Even parents need occasional reminders on how to be a loving, responsible parent to children, from the day our children are born and even into adulthood.
Taking a look at how our children view the world in general, and their perceptions on our parenting skills, can help parents improve their communication style that builds self-confidence and self-esteem in children that are necessary to succeed in life.
Ten Commandments for Parents:
1. My hands are small; please don’t expect perfection whenever I make my bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.
Remember, it’s our parental responsibility to teach and train our children how to do even the basics of life such as, how to make a bed, how to brush their teeth properly, how to prepare simple meals, how to dust and vacuum, but not expecting perfection in each task. As children learn each new life skill, give them opportunities to practice these in your own home, so young children and teenagers can feel good about themselves and build confidence in their own abilities.
2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely; don’t restrict me unnecessarily.
It should go without saying but, this advice does not include allowing our children such a wide berth of “freedom to explore” their surroundings in such a way that might put children at risk of being harmed or abused in some way.
3. Housework will always be there. I’m only little for such a short time-please take the time to explain things to me about this wonderful world and do so willingly.
4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs; don’t nag me all day long. (You wouldn’t want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness). Treat me as you would like to be treated.
No matter how busy we are as parents, taking care of the home, jobs and other duties, make sure you are taking/making the time to really listen to your children. Physically stop whatever you’re doing when your child wants or needs to talk to you, rather than thoughtlessly telling children you are “too busy right now”, making sure you are giving your child undivided attention and looking directly into their eyes when they are speaking.
5. I am a special gift; please treasure me as my Creator intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.
6. I need your encouragement, not just your praise to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.
7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my own mistakes. Then someday I will be prepared to make the kind of decisions life will require of me.
8. Please don’t do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn’t quite measure to your expectations. I know it’s hard, but please don’t try to compare me to my brother or sister.
If you have the tendency to give your child a chore to do, but continuously follow closely behind to re-do the chore “your way”, you might need to consider if you are really helping or enabling your child’s efforts to grow and fully develop.
9. Please don’t be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need a vacation from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides it’s a great way to show us kids that your marriage is very special.
Taking and making time to be alone with your spouse, over a weekend trip or during “Date Night” away from the kids, is beneficial for children as well as for married couples. It’s so easy to get bogged down with various aspects of daily living that we may find the fire and romance in marriage once enjoyed, before the kids came along, begins to slip away from us.
10. Please set a good example for me to follow in all the ways of life. I enjoy watching the things you do and want to do them just like you do.
The old saying, “Children learn what they live” couldn’t be more true, so make sure as parents that the attitude and behaviors children learn are the ones you really want your children to exhibit in their lives.
译文:
一个孩子给父母的“十诫”
即使已身为人父、人母，大人们也经常需要别人提醒要做一个充满爱心、负责的家长，从我们的孩子出生起一直到长大成人。
来看看我们的孩子是如何看待这个世界的吧，他们又是怎样评断我们家长当得如何，这有助父母提高和孩子交流的技巧，帮助孩子提升自信心，自我尊重，使孩子能在他们的人生中取得成功。
给家长的“十诫”：
1. 我的手还很小；所以不要总是期望我能做得很完美，不管是铺床，画画或是扔球。我的腿还很短；所以请走得慢些让我能跟得上你。
要记住，教孩子和训练孩子，甚至是那些生活的基本技能好比如何铺床，如何正确刷牙，如何做些简单的饭菜，如何用吸尘机都是我们家长的责任。但你不应该期望孩子每件事都做得很完美。当孩子学会了新的生活技能，要在家中
给他们机会练习，这样小孩和青少年会觉得很有成就感，对自己的能力建立起自信心。
2. 我眼中的世界与你的不同；所以请让我安全地探索；不要太过限制我的自由。
虽然好像不该说，但孩子的这个建议不该把允许孩子去那些可能
会让孩子受伤或被虐待的地方“自由探索”算在内。
3. 家务活总是在那儿的，我只是需要你一点点时间给我说说关于这个美妙的世界，而且不是出于勉强而告诉我。
4. 我内心很柔弱；所以请对我的需求温柔对待；不要整天唠唠叨叨。（你也不想因为自己的好奇被数落吧）。己所不欲，勿施于人。
无论家长有多忙，要照顾家庭，工作和别的事，一定要确保有真正倾听孩子心声的时间。孩子有话和你说时，要真正停下手头的工作，而不是不假思索地告诉孩子你“正忙着呢”，要保证全神贯注听孩子的话，他们在说话时要看着他们的眼睛。
5. 我是一份特别的礼物；所以请好好待我，正如上帝告诉你要这么做一般，对我的行为负责，指引我的生活，以爱的方式对我要求。
6. 我需要你的鼓励，而不只是表扬我说我长大了。请注意批评我的方式；你可以批评我做错的事，但不要否定我这个人。
7. 请给我自己做决定的自由。允许我犯错，这样我可以从中得到教训。这样总有一天我可以为做出人生中重要的决定做好准备。
8. 不要把我做过的事再替我返工。这样我会觉得我的努力没有达到你的期望。我知道这很难，但请不要把我和哥哥姐姐做比较。
如果你经常让孩子做些家务事，但马上又会在他做完之后重新用“你的方式”返工，你也许需要考虑下你是否真的在
帮助孩子成长和完善自我吗。
9. 请不要担心你们一起离开家一个周末。孩子需要没有家长在的假期，就如同家长也需要没有孩子在的假期一样。此外，这也是一种很好的方法告诉孩子，你的婚姻是非常特殊的。
在没有孩子在的情况下，抽时间单独和伴侣在一起，可以是一次周末的旅行或是“约会之夜”，这不仅对孩子有好处，也对已婚夫妇有利。有时很容易发现，生活中的琐事在孩子降临之前就磨光了我们曾经拥有的
婚姻里的浪漫之火。
10. 请在生活的各方面为我树立一个好榜样。我喜欢观察你做的事，然后照着你的样子做。
俗话说，“环境教会孩子一切”，这句话再正确不过了，所以要确保
家长的人生态度和行为举止是你真正想让你的孩子以后在他的人生中所展现的。