Even once you’re an adult, there are dozens of occasions you’ll want to stay at your parents’ home.
Whether you’re a student wanting somewhere to sleep rent-free during the summer, a broke graduate needing a base to job-hunt from, or simply in town for an extended holiday, here’s eight easy and sure-fire ways to be a great guest in your parents' home (and to be sure you're invited back!).
- Show up with flowers or another small gift
Even if you’re a full time undergraduate, presenting your mom with a giant bag of laundry the minute you walk in the door might not make the best first impression. How about picking up a bunch of cheerful flowers on the way home (they don’t have to be pricy) or a box of chocolates? My college sold bottles of wine and port with the college crest on the label. Those made for nice gifts.
If you work full-time and are just popping home for a few days, the same still goes; take along a little gift that is associated with your home city or state.
- Make yourself at home but don’t take them for granted
Unless your parents have moved since you lived at home, you probably know where everything is kept. Don’t stand on ceremony. Help yourself to coffee, but ask if anyone else wants one too. Get your own snacks, though check you’re not inadvertently eating your younger sister’s last cookie.
Don’t take your parents for granted, though. Inviting a bunch of friends over without asking, then raiding the liquor cabinet, is unreasonable behavior.
- Help out with chores without being asked
One guaranteed way to impress your mom and dad is to do any little chores you spot – without them having to ask. If they’ve gone to work or shopping and you’re in the house, why not do the washing up, unpack the dishwasher, give the bathroom a quick clean, or put on a load of laundry for them?
It doesn’t take up much of your time and it’s worth it for the look on your mom’s face when she comes home and realizes the “washing-up fairy” has magically changed a heap of dirty dishes into neatly-stacked clean ones.
- Offer to cook dinner
This one might depend on your culinary skills but if you’re at home for an extended stay, offer to cook dinner at least once a week. (If you really can’t cook, at least offer to help your mom or dad when they’re preparing a meal – perhaps you could chop up veg or prepare a salad.)
Preparing a meal also works well if you’re visiting home for a particular occasion. My boyfriend and I cooked a three-course Mothers’ day lunch for my mother and grandmother this year and it was very well received!
- Tell them if you’re going out
One of the nice things about independent adult life is the ability to come and go as you please. But when you’re staying with your parents, it’s courteous to let them know that you’re going out and give them an idea of when you’ll be back.
- Spend quality time with them – join in with family activities
Don’t just treat your parents’ place as a free motel to crash at when you stagger home in the early hours. Spend a few evenings with your family; maybe seeing a movie (even if it’s not quite what you’d have picked), or going bowling or to the ice rink with them.
If you have younger siblings, this is a great way to reconnect with them. Yes, you’ve grown up and perhaps grown apart in the past few years – but you might find you now have new things in common.
- Be willing to adjust your routine to match your family’s
Student sleeping habits can sometimes be a little … different … to those of the rest of the world. If you habitually go to bed at four am and rise in time for a late lunch, you may need to modify your schedule a bit. The same goes for mealtimes – maybe you normally order a late-night pizza, but your family eats dinner at six.
Try to fit in with family life, even if that means learning how to get up early.
- Send a “thank you for having me” note
After a visit to your parents’, you should send a thank you note (sometimes known as a “bread-and-butter note”). It doesn’t need to be long; just use a nice note card and write something like, “Thank you for having me to stay last week. It was great to catch up with everyone, and wonderful to have some home cooking!”
Your parents probably won’t expect to get a note, so it’s a nice way to surprise them and to ensure that you’ll be welcome back next time!
Are you a regular guest in your parents’ home, with tips on how to make the visit go smoothly? Or do you have student kids who regularly appear on the doorstep and take you for granted? Let us know your experiences!
 | Written on 11/21/2008 by Ali Hale. Ali runs Alpha Student, a blog packed with academic, financial and practical tips to help students get the most out of their time at university. | Photo Credit: jasonatennui |
译文:
怎样在你父母家里成为一位受赞赏的客人
即使你已是成人，也会有很多时候想留在父母家里。 不管你是一个想在夏天找一个免费的住处的学生，一个找工作需要基础的穷毕业生，还是仅想在一个长的假期里留在城镇，以下有八种简单且必定成功的方法，让你在父母家里成为一位受赞赏的客人（保证你会被再次邀请）。
- 带着鲜花或其他小礼物上门
即使你是一名全日制大学生，带着一大袋要洗的衣服走进家门出现在你妈妈面前的那一瞬间，你不能给她最好的第一印象。回家路上顺便带上一束令人愉悦的鲜花（它们不一定是要买价钱贵的）或一盒巧克力，主意怎样？我的同学卖的是标签上有同事纹章的啤酒和波尔图葡萄酒。那可是被当成了很好的礼物。
如果你是全职工作，只是突然回家几天，一样要这样做；捎上点跟家庭或家乡有关的小礼物。
- 在家无拘束但不要不重视父母
你住在家中以后，除非你的父母移动过，否则你可以知道东西都放在那里。不用客套。自己喝咖啡，但要记得问一声还有谁要喝。吃你自己的零食，要确定你没有无意中吃了妹妹最后剩的那些饼干。即使这样也不要不把父母不当回事。没问过父母便邀请一群朋友来家里，还扫荡了饮料贮藏柜，这种行为是不合理的。
- 没被要求但可以帮忙做家务
一种能打动你父母且有保障的方法就是随手做一点家务——不必他们出声。如果他们出去上班或购物了，而你留在家里，何不做些清洗工作，整理一下洗碗柜，快速打扫一下浴室，或者为他们洗好一堆衣服？
这并不会占用你很多的时间，为了你妈妈脸上的表情是值得的，她回到家会发现“洗衣机神话”已经奇迹般把一堆凌乱的脏衣服变成了叠放整齐的衣服。
- 提供晚餐
这一项取决于你的烹饪技术，但如果你长期留在家中，至少一个星期煮一次晚餐。（如果你实在不会煮，至少在你父母准备煮饭的时候在一旁协助他们——也许你可以切菜或准备沙拉。）
假如你回家遇上一个特殊的场合，准备一顿饭也能收到很好的效果。今年我和我的男友在母亲节为我母亲和祖母煮了三道菜，很受欢迎！
- 如果你要外出请告诉他们
独立成年人生活中一件美好的事情就是可以随心所欲的往来。但当你正与父母住在一起时，要让他们知道你要出门了并且让他们了解你回来的时间。
- 与他们共度一段亲情时间——参与家庭活动
你能在早些时候踉跄回到家时，不要把你父母家当成一间可免费睡觉的旅馆。与你的家人一起度过几个晚上；可以和他们看一场电影（即使不是你精心挑选过的），或去打保龄球，到溜冰场。
如果你有更小的兄弟姐妹，这是一个重新接触他们的好方法。是的，你们已经长大了，也许在过去几年里分开了——当你可能会发现你们现在有了新的共同点。
- 愿意调整你的习惯以迎合家人
对其他人而言，学生的睡眠习惯有时会有点不同。如果你习惯在凌晨四点上床睡觉而后赶得起来吃一份晚点晚餐，你可能需要修改一下你的时间表。吃饭时间也是一样——也许你习惯订一份晚间比萨饼，而你的家人却会在六点吃晚餐。
尝试适应家庭生活，即使这意味着要 学习如何早起. - 写一张纸条——“感谢你们养育了我”
到你父母家拜访后，你应该写一张感谢纸条（有时被称作是“面包和奶油”纸条），纸条不需要写的很长；就用一张漂亮的信纸卡片，然后写些“感谢你让我留下来一周，和大家一起生活很高兴，也很开心能享受到家里的饭菜”之类的话语。
你的父母可能不会期待收到一张纸条，所以这是一个让他们惊喜的好方法，保证你下次回来会受欢迎！
你是一位对如何让拜访进展顺利有诀窍，且经常拜访父母家的客人吗？或者你有孩子经常出现在家门口而又不把你当回事吗？让我们了解一下你的经历！