Have you been feeling lost lately? Or maybe not quite lost, but adrift... not really knowing where you're going, or even which direction? You can even feel this way if you know where you want to go, but are at a loss for what to do right now to get there.
It's easy to start feeling lost or adrift when you feel like you are being pulled in too many directions at the same time. The feelings are a trap, too... easy to fall into but hard to escape.
So if you're feeling that way right now, what do you do? You could start by looking at your life as a boat. If you are in a boat and drifting without direction, what do you do to stop yourself? You drop anchor.
An anchor in your life serves the same function as an anchor in a boat... it holds you steady against the wind and the tides. It is something solid that you can rely on when everything else seems untrustworthy.
Life anchors are often people... someone you can trust. It could be your spouse, your parent, your brother or sister, or your best friend. They can also be places, places to which you can run and feel safe, or even things... some people might have a locket, a lucky coin, or even have their car as their anchor. It can even be an activity... some people can get lost (in the good way) in something they love to do.
No matter what your situation, there will always be something, or someone, around that you can use as an anchor. Anchors only work, however, when you hold on to them... if you dropped an anchor over the side of the boat that wasn't attached by rope or chain, it wouldn't do much good. You generally start to get lost, or drift, when you forget to hold on to your anchors, though sometimes it can be when one is yanked out from under you.
If you're feeling lost right now, here are some concrete steps you can take to stabilize your life:
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Focus On Where You Are Right Now
One of the main causes of feeling lost is the feeling that you are being pulled in many directions at once. You can combat this by concentrating on where you are right now, rather than where you are going. It won't cure your current state, but it can at least help you to keep it from getting worse.
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Find An Anchor
Once you are focused on where you are right now, look around you and find something that you can use as an anchor... find someone some thing, some place, or some activity that makes you feel safe. Your anchor doesn't have to make sense to anyone else, it just has to work for you.
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Hold On To Your Anchor
Once you've found your anchor, you have to hold on to it. Life's currents, the ups and downs that come constantly, can make you forget to hold on to your anchor. As soon as you do that, though, you also start to find it harder and harder to hold steady on the course that you wish to follow.
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Use Your Anchor
Finding an anchor does no good if you don't use it... spend time with that person, or in that place, or with that thing, and let yourself feel safe. Once you feel safe, then you can start to let go of all the mental build up, slowing your wild swinging around.
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Let Your Drifting Slow To A Stop
Sometimes, when you feel progress, you want to just jump back out there and push ahead. The same holds true with the feeling of being adrift... once you start to feel a little less stressed, you may feel the urge to push right back out. That can be dangerous in the same way it's dangerous to put too much weight on a recently broken bone... the surface may be healed, but it still may be a little weak underneath. While I certainly don't recommend that you spend the rest of your life hiding from, well, the rest of your life, I do recommend that you take the time to heal the damage that's a little deeper, too.
I want to take a moment to reinforce the fact that your anchor doesn't have to make sense as an anchor to anyone else... it's about what works for you. You may find something other people would consider bizarre that helps you... it could be a rusty nail, if that nail came from something important, or preparing meals for a crowd (working in a soup kitchen, for example). As long as it gives you that feeling of safety and stability, even if it's only so long as you're doing it, holding it, or with that person, it can help.
It's often easy to forget your anchors, or how important they are, too. That's a major reason relationships drift apart (see, the terminology is even the same)... the two people forget how important it is to spend time with each other, just using each other as an anchor... resting. If you have a spouse, and they are NOT one of your anchors, you really need to work on your relationship.
You will, of course, want to reach out from your anchors, too. But just like a routine makes you better able to appreciate and enjoy the exceptions, anchors help you to better reach out and move forward... you just have to remember to bring them with you.
译文:
感到迷失吗？也许是时候抛锚了
你最近觉得迷失吗？或者没有那么迷失，只是有点无所适从，不确切地知道你要实现什么目标，或者甚至不知道该往哪个方向走。如果你知道你想要做什么，但对于现在怎样做才能实现它你还是很困惑。
当你一时间有太多选择就像在同一时间被拖到很多个方向，这很容易迷失或者无所适从。这种感觉很像一个陷阱，陷进去了就很再难拔出来。
那么如果你现在就有那种感觉，你会怎么办？你应该开始把你的人生看成一艘船，倘若你在船上没有方向地漂流，你会做些什么让你自己停下来？你应该抛锚。
锚在你的生命中的作用就相当于它在一艘船上的作用，它能使你在风与浪中保持稳定，它是你在其他一切都不可靠的时候还可以依赖的某些东西。
人生之锚常常是人——一些你可以信赖的人。他可能是你的配偶，你的父母，你的兄弟姐妹，抑或是你最好的朋友；他们也可能是一些你可以奔跑、感觉安全的地方；甚至可以是一些物品——有些人可能有个小盒子，有枚幸运硬币，或者有辆车作为他们的锚。它还可以是一次活动——有的人可能沉醉于（好的方面）那些他们喜欢做的事情中。
不管你处于什么情况之下，总会有一些东西，一些人在你身边，而你可以把他们当作锚。然而，锚只在你紧紧握住他们的时候产生效果。如果你只把锚抛在船的一边而不连上绳索或铁链，效果也不会好到哪里去。而当忘记握紧锚时，有时尽管你想强拉它的时候它就在你眼皮底下，但你通常开始迷失、漂流。
若你正在感到迷失，这里有一些具体的步骤，他们可以安定你的生活：
1. 注意当下你处在什么位置
感到迷失最主要的原因是你感觉自己一下子被推到好几个方向去了。你可以集中注意到你现在在什么地方了的方式对付这种感觉，这不会让你当前的状态好转，但至少会帮助你不会让事情变得更糟。
2.找到一个锚
一旦你现在注意到了自己处在什么样的位置上，环顾四周，看看有没有什么可以让你当作一个锚，找人、找物、找地方，或者找活动，那些可以让你有安全感的东西。
3. 抓紧你的锚
一旦你找到了你的锚，你必须抓紧它。生活是流动的，高低起伏不断袭来，会让你忘记抓紧你的锚。尽管你适时地那样做了，还是会发现它比你预想的更加难以持稳。
4. 使用你的锚
找到了锚而你又不用也是徒劳的，花些时间和那人，那地方，或者那东西呆在一起，让你自己觉得有安全感。一旦你有了安全感，就可以放下所有的心理负担，把你最真实的那面展现出来。
5. 让你的漂流缓慢下来，到停为止
有时，当你感到了自己的进步，就想从迷失中跳回去，重新推进。你感到正在漂流时也一样，当你开始觉得少了压力，也许就有重新推进的冲动。那样是很危险的，就像你施加了太大的力在一块近期骨折的骨头上，表面完好如初，但皮下可能还很脆弱。当然，我不推荐你用余生都来抓紧锚，对，用你的余生，我只建议在已经治愈了你那有点深的创伤后松手。
我想用点时间来强调一下你的锚对别人未必产生作用，那只对你有效。你可能会找到一些别人觉得奇怪的东西，但它能帮助你，它可能会是一颗生锈的钉子，而那颗钉子来源于某个重要的事。或者给一群人准备膳食（比如说做汤）。只要它能带给你安全感和稳定感，即使你仅仅是当你做这件事情的时候，拿着那件东西的时候，或者与那个人呆在一起的时候，这些都会帮到你。
你常常会很容易忘记你的锚，也可能忘记他们有多么重要。这是主要的原因让你与他们的关系渐行渐远（看，术语甚至是相同的），两个人都忽略和对方呆在一起的重要性，仅仅是把对方当作潜在的锚。如果你有一个配偶，但他们不是你的锚，你还是要在你们的相处上多费功夫。
你当然也会想要延伸你的锚，但是就像日常工作会让你更好地学会感激、享受意外一样，锚会帮助你更好地延伸和向前，你只是记得要随身携带就是了。