You do not have to look very far to learn how to be happy. In fact, there are no expensive workshops or courses to take, or books that you need to read. You do not even need to sit in meditation to gain great insights. Well, if you are seeking for happiness, then notice who around you seems to be happy all day? That’s right – kids!
Laughter is a natural thing with kids. If you spend some time playing with them, it is easy to get infected with their happy smiles. While there are moments that kids get upset, you find that you can learn a thing or two from them about forgetting their anger just as quickly. It is also possible that you start to remember a time when you used to be a kid and how life seemed so easy and without worries.
If anything, here are 7 ways that you can learn from kids on how to happy:
- Living in the present
Kids have a wonderful way of living one moment at a time. Their feelings are often based on events as they happen. They are mostly joyful. At times, they may feel negative and this usually happens in a fight over toys or games. However, as soon as they get distracted with something new, they no longer hold on to their negative emotions. Instead, they are happy once again.
As adults, we tend to remain angry or upset even way after the event. We are experts in accumulating anger in an internal storehouse. Our minds get stuck a lot in the past. We do not live in the present moment as it is now. It is hard to be happy when we have no present moment awareness.
- Single Focus While Doing Things
When a child is playing a tag, he is playing tag. He is not playing tag and thinking about the picture he will draw later and the block castle he will build tomorrow morning. He is single focused.
As adults, we get stressed because we pile on many things into a single moment. We overwhelm ourselves with our “to do” list. Unfortunately, in trying to multi-task, our mind gets detracted from being present in each task. We end up rushing through time. There is no space for slowing down, let alone breathe. At the very worst, with so many things to do, we end up not accomplishing much.
So, if you find it hard to cope, slow down a little. Be single focused in the things that needs to be done first. After you finish, then move on to the next down your list. You find life more of a breeze, when you can reduce the number of things you need to do at any one point in time.
- Use of Imagination
Kids are always using their imagination, whether they are playing a game or drawing a picture. They love pretend play and are intrigued by stories about magic, dreams and what seems humanly impossible. If you think about it, imagination is the seed of the feeling of joy. When you indulge in your dreams, endorphins are released, giving you a nice warm sensation.
It is funny that how as adults we have forgotten about using our imagination. School has trained us to be more left-brained and analytical. We also become more rigid in the way we do things and our expectations. Then, when events do not happen according to plan, we become very unhappy. We are less open to new possibilities, because we have lost our sense of imagination.
- The future is limitless
To many kids, everything in life is possible. The sky is the limit and they have their whole lives ahead of them. There is no reason for them to feel as if time is working against them.
Well, you can adopt the very same attitude and not be held hostage by time considerations. It is never too late. If there is something you have been waiting to do with your life, then go for it. The last you want would be a life of regret. Joy escapes you when you allow life to become stale.
- Always Joyful
Children are always happy because they find joy in little things. They get excited when they see a butterfly, jump over a puddle or get to go to McDonalds. They do not over analyze situations and do not assume the worst in people or situations. They keep things simple.
To remind yourself about being joyful, keep a gratitude journal. List down the many blessings that you currently enjoy in your life. Additionally, on a regular basis, do something small that makes you happy like reading one chapter of a book you like or taking a walk in the park.
- Inherent Goodness and Trust in Others
Children have an inherent goodness about them. They do not intend to hurt anyone and they do not naturally think that anyone would want to hurt them. With no such ill intent or worries, it is easy to be just happy all day!
Imagine what the world would be like if everyone could play and work nicely together. Adults should learn from kids to put aside their differences and care for each other. Love creates happiness.
- Absolute Faith In Getting Their Wishes Fulfilled
It is amazing how kids can have so much faith that their wishes will be granted. Ever get badgered by your kids until you "cave" in to give them what they want? Believe me; it is not easy to stay firm when you are up against their cheeky smiles.
Another example I can think of is about the wishes of my kids to see the world. They talk about their travel plans all the time. There was never a shred of doubt that their wishes will be granted one day.
Do we hold as much faith in our own dreams? Probably not. We are too encumbered by unnecessary worries. We limit ourselves by our beliefs. If things are not working in our favor, we may even choose to give up half way and ditch our dreams.
In conclusion, to be happy, reconnect with the inner child in you. Be around kids if it helps. If you do not have any, check out your local playground. Better yet, volunteer some time at a Children’s Orphanage. Bring out the imaginative, joyful, and trusting qualities in you. By becoming more child-like, you are well on your way to becoming less of a stress bag.
-Evelyn
译文:
从孩子身上学到的7大快乐法则
很多人为了寻找快乐到处取经，其实不必那么周折。事实上，世界上根本就没有什么“快乐训练营”“幸福课程”；也不会有什么快乐“宝典”之类的书籍；你甚至不需要坐下来冥思苦想如何才能得到快乐。
这样吧， 如果你现在正在寻找快乐，那你注意观察一下你周围的人，看谁一天到晚都开开心心，无忧无虑？你也许注意到了，对，没错，我要说的就是---孩子。
笑是孩子的天性。你要是花点时间跟小孩子玩玩，你会发现你很容易受他们无邪的笑容感染。偶尔看到他们不高兴，你绝对会被他们“变脸”速度之快而折服。也许那时候你会开始怀念自己的童年时代，你会想儿提时期的生活是多么简单，多么无忧无虑啊！不要幻想了，这里教你7招，赶快从小孩身上学学吧。
第一招：过目则忘
孩子们在处理时间上，真有一招。他们的感觉往往只停留在事情发生的那一刻，过了就忘了。他们总是很快活，偶尔，他们也会因为玩具或者游戏争抢、哭闹。可是只要稍稍转移一下他们的注意力，他们马上又破涕为笑了。
但是作为成人，我们却总是把恼怒、忧伤放在心上，即使事情过去很久了，仍不忘记，我们都成了积怨专家，我们把常年的怨气藏在心底深处。我们的思维会停留在过去的事情上，而忘记自己的生活还在继续。然而，如果没有一种意识让自己面对现实，那么，想快乐起来恐怕很难哦！
第二招：一心一用
小孩子玩游戏就是玩游戏，他们不会玩游戏的时候想着自己要画的画，也不会想他明天早上要搭的积木，他就是一心一意的玩游戏。
但是成人呢，我们总是压力重重因为我们脑子里藏着很多事情。我们总是用一堆要做的事情自己吓唬自己。可惜的是，我们脑子里想着很多事情，而手头上的事情却又做不好。我们总是急急忙忙，赶时间，似乎没有时间和空间让我们放慢脚步，甚至没有时间喘口气。更坏的是，虽然想着那一堆的事情，往往最后完不成几件。
所以，如果你觉得什么事情很棘手，试着放慢一点，分清先后主次，把最急需做的事情先完成。做完以后，再去做第二件。如果你可以专注的做某件事情的时候，你会发现你的生活充满阳光。
第三招：发挥想象力
小孩子总是喜欢想象，哪怕他们是在玩游戏或者画画。他们喜欢玩过家家，他们总是对故事里的魔法、美梦和一些人类不可能做的事情充满好奇。事实上，幻想是快活之源。当人沉浸自己的梦里时，体内的内啡肽被释放出来，向人体提供一股暖流，让人倍感舒服。
有时想想觉得好笑，我们都不知道我们是怎么停止幻想的。教育总是培养我们用左脑思考，让我们变得有逻辑会分析，而我们在处理问题满足自己愿望的同时，逐渐变得古板起来。但是，如果我们的愿望不能实现，我们会变得沮丧。我们似乎越来越不敢考虑新途径，因为我们已经丧失了想象能力。
第四招：时间无限
对很多小孩子来说，生活中一切都有可能。别人都说天是想象的边界，可是孩子们的想象力远远超越了天空的极限，他们从来不会感觉他们的力气是白费，时间被浪费。
当然，你可以学习孩子们的生活态度，不要被时间俘虏。不管什么事情，只要你开始了，永远都不算晚。如果你一直在期待着做某件事情，却迟迟没有动手，那么现在赶快行动起来吧，否则，你的人生就会充满遗憾。当生命变得疲倦乏味，快乐也会从指尖滑过。
第五招：容易满足
孩子们总是很快活，因为很小的事情都会让他们满足。他们会因为看到蝴蝶而激动；会因为跳过了小水坑而得意，还会因为要去麦当劳而兴奋。他们从来都不会分析情况从来不会想象过程中的不快。他们把一切都看得简简单单。
如果你想变得快活，那么学会记感恩日志吧。写下你最近遇到的种种礼遇，另外，时不时的给自己一点小恩惠来让自己开心，比如读一章你喜欢的书、到公园散散步。
第六：天性善良，与人为善
人之初，性本善。小孩天性善良，他们不会蓄意伤害任何人，他们也从来不会相信别人会要伤害他们，没有了这种心理，他们过得轻松自在。
想象一下如果每一个人都能够真诚，善良的对待别人，我们的世界将是什么样？成人真应该向小孩子学习，求同存异，关爱他人，要知道：爱让人幸福。
第七招：相信梦想可以成真
小孩子始终相信自己的梦想可以成真，这真让人惊诧。你的小孩是否曾经为得到什么东西纠缠不休，直到你投降才作罢？相信我吧，当小孩一次次笑着向你祈求时，你很难不动摇。
我又想起了一件事，那是我孩子们周游世界的梦想。他们不断的讨论着他们环游世界的计划，他们似乎一点也不怀疑他们的梦想不会实现。
而我们对待梦想的时候是不是拥有同样不败的信念呢？也许没有吧。我们总是被这样那样的忧虑所阻碍，我们被一些所谓的信念束缚。如果事情不像我们想象的发展，我们会中途放弃自己的梦想。
总而言之，要想活的开心请保持住你内心的那份童心。多和小孩子呆在一起，如果你相信那会对你有帮助。如果你身边没有小孩，看看你们小区有没有小孩，他们是不是经常在楼下玩耍。甚至，你还可以到儿童福利院去做义工，把你深藏起来的想象力、快活劲一股脑儿全释放出来。要知道：在生活中你表现得越天真，你所面临的压力就会越小。
--伊夫林