You leave no cushion unturned. You search the house until you’re in a state, roaring internally (and perhaps externally) with frustration. You waste ten minutes and a load of energy.
Eventually you give up the hunt – that important form you were filling out has disappeared into the ether. Sulking, you put the kettle on and plonk yourself in front of the TV.
Then you finally hear it – that quiet voice inside. It was talking to you all along, telling you that the form was in your back pocket the whole time – right where you put it when that charity collector knocked on the door.
Flow Like Water
Life works in cycles - just as there will be times when progress is easy and enjoyable, there will be times when the obstacles you face seem insurmountable. This is not the time to push harder.
It is the time to retreat, to let go, to meditate and wait. It is the time to cease judgment and to practice acceptance.
In our society we are brought up to believe that in times of adversity the way forward is to push, to fight, to be steadfast. We are told to grit our teeth, roll up our sleeves and persevere despite all odds.
The Taoist way teaches the opposite, recommending the way of yin - the way of water. A steady drip of water can erode a path through rock, and it does so while yielding.
The Taoists called this wu wei – effortless action. Often by not responding we find a solution will naturally arise. This strategy can, despite all you may have been brought up to believe, render powerless the aggressor. Instead of trying, fail to respond. Replace advancement with retreat. Instead of resisting, submit. Rather than facing up, hide. Don’t push; flow around the rocks.
Running Out of Juice?
Years ago I took on a job managing a small juice bar, part of a chain. I thought it would be easy. It wasn’t. The demands from head office were incredible. My days were spent racing against the clock, pushing myself to the limit. I would start early and hit the couch late each night completely bushed and unable to enjoy life. To make things worse, the pay wasn’t very good.
Stressed out, exhausted and perpetually broke, I considered my options. I was giving my all, and although I was meeting the demands being placed on me, it was obvious I couldn’t go on this way for long. I couldn’t hire more staff as I had to run the shop on a tight ‘cash-takings to staff-hours’ percentage formula. In order to make the percentage I could only ever put on a certain amount of staff (never enough to take the pressure off).
It seemed obvious that I would have to quit, but I needed an income. So I decided to give it a month and just see what came up. I gave my notice, and waited. Within two weeks, to my surprise, I was offered a job at head office – with higher pay and much better conditions. Sweet!
The lesson I learned here was that ‘doing nothing’, or retreating, is one of the best forward moving strategies available. If I had kept pushing myself I would have burned out. I would have lost my temper with somebody from head office or made myself ill, and in both cases wound up without an income. Instead – by retreating and waiting, by taking the path of least resistance – a better solution naturally arose.
Responding passively does not automatically sound like good advice to the Western ear. The word ‘passive’ is connected with weakness; ‘look after number one’ is the prevailing wisdom. But if we hang back, problems often resolve of their own accord. Meanwhile we can save energy, and earn respect, by refusing to respond in a knee-jerk way.
The Up-Side of Passive Aggression
You are being continuously hounded by a nasty, arrogant middle-manager – somebody senior to you, but not the overall boss. This person keeps pushing you around; not explaining your role clearly, getting mad at you for not doing things their way, and taking every opportunity to make you look stupid in front of others.
How should you respond?
If you were to react aggressively, you would do yourself no favors. The chances are this would work against you because, when faced with two ranting idiots, the boss would probably see little option but to take sides with the more senior staff member.
But if you were to respond meekly, if you kept your temper in check and your best manners and diplomacy on display, you would set yourself up for a better outcome. The chances are that if your middle-manager is stomping around belittling people, then the person is probably making few friends and earning little respect. All you need do is wait and watch as this person digs his or her own grave.
People will start to niggle about him or her to you – just smile mysteriously (it is important that you don’t give an opinion yourself, but allow others to draw their own inferences from your silence).
Nasty Manager, Hidden Opportunity
Eventually, if they don’t already know about it, the powers-that-be will find out about your middle-manager’s bad attitude, and one day you will arrive at work to find his or her desk empty. They finally got up the boss’s nose to get sneezed out the door.
Meanwhile, you, Oh Master of the Effortless Way, will have done nothing to harm your own reputation – and you just may find you have effortlessly earned yourself a tasty little promotion…
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Seamus Anthony is a musician, writer and entrepreneur who lives in the beautiful Dandenong Ranges, near Melbourne, Australia. You can check out more of his personal development writing at http://rebelzen.com
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译文:
迂回：如何轻松获得晋升
你一离开就把软垫弄翻，你在房间里到处找直到把自己搞得乱七八糟，你在受挫后咆哮，内心的，又或者是外表的，你浪费了很多时间和大量精力。最后你放弃搜寻，你填写的那个重要表格已经消失不见了，你只能生气，然后泡上一壶茶坐在了电视前面。
你会听到那么一个声音，轻轻的发自内心的声音。它不停地和你说着，说着那个表格一直都在你背后的口袋里，就是当那个慈善收藏家敲门时你放的那个地方。
像水一样流淌
生命是循环的，正如你所面对的困难似乎不可战胜，终有一天前进又是那么的简单和快乐。所以，没有必要去更辛苦地推翻它。这是迂回的时候，随它去吧，冥想，等待。这个时候你要停止判断和习惯接受。
在现代社会，我们被灌输着这么一个思想：在逆境中时，我们要努力争取，要战斗，要坚持下去。我们被告知要咬紧牙关，卷起袖子，不管成败地坚持。
道家讲给我们听的又是另外一回事，它建议我们用柔的方法，像水那样。滴水穿石，即使那水是多么的柔和。
道家的叫法是无为，不刻意去做的行为。通常不用去找，答案就会自然浮现。不论你曾经被灌输着什么思想，这种策略可以示攻击者以无力。用迂回的进步来代替艰难尝试后一无所获，用顺从代替反抗，用隐藏代替直面。像水遇到巨石那样，不要试着去推倒它，在它周围流淌吧。
果汁用完了？
多年前我做了一个管理小果汁吧的工作，系列流水线中的一部分。我当时想着很简单，结果不是。总公司的要求是难以置信的，我整天都在和时间赛跑，让自己冲得最快。我一大早就要开始，然后在很晚的时候拖着疲惫身体上床，根本不能享受生活。更糟糕的是，报酬不多。
被迫付出，精疲力竭，长期的一文不名，我开始考虑着我的选择。我付出了我的全部，尽管是履行自己的职责。很明显，我不能再这样下去了。我不能雇佣更多的员工，因为我必须在紧张营业收入和员工工作时长比例的规则下保证果汁店的正常运行。为了这个比例，我只能靠某个有限数量的员工来维持（这从来不能减轻我的压力）。
很明显，我不得不退出，但是我得有收入。于是我决定再过一个月，看看会有什么发生。我提醒着自己，然后等待。非常惊奇，在接下来的两周内，我得到了一个在总公司工作的机会，更好的报酬和更好的环境。非常美好！
在这里我学到了这么一堂课，无为，或者是迂回，是最好的前进策略之一。如果当时我继续猛冲，我会崩溃。我可能会跟总公司的人发火，可能会生病，而这两种情况都会让我受到失去收入的伤害。相反，通过迂回和等待，选择最小的那种抵抗，一个更好的解决方法自然而然地出现了。
被动在西方观念中不如主动的建议好，“被动”这个词是和软弱联系在一起的，“为自己打算”是很大一部分人的至理明言。但是如果我们暂且放下，问题常常就自己解决了。这期间我们可以保存精力，还会因拒绝冲动而赢得尊重。
被动进攻的深层理解
你不断地被令人厌恶的、傲慢的中层经理驱使，他比你资格老，但又不是最终老板。这个人不断地把你推来推去，不给你明确的任务解释，而一旦不按照他们的要求做就要对着你发怒，还要抓住任何能让你在别人面前出丑的机会。你该怎么办？
如果你激烈反抗，你不会给自己带来支持。很大的可能是逆着你的想法来的，当面对两个激动的白痴时，老板肯定会偏袒更老资格的下属，不会有其他选择。
如果温顺地回应，控制好自己的脾气，用最好的处世方法礼貌对待同事，你会得到一个更好的结果，而你的那个中层经理不会交到朋友，不会赢得尊重，你唯一需要做的只是等待，看着他自掘坟墓。
人们会开始和你背地讨论他（她），神秘一笑就行。不要发表自己看法，让他们在你的沉默中得到结论，这很重要。
令人厌恶的经理，暗藏机遇
最后，如果同事们没有全部了解这些，你的老板也会发现那个中层经理的恶劣情况。有一天当你去上班的时候会发现，他的桌子是空的。老板终于对大家的行为有所反应了。
不费任何力气，这件事对你的名声没有任何影响。同时，你很大可能会发现自己很轻松地就得到了一个可观的晋升。