl? Does it matter what he or she looks like? You don't want to make your kids abduction fearful, just stranger wise.

6. If your child is taking a bus, the biggest danger is getting on and off. Go for a bus ride together and show him how to wait at the curb 10 giant steps away from the bus for the driver to stop, how to be in clear view of the driver at all times (don't walk behind the bus!), how to be very careful and make sure all oncoming cars have stopped and the driver has signaled it OK to cross. Be sure to pick a safe spot in the neighborhood for boarding and exiting the bus. Go over your expectations for conduct on the bus. Encourage him to feel safe to discuss any bad experiences on the bus (like bullying or teasing).


7. Don't overdo the weight in the backpack! Don't let your child tote more than 10-15% of his/her body weight in the backpack. Encourage him/her to wear both shoulder straps (to evenly distribute the weight) and to keep the straps tight, so the weight rests against the mid and lower back. Buy a lightweight (but of course, very cool-looking) backpack with padded shoulders, padded back and waist strap so that the bottom of the pack sits a few inches above the back of the waist. Teach your child to pack the heaviest items in the center. Encourage him/her to lighten the load in the school locker during the day. In a pinch, rolling backpacks are catching on (but are tough in the snow).

8. Go over potential bullying experiences with your child. Remind him this happens, but is mean and unacceptable and not to be encouraged. Tell him/her if it happens to TALK: tell the bully you don't like what s/he has done and that it isn't nice or fair, and WALK: Walk away. Bullies like victims who are passive and come back for more, and SQUAWK: Tell the teachers or parents. Bullies prefer kids who keep silent so they can go about their nasty business without consequences. As a parent, get the school involved in teaching about bullying.


9. Discuss the unmentionable: toileting in school (if you don't who will?). For a surprising number of kids this is the most anxiety-provoking part of the school day. In great discomfort, they'll hold it all in rather than face what might await them in the bathroom. Remind them you expect them to ask to go in school whenever they need to go, and to tell the teacher or you if there are any problems in the bathroom. Role play what they might do if someone makes fun of them or offers a cigarette (or worse) in the bathroom.


10 . Whoops, can't think of a #10, so I'll resort to my usual:

Enjoy your kids! Enjoy the ride! Some day soon you'll wonder how it all went by so fast and why you didn't appreciate it more as it was happening.

Related Topics:

• Back to School in a Wired World
• WebMD Video: Tips to Get Your Kids Out of Bed and Off to School

Technorati Tags: back to school, safety, pediatrics, health and wellness

译文: 重返校园

      重返校园这四个字当然会让你的孩子郁郁寡欢，而你则会心花怒放。每年的这个时候都是你要好好思考的时候：你怎么能够使得你的孩子在这个学年里能够尽可能的丰富知识、积累阅历，当然还有保障安全。

      下面是我认为最重要的十条的建议。没有先后之分，你可以随意分享。

      一、做好规划。 在冰箱上面粘上一张月历或者年历，把那些就快到来的大日子或者是最后期限等等标记出来。共同制定并且遵守“清晨流程”。例如：什么时间起床，要在什么时间怎样洗澡，穿好衣服，吃一顿安稳的早餐等等。一定记得千万不要唠叨。

      二、仔细交谈。为你和你的每一个孩子安排一次关于他或她在这个学年里面学业计划以及你对他们的期望的“计划讨论”。 这里可能会有他们最为担心的一点，就是你可能会对他们的表现有过高的期望。所以要制定适宜他们天分和潜质的目标才是。如果他很聪明，那么希望他取得好成绩是理所当然，如果是普通的孩子，那么就不要好高骛远。一定告诉孩子们，无论他们最终的成绩是什么，你最希望看到的是他们努力奋斗的过程。（在这个时候）你要告诉孩子们你多么希望他们能够完成每一项作业；要建立这一年里面切实能够实现的积极的目标；要鼓励孩子们很多人第一天上学时候都会紧张焦虑，而你相信他们可以像平常一样妥善处理，还要和他们一起回顾去年在学校里那些愉悦的经历。

      三、经常交流。他或者她的交际目标是什么？他是不是想要结交新朋友？他如何能够交到好朋友？这一年他遇到的交际方面的挑战是什么？问问他今年什么对于他在学校里面的形象是很重要的？这可是随时都可能变化的）今年流行的衣服、鞋子、背包还有发型是什么样子？这需要你用成年人的目光去审视，不过千万不要弄错，社会形象对于我们所有人来说都是很重要的，你的孩子也不例外。所以，不要轻视他们的看法而是要学会接纳，甚至在家庭经济条件允许以及符合审美观和价值观的情况下帮他们满足他们的想法。允许他们自己准备学习用品和衣服，但是一定是在已经协商好的范围之内，当他们确实过火时候（比如穿着过于性感）你当然可以行使你的否决权。点击上面的图片你就可以看到那些形状各异的所谓的学习用品。

      四、 谈论并且试着步行去学校。如果可能的话，可以让你的孩子步行上学（是否需要家长陪同，视孩子的年龄决定）。这是一项不需要什么技术的运动，而且也是在户外与人交往的好时机。找到几个信得过的好朋友一起步行上学。考虑到步行的安全性，你可以试着走一两次以确保在路上不会有什么潜在的危险。找一条直接安全且过马路有最完善安全保障的线路。一定确保孩子每次过马路都会走人行横道，他们能够切实的明白要看绿灯过马路，还有停下来的时候一定要靠边。要记得要过马路的时候，一定先左右看看，听听然后再走(在英国除外)。一定要注意那些停着的车或者是可能会阻挡视线的障碍物。

      五、提醒孩子如何应答陌生人。让我们来一次角色扮演游戏，例如一个看去很和善的人走过来请你帮他寻找他可怜的失踪的狗应该怎么办？如果在雨天有人主动要载你一程又该如何？或者是个甜美可爱的小姑娘呢？对方长的如何是不是至关重要呢？如果你不想你的孩子被诱拐的话，那么一定对于陌生人多加小心。

      六、如果你的孩子乘车上学的话，最大的危险可能会出在上下车的时候。和孩子一起去乘车，并且告诉他们应该在至少离汽车十大步的路边怎么等车，如何能够一直保持司机能够清晰的看到自己（千万不要走到车后面去），要如何仔细的确定迎面开来的汽车已经停稳并且司机已经明确的表示可以上车了。一定要选取一个离家比较近的地点让孩子上下车。告诉他们你希望他们在乘车的时候应该遵守的规则。鼓励孩子说出他们在车上遇到的任何不好的行为，例如威胁或者是嘲讽。

      七、不要让书包过重。不要让你的孩子背负超过他或者她体重10%到15%的书包。让他们尽量背双肩背（以平均负担重量）而且把书包带拉紧，这样书包主要的重量就能落在后背的中部和下部。给孩子买个时髦而且轻便的书包，背带和背部要有衬垫，腰部要有带子，这样书包底部就会刚刚高出腰部几英寸而已。教会你的孩子把最重的东西放在书包中间。鼓励他或者她把一部分物品放在学校的储物柜里面以减轻负重。如果有必要，带滚轮的书包也是个不错的选择（但是下雪时候会更麻烦）

      八、告诉孩子有可能会遇到的恐吓的情况。告诉孩子这的确有可能发生，虽然几率很小，但是是不应该出现更不值得鼓励的。告诉他或者她，如果受到恐吓，不要不做声，告诉恐吓的人你不喜欢他们的所作所为，而且他们这么做是非常不好的，然后走开。恐吓者喜欢那些消极怯懦的人，而且他们会得寸进尺，还可以大声呼叫，告诉老师或者父母自己遭到了恐吓，那些恐吓者们喜欢那些缄默不语的孩子，所以他们可以肆无忌惮的继续这种勾当。作为父亲或者母亲，也可以建议或者要求学校对于恐吓这类事件进行教育。

      九、谈论那些难以启齿的事情：例如学校的厕所问题（如果你不说，那谁来说呢？）你可能都无法预料有多少孩子认为这是在学校里最令人焦急和愤怒的事情。他们宁可忍着，也不愿意面对洗手间里的一切。叮嘱孩子在学校里只要觉得想去洗手间就一定要去。然后告诉老师或者父母洗手间里发生的问题。如果有人在洗手间里面捉弄孩子，或者是给他烟抽（也许可能更糟），告诉孩子一定要告知家长或老师。

      十、呵呵，想不到第十条了，所以我就把我自己常常说的加进来吧。

      欣赏你的孩子，享受每一次出行！在不久的某一天你可能会感叹这一切转瞬即逝，而你自己为什么在它发生的时候意识到呢？