One of the world’s zaniest horses does everything but talk — but that doesn’t stop him from trying. Patches is one pampered male — a human trapped inside a horse’s body. He rides in a coordinating convertible Cadillac, eats cheeseburgers, drinks apple juice, and sleeps in a queen-sized bed.
Equine entrepreneurs and brothers Robert and Herbert Thompson are just a couple of good ole boys and their pony, doing what comes natural.
“Every time we’d start to go anywhere, he would act like he wanted to go with us.” says Herbert.
“So I said why don’t we fix the car so he can get in and out. We fixed the car, and sure enough …”
Robert says “While he’s riding in the car, he’s watching the scenery go by.”
“We’d be out riding with him in the car, get hungry and want us a burger.” says Herbert. “When we pulled in to get us one, well naturally the first thing we thought about was Patches, reckoning he would want one.”
“He has eaten as many as 5 cheeseburgers.” said Herbert. “He doesn’t care much for coke, but he loves his apple juice.”
“He really likes TV a lot — but he likes Westerns.”
“I’ll send him to the fridge to get me a beer. He’ll open the door on the fridge, reach in and get a beer and bring it to me.” says Herbert, as Patches begrudgingly gives it up to him.
“He answers the phone, but he doesn’t actually talk.” adds Robert. “You can put the phone up to his mouth and he moves his lips.”
Living the life that Mr. Ed, the talking horse would envy, Robert tucks Patches in to his queen-sized bed as the madcap stud pulls his blanket up close with his teeth, all snuggled in for the night. Just another regular day in the life of the Thompson boys.
Patches’ MySpace Page
Patches tells us he’s a single, 25-year old Libra male from Dallas Texas.
General Interests:
I love pimpin in the Caddy, cheeseburgers, apple juice, hay, crashing in the bed, Westerns, Animal Planet, Horseshoes, ladies riding me bare back, being brushed, green pastures, Horse Racing, Bull Riding, Petting Zoos (only in central park), grazing cheeseburgers (no coke), swatting flies with my tail … but most of all making short films.
Favorite Music:
Mostly Country and The Lone Ranger
Favorite Films:
Blazing Saddles
Favorite TV Shows:
Mostly Westerns, MR.Ed, Lone Ranger, ANIMAL PLANET, and anything with the Duke.
Favorite Books:
Anything by Louis L’Amour or Farrakhan
Heroes:
The inventor of the Cheeseburger!!! The inventor of the CADDY, my owners the Thompson Brothers, John Wayne, Roy Rogers, Lil’ Jon, and Ronald McDonald
Occupation:
Car riding and cheeseburger eating
Patches is in it for networking, dating, serious relationships, and friends, so check out his MySpace page to add him to your social network.
译文:
世上最疯狂的马——就差开口说话了
作为世界上最搞笑的马中一员，这家伙可以说什么都干过，就差开口说话了，但是他仍不会停下尝试的脚步。帕切斯是个爱享乐的哥们儿——一个被马身囚禁的人类灵魂。他出门坐设计精良的敞篷凯迪拉克、大嚼干酪碎牛肉三明治、畅饮苹果汁、在大号床上四脚八叉呼呼地睡。
从事马业务的企业家罗伯特·汤普森和赫尔波特·汤普森兄弟，这两个老男孩，和他们的小马驹儿，总做他们爱做的，看起来那么的自然。
“每当我们要去什么地方的时候，它都表现出要跟我们一起上路的样子。”赫尔波特说。
“所以，我说我们为什么不改装一下车，让他上来了？于是我们改装了我们的车，并且很确定……”罗伯特说，“当他坐在车上时，他就看沿途风景。”
“我们最好载着他出去，他饿了，就问我们要碎肉夹饼吃。”赫尔波特说，“当我们拿出饼给自己的时候，很自然地想起了我们的帕切斯，估摸他是不是也想来一个。”
“他一顿能吃5个干酪碎牛肉三明治。”赫尔波特说，“他对可乐没多大兴趣，但是他对他的苹果汁情有独钟。”
他真的很喜欢看电视，尤其是西部片。
“我让他到冰箱里帮我取一瓶啤酒，他就会打开冰箱门，把嘴凑进去取一瓶啤酒拿给我。”赫尔波特说。这时帕切斯小气的给了他一瓶啤酒。”
他还能接电话，当然他不能开口说话。”罗伯特说，“你把电话机放在他嘴边，他的嘴唇会动起来。”
帕切斯过着爱德先生——会说话的马也会嫉妒的生活。罗伯特把帕切斯安顿到那张大号床上，这个狂妄的马仔就用他的牙齿咬着毯子把自己盖得严严实实，在这里舒舒服服得睡到天亮，迎来汤普森老男孩们的平常一天。
帕切斯空间主页
帕切斯告诉我们，他来自得克萨斯的达拉斯，男，单身，25岁，天秤座。
兴趣爱好：
改装车caddy，干酪碎牛肉三明治，苹果汁，干草，在床上睡觉，西部片，动物星球，马鞋，女士们骑在我的光背上，刷毛，绿草场，赛马，骑牛，宠物动物园（仅限中央公园的），大嚼干酪碎牛肉三明治（不带可乐），用尾巴拍苍蝇……但拍摄短篇是最爱。
最喜欢的音乐：
乡村之音和孤独的巡逻骑兵
最喜欢的电影：
《灼热的马鞍》
最喜欢的电视秀：
主要是《西部》、《爱德先生》、《孤独的巡逻骑兵》、《动物星球》及与《公爵》有关的节目
最喜欢的书：
只要是路易斯·拉默或法拉坎写的都喜欢
心目中的英雄：
发明干酪碎牛肉三明治的人！！！发明caddy的人，我的主人汤普森兄弟，约翰·韦恩，罗伊·罗杰，李·琼和罗纳德·麦当劳。
职业：
乘车、吃干酪碎牛肉三明治
帕切斯正热衷于他的网络事业、约会、人际关系、交友，所以点击他的MySpace page 空间主页 ，加他为你社会关系网中的一员吧！