This is a guest post by Glen Allsopp from PluginID.
There are times in life where we get ‘wake up calls’ to the harsh reality of what is out there and realise we need to make changes to our current situation. Whether it is the death of someone close to you or seeing other people make something of their lives, until these happen we don’t notice we’ve probably been doing nothing productive with our time.
I’m a big believer in the concept of making the most of what we have, so today I wanted to share six truths about life that should hopefully help inspire and motivate you to make a difference. Some of these may help you a lot, some…not so much .Either way, I hope you get something out of this that inspires you to make a difference and apply change to your life where necessary.
1. This is Life
Quite possibly the most obvious but most eye-opening advice I can ever offer people is the statement: this is life. We may have more than one shot, but nobody knows that for certain so we have to make the most of what we have. This is it. Right now. This is life. More likely than not you will never get this opportunity again.
Let go of all the grudges you hold against others, make sure all the people that are important in your life know how you feel, and don’t waste another minute complaining about something petty. Could you honestly say that if you knew you were dying tomorrow you’ve made the most of the opportunity you have?
If not (which I’m sure applies to most people), then look at areas that instantly popped into your mind when asking yourself that question. What is holding you back?
2. Happiness isn’t Found in Possessions
Some of you may agree with me on this, some may disagree. For those that disagree, would you still be happy through your possessions if nobody else in the world ever knew about them? We can be fooled into thinking that possessions bring happiness due to the Ego boost or feelings of self-esteem we get from new purchases.
It was when I first heard this concept that I started to look to see if it was true. It was a few days before Christmas and I thought “No way! Possessions (games consoles in this case) can make us happy”. Yes, they can…for a limited amount of time if anything at all. True happiness is found in freeing yourself in life, going for the things you want and not letting others hold you back.
3. Caring What People Think will Hurt You More Than any Benefit
Even writing out that title I’m thinking “What are the benefits of caring about what people think of us?” Of course, when I say this I’m not suggesting you should go out, beat people up and break into shops. No, I’m referring to the judgements of others and the way we worry about how people will react to our decisions, our goals or even the way we dress.
If you spend your life worrying about what people think of you, you’re never going to find your true self. Your actions will be largely dictated on your assumptions of the opinions of others. Recently, when I showed my ~20 year old malefriends about my blog, I really thought they were going to judge me, and think “Why are you writing all this self help rubbish?”. Well, guess what? They actually loved what I have to write and fully support what I do.
Of course, not everyone will think like that, but if I had of worried from the start I would have never started my website in the first place, and I wouldn’t be writing this article today. What other people say about you is none of your business. Internalise that.
4. To Get Over Fears, Face Them
Fears come in many forms, but it’s rarely the fears of our current situation that bother us. When we fear things the most we fear the future, instead of focusing on the present moment. I’m sure some of you can relate to being nervous about driving when you first started to learn, but do any feelings of anxiety even cross your mind now that you drove so often? Probably not.
One of my biggest fears has always been public speaking, I can be very social but it was only until I knew a person that I started to show my real self. Despite having this fear, I decided to join a local speakers club and actually had my first speech yesterday.
My finishing line went something like this: “I’ve always been afraid of public speaking. However, I want to be the kind of person that fears public speaking, then signs up to a club and goes and speaks“. What about you?
5. Tomorrow May Not Come
With each day, my aim is to have been as productive as the one before. There are my off days where I take time out, relax, go out with friends, but on a usual Monday to Friday I always want to be as effective and efficient as possible. With each day I want to be proud of my accomplishments, I want the people around me to know how much they mean to me and I want to accept my mistakes and let go of any negative feelings.
People make mistakes, all of us do. Don’t waste your time worrying about what has happened. If you can take action then do so, otherwise just let go. Accept all that is, having things on your mind is going to stress you out more than the actual problem itself. As I demonstrated in point 3, worrying isn’t even worth it most of the time, things don’t turn out how we expect.
6. Only You Can Make These Happen
Hopefully some of the points here have motivated you somewhat to look at your life and see if you are on the ‘right’ path. If so then excellent. There’s just one more thing you need to know: only you can take action and make things happen. Friends can encourage you, your family can push you out there to do things, but at the end of the day, it’s up to you to make changes into habits, then habits into your lifestyle.
The support of others, the words in this post, your own beliefs…they are all great, they’ll help you get to a certain position. But ultimately it is you that has to look at your own situation, work out whether this is the life you want to live or whether you need to make some changes. If you do see that changes are necessary, go make them, show others what is possible rather than needing them to show you.
Thanks to Steve for the opportunity to post here.
Glen Allsopp moved to South Africa at the age of 18 where he didn’t know one single person. In that time he started a blog on Personal Development, and now aims to help people live the life they want to live.
译文:
从现实中清醒，行动起来
这是在 PluginID 由格伦 Allsopp 写的一封客户邮件。
生活中有时候“闹铃”让我们清醒认识到现实的严峻，并使我们意识到我们需要改变一下现状。无论是与你关系密切的人去世了，还是看到别人事业有成了，直到这些发生了我们才意识到也许我们一直在碌碌无为，虚度时间。
我深信充分利用我们所拥有的这种理念，所以今天我想和大家分享生活的六件事实，希望这些能鼓励和激发你做一些改变。有些可能对你帮助很大，有些、、、、、、帮助没那么大。不管帮助大不大，我希望你能从中有所收获，鼓励你做一些改变，把这些改变应用到生活中在用得着的地方。
1. 生活就是这样
我能提供给大家的可能是最易懂，然而却是最开阔眼界的良言始终是这句话：这就是生活。也许我们不止尝试过一次，但是没有人确信这句话是对的，因此我们必须充分利用我们所拥有的。就是这样子。马上行动吧。生活就是这样。也许你不会再有这样的机会了。
忘掉你对别人的不满，保证在你的生命中所有重要的人都知道你内心的感觉是什么样，不要浪费时间抱怨一些美好的事物。如果你明天就要死去，那么你能坦白说你已经充分利用拥有的机会了吗？
如果不能（我确定大部分人这样），回想突然出现在你脑海中的事情，然后自己问自己那个问题。是什么阻碍了你？
2. 快乐不是在物质上找到
在这点上有些人可能同意我的观点，有些人可能不同意。对那些不同意的人来说，如果世界上没有一个人认识他们，你还能在物质上找到快乐吗？我们可能上当受骗了，由于我们在购买东西中获得自信或满足自尊，就以为物质能带来快乐。
当我第一次听到这种观念的时候，我就想看看它到底对不对。圣诞节前几天，我曾想“不行！物质（安慰自己游戏在这种情况下）能让我们快乐。”是的，它们可以、、、、、、在一段有限的时间内如果没有别的事情做的话就可以。真正的快乐是在生活中解放自己找到的，去做自己想做的事，不要让别人阻碍了你。
3. 在乎别人的看法给你带来的烦恼超过任何好处
即使在写这个标题的时候我还一直在想“在乎别人怎么看我们有什么好处呢？”当然，当我说这句话的时候并不是建议你去痛殴别人，强行闯入商店。不是的，我指的是别人的评判和我们担心人们会怎样看待我们的决策，目标甚至是我们着装的方式。
如果你花时间担心别人怎么看你，你永远也不会找到真正的自己。你的行为大部分上被你设想别人怎么看你所支配。不久前，当我把我的博客公开给二十多岁的男性朋友们看的时候，我确实考虑过他们会评论我，并想他们可能会说“你为什么写出这堆废话呢？”然而，猜猜结果怎样？其实他们很喜欢我写的文章，并且非常支持我做的事情。
当然，并不是每个人都会那样想，但是如果我一开始就担心的话，当初我就根本不会创建我的第一个网站，我今天也不会写这篇文章。别人怎么谈论你与你无关。那些都是主观的。
4. 客服害怕心理，勇敢面对它们
害怕有很多种形式，但是对现状的害怕很少会让我们烦恼。然而我们最担心的事情是将来，而不是现在。我相信你们当中有些人第一次学开车的时候会紧张，但是现在你已经开了这么长时间的车了，你的脑海里还会出现任何忧虑吗？可能不会了。
我最大的害怕之一始终是公开演讲。我可能非常老练了，但是只有当我向我认识的人开始展示我的才华的时候我才不会紧张。尽管有这种惧怕心理，但我还是决定参加当地的公开演讲俱乐部，并且事实上昨天我进行了我的第一次演讲。
我的结束语类似这样：“我一直都害怕公开演讲。然而，我想成为害怕公开演讲的那类人，所以我就报名参加俱乐部演讲了。”你怎么做呢？
5. 也许没有明天
每天我的目标都会一个比一个有效率。在休息日的时候我会抽出时间和我的朋友们一起去玩，去放松，但是通常从周一到周五我总是尽可能高效率的工作。我想为每一天自己取得的成就自豪，我想让我身边的人都知道他们对我有多重要，我愿意接受我犯的错误，愿意忘掉不愉快的事。
我们每个人都会犯错误，不要浪费时间担心发生了什么事。如果你可以采取措施应对的话就这样做吧，要不然就忘掉它吧。接受所有一切吧，总是担心一些事就会给自己压力而不是实质问题本身。正如我在第三点中论证的那样，花大部分的时间担忧不值得，事情不会变成我们所期待的那样。
6. 只有你能让这些事情发生
希望这里的一些观点已经略微激发你留意你的生活，看看你是否走“对”了路。如果走对了，那就太好了。你还需要知道一件事：只有你可以采取行动让一些事情发生。朋友会鼓励你，父母会驱使你做一些事情，但是最后是你决定把这些改变养成习惯，然后形成生活方式。
别人的支持，这封邮件的话语，你自己的信念、、、、、、它们都很不错。它们可以帮你达到某种境界。但是最后你必须看看你的处境，弄清楚这是否是你想过的生活或者你是否需要做一些改变。如果你确实觉得那些改变是必要的，那就去改变它们，向别人证明哪些事是可能的，而不是让别人证明给你看。